ex broke NC

[matman]

Short story: went out with someone for 8 years, met someone else, went out with her for 8months. We broke up because I couldn't handle a few ex FWBs in her group of friends.

I'm still not over her, I'm still not over my long term partner from before that.

I am going away for a few months, maybe do some travelling, and attempt to forget about my life back here.

 

So, today the one I went out with for a few months, and we broke up 3 months ago tells me nothing has felt right without me in her life since we broke up and she wants to know how I'm feeling.

I started checking her facebook page a while ago and I'm trying to stop myself doing that... but now this. She knows I need my space and that was part of the reason for breaking up but I don't know whether to reply or not. Maybe she's just looking for closure, which I can't truly give, but telling how down I feel most of the time isn't going to help either...let alone the fact that I'm still messed up about 2 girls that I'm not even with.

[ghostgirl116]

if you're not ready to have contact with her, just leave it alone.

 

gg

[DN]

Sounds to me that she may want to get back together. If the issues that drove you apart could be sorted out - would you consider that?

[matman]

if you're not ready to have contact with her, just leave it alone.

 

gg

I feel I should reply out of courtesy but I'm not sure anything I say could help. I tell her how I feel, which is down and confused, it won't help her. I could be cruel to be kind, which will help her in the long run but not necessarily me.

Or...I could ignore it and seem like a b*****d.

 

Sounds to me that she may want to get back together. If the issues that drove you apart could be sorted out - would you consider that?

I'm sure she does but I don't think I can work through it with her. I need to go and be me by myself for a while. I am planning on seeing some of the world for a while just to get away from this kind of stuff.

[ghostgirl116]

was the relationship a bad one, that you wouldn't want to get back with her? or is that you have some things about you, and you need the time, but if she is available much later down the road, you'd want to see her again?

[matman]

was the relationship a bad one, that you wouldn't want to get back with her? or is that you have some things about you, and you need the time, but if she is available much later down the road, you'd want to see her again?

 

Was a good relationship but I came out of a long relationship straight into seeing her, which wasn't good + we split up over the main reason being I didn't like her ex FWBs hanging about in her group of friends, so I ended it. I won't get over this fact thereforee it can never work, which I think is very hard for her to deal with.

If I could get over that it might have been fine but I'm certainly not ready to say as I am not over either of these 2 girls.

[matman]

Thoughts? ...

[doyouloveme]

Maybe you can talk to her about the situation with her ex FWBs? If she really wants to get back together with you, maybe you guys can make it work if she decides to not hang around them anymore? Or is this not an option?

[matman]

Maybe you can talk to her about the situation with her ex FWBs? If she really wants to get back together with you, maybe you guys can make it work if she decides to not hang around them anymore? Or is this not an option?

 

She offered to do that but it would take her away from some of her groups of friends so it's not an option in my ind. I don't 100% believe they will never appear again somewhere.

I'm not going to lower my self esteem to the point where I have to deal with ex FWBs, one nighters, or past kisses hanging about in the social circle. That's a really bad state of affairs to be in where a man who had no interest apart from satisfying his need hangs around.