Frustrated with after the fact confessions!

[onewithbooks]

Well the subject line pretty much says it all. I am so frustrated with the whole liking another person scene. This past weekend I had a long time friend make a confession to me. It was that he wished he has stuck around after my last breakup so that when the time was right he could have seen if there was a chance that he and I could have make it work.

 

It blew me out of the water. We have always been good friends, from the day we met in fact. We have always been fairly affectionate with one another. I honestly thought there was nothing between us but friendship. I only once raised an eyebrow to the possiblity of something more but then realised we were just too good of friends and I was being silly.

 

Now I find like two years later, he has always found me attractive and often wonders "what if".

 

I am a bit frustrated because this isnt the first time this has happened to me. Its happened like 3 or 4 times before. I dont understand why I am so clueless to seeing the interest, or why they wait so stinking long to tell me.

 

Has anyone else experienced this?

[soul_soother]

Ya to be honest, the more of a pain is when your just trying to be a "good friend" to someone because they are in need, and they end up having feelings for you because of that. My friends and I would talk about how easy it seems to get girls these days, if you just actually listen to them, I guess listening isn't a guy trait or something? I love helping people and those who need someone when no one else is. So they end up liking me, and then I have to ween them off me so I don't defeat the purpose in me helping them.

 

I guess all the lectures I give about "you'll find that guy the one that just makes you feel great inside and you know you'll be way happier with him", make them feel like that one guy is me, because I make them feel good lol. It happens a lot and makes things a little awkward and harder to deal with. Plus I don't really like when people say "I've liked your for 2 years".

[DaBladeRoden]

Welcome to men. Enjoy your stay.

[Maya_A]

A suggestion: if you ever think there may be a romantic opportunity between you & someone, try bringing it up yourself...

[onewithbooks]

Thank you! Yes! This is what I am talking about. I don't care much for that line either. I mean a few months is one thing, but years?

 

 

 

 

 

This line made me laugh! Thank you for that.

 

 

 

Like I said, for me it was a brief flash in the pan thing, and gone in two seconds. I just knew we would be friends and I was ok with that. I never even gave it a second thought. I never dreamed there was any thoughts in that vein going on in his mind. In my mind we were just friends.

[Maya_A]

Like I said, for me it was a brief flash in the pan thing, and gone in two seconds. I just knew we would be friends and I was ok with that. I never even gave it a second thought. I never dreamed there was any thoughts in that vein going on in his mind. In my mind we were just friends.

 

Hi OP,

 

You'd mentioned it has happened as much as 4 times before also, so that is why I say that. Not always I know (some people hide their emotions extremely well) but we can usually tell/guess intuitively if someone likes us as more than a friend....

 

Maybe you wouldn't wait for the other to make the first move. Since it has happened so many times, if you sense that even maybe there is a hint of something & you would be interested also, then why not bring it up or slowly feel it out in that direction. It beats nothing happening at all & hearing about the other person thinking on the opportunity later as you have been frustrated by.