why is it that...

[nuance]

When breaking NC a couple of times, mind you its coming to about 3weeks of this early stage, when I hear the call ring into voicemail it makes me feel a little bit better? I find myself anticipating he wouldn't pick up, or even call back, and to hear it going unanswered makes me sort of feel like "yep everyone was right about NC..now I can get back to what I want to do". But is it really a trap pattern?

[Caterina]

I'm not really sure. Maybe b/c you're going through a change, it feels more normal that you get to hear his voice, even if its just a voicemail. It gives the illusion that he's still around, which is comforting...thats my guess. Its not good for you, trust me, full NC is the best, always the best. No choices are easy, but NC is the best.

[nuance]

I'm not really sure. Maybe b/c you're going through a change, it feels more normal that you get to hear his voice, even if its just a voicemail. It gives the illusion that he's still around, which is comforting...thats my guess. Its not good for you, trust me, full NC is the best, always the best. No choices are easy, but NC is the best.

 

Ya full NC is the mantra around here, but with the break being so fresh and me being stubborn, I feel I get comfort in hearing it ring and ring..and kno in my hed he won't pick up. Even during the relationship he wouldn't always pick up right away so I feel like nothing has really changed only the fact that this time its definite he won't call back. I feel justified somehow when he doesn't pick up.

[Caterina]

Yeah, its definetly early> But start looking over what you just wrote. You can't allow yourself to continue in this pathetic state...we all go through it, the low self esteem, the desperation...but you're going to have to move on to healthier, better things where you're drinking coffee with a man who wn't ignore your phone calls but instead looks in your eyes and you feel safe.