How to forgive for adultery?

[PrettyGood]

I thought I could forgive him for adultery (he slept with other woman). But as more I think about how he kissed her, made oral, and touched her, I'm feeling too deep pain inside. I'm trying not to think about it often, because I promised to forgive him, but I'm always seeing them naked, cuddling in the bed, and moaning from pleasure in my minds. He told me that it wasn't so good as I think, that I was much better, but I'm still thinking that maybe he done it, because he see women as black little holes to make love, not as persons. I'm feel so hurtful. How can I forgive him as I promised to do?

[pacodemil]

If you can't then you can't. Why should you have too? you can try but if it is too much for you then you have every right to remain upset over it. If he can't understand then maybe he shouldnt have done this to you in the first place.

[Angel_baby]

A lot of the time it is very difficult to forgive and continue a relationship with someone that has cheated on you. The trust is gone completely, you were lied to, you feel betrayed and you continue to wonder what they found better in the other person that they had to cheat on you for.

 

There is no relationship if there is no trust. If that trust can't be built back up then it is best to get out of this relationship as it is going to head for disaster in the end.

 

Just because you promised him that you would forgive him doesn't mean you can. And by no means does it mean you have to. If you can't, you just can't.

You deserve to be treated with respect. You deserve to be treated with love. What he has done is disgusting and he doesn't deserve you.

Think about this also, you wouldn't hurt and cause him this much pain by cheating on him would you? He obviously didn't even stop to think how much this would hurt you. How he thought he could "get away" with it...

 

Another thing to think of is do you trust him never to cheat again?

 

I hope things get better for you *hugs*

[lostandhurt]

The forgiveness you speak of is for you not him. You are the one that is carrying all the pain around not him. Angel Baby is right (HI Angel) loss of trust and this kind of betrayal is something that might haunt your relationship for very long time. This might be a promise you will have to break. Here is a thread I did some months back, it might help.

 

 

lost

[ZeldaPrinces]

Why go back with him? You seem like a kind person, easily forgiving, but I don't think he deserves your kindness. It seems he only sees you as something he can have sex with, or receive pleasure from, and you are so much more than that!