LDR ~ is real PAIN..

[mo]

Many have been said here about LDR - some said LDR can be sweet and some said LDR can be sour. For me it's absolutely sour, pain and I hate it.

 

I love my woman and we have been together for a year before she left to her home contry in 2007 - I've been there in Aug07, Feb08 and Jun08, all these three trips were just beautiful and enjoyed to be together..

 

During my stay there, I found most time we had our conversation, she touched about her friends living with boy-friends, last visit she mentioned about one of her friends living separate areas with her husband and have afair with other man in their village - this clicked on my heart and asked her "do you do the same when I'm away?"

 

We've a good communication almost daily, but my worries is that since she touched about her friends having afair with other men - I feel like she's also cheating on me - curiosity when I call her 2-3 times without responding or when I hear a voice of man near her or when I hear her voice is different like someone is with her - I sometimes be in temper and shouting on her about this, I think it's my weakness of trust and jelous..

 

Because of above, I feel like wanna end-up our relationship. Dear friends here, what's is your opinion/advise/comments on this situation.

 

Many thanks.

[cuteguyinftl]

I honestly would have to say if you are asking the group what you need to do you already have the answer. Do what you think is right. It might cause great pain for you and/or her. If you stay with her you will always feel lonely with distance. But if you break it off you feel responsible cause she would be crushed...

 

So no easy answer. You just need to say...Is there where I want to be in life. Is this what I thought. Do I have any regrets? Would I change anything? And if you have a strong response of saying yes to one of those questions...Then you know the answer.

 

But your not a bad person what ever path and decision you choose!!!!

[mo]

I would not assume she's having an affair just cause she brought up her friend that was. It's easy to make that assumption since you live at a distance, but you talk all the time, you claim to be in love and you visit her regularly. Many people have ldr's and don't cheat.

 

However, how much longer can you go on with this? Maybe she brought up her friends living with boyfriends to give a hint that she misses that and maybe she does think of breaking up just like you.

 

I think you need to move this relationship forward.

 

 

Thanks Brianna, I discussed with her about my plan that by September08 to bring her to my place - she agreed with me, but the contry I'm staying/working right now need to arrange for visa - usually they only give three months visa, I would prefer to get long stay permit which is not easy - otherwise will be the same thing LDR.

 

If she's also thinking of breaking up - how do I know? Or I should discussed with her? In one occasion I was pretty angry about not pick-up telephone and I said can we just end this relationship - She fall crying and refuse to accept a breaking-up.. Brianna it's difficult.

[mo]

I honestly would have to say if you are asking the group what you need to do you already have the answer. Do what you think is right. It might cause great pain for you and/or her. If you stay with her you will always feel lonely with distance. But if you break it off you feel responsible cause she would be crushed...

 

So no easy answer. You just need to say...Is there where I want to be in life. Is this what I thought. Do I have any regrets? Would I change anything? And if you have a strong response of saying yes to one of those questions...Then you know the answer.

 

But your not a bad person what ever path and decision you choose!!!!

 

Yes it's a no easy decision especially now we've a 7 months old girl.

My worries I can feel/believe + from her words that it's normal to have another boy-friend. I can't stop if she want to do anything bad, but I too don't want to share my woman with other man either..