My 'new' life.

[Alezia]

Well, I finally reached my breaking point. I do love my boyfriend very much but he has no intentions of marrying me in the near future. He has absolutely no timeline. He just wants all the benefits of a married life without commiting himself.

 

I left at around 11pm last night. I stayed over at my parents, in the basement. That was a bad move - I made a really bad allergic reaction. My eyes were so itchy this morning and my nose runny. It really wasn't funny.

 

My boyfriend is going to take care of my son for the remainder of the week. I'm hoping I will be able to take care of him during the weekend. Mama wants to spend some time with her little boy too. I will admit he is a good daddy, so shared custody is fine with me.

 

I have to go back tonight to pick up more of my things - all my clothes, etc.. anything light and useful that I will need for the remainder of the week. I am not going to move my desk/table until I find a permanent place to stay.

 

Some time apart is going to be enjoyable. He made his choice

[Alezia]

I got through the first day. Now rinse and repeat for 364 more.

 

I am not happy that he is not able to answer my phone calls regarding our son. It would be one thing if we were not parents together, but now it is completely different. He cannot be selfish and ignore me. (I'm still not at the point of calling on cops on him for kidnapping but if he doesn't eventually then I will have to)

 

I did not go pick-up my belongings yesterday as I didn't feel he was courtious enough. He still has yet to answer my e-mails / phonecalls. I am in desperate need of a change of clothes etc... (I at least went to buy a toothbrush yesterday - that was wayyy too gross).

 

I guess his desire for not marrying me is bigger than his desire for being together.

It's going to be a tough road.

[Alezia]

Points to cheer me up:

 

1. I can do what I want, whenever I want.

2. I don't need to lose my income because he makes a bigger salary.

3. I don't have to go to bed at 11pm if I don't feel like it. My pillow isn't insomniac!

4. I can leave any mess on the floor and pick it up later.

5. I don't need to clean up after others.