ex emailed me, is it friendly or is there more?

[kantore]

hey guys,

I got this email from my ex, and after reading it, I am confused. Please help me understand what it means, from your guys point of view. Here is the email, and feel free to PM me if you do not want to share your opinion with the forum.

 

Thanks for your help this is really important to me.

 

Here is her email!

 

Evan,

 

I am glad to hear that you are doing so well, I was a little worried about

you for a minute. I can't believe that you guys already sold the business,

that's great! So what will you be doing and where will you be working now?

That is after you go and play iin South America. That will be such an

amazing experience, how long are you going for and who are you going with?

You will have to tell me all about it, I am so jealous- as I will be

starting yet another hellish term at school.

 

I am really sorry to hear that your Mom may move to Florida, that must be

hard considering you two are so close. At least she will be moving to be

with the rest of her family, I am sure she finds comfort in having them

close by. Have you and your Dad made amends now? You haven't said much

about it since last spring.

 

So you and Justin are getting a place, what happened to Kate? Did they

break up or are they just not living together anymore? It's probably old

news, but I haven't talked to you much. Seems a lot of people are breaking

up lately, Cecily and my brother broke up about a month ago and she moved

out of their house.

 

What are you doing for New Years? Any big plans? I don't know if I even

want to go out, my girls are all going to be with their boyfriends or have

moved out of state- and I am not so sure that I want to spend it with the

guy I am currently dating- I am just not into the whole bar scene anymore.

I don't know if I want to spend $100 to go out and have a mediocre time. I

may just stay in with the cats and dogs, or I might go out with my brother

to some house parties he is dj-ing.

 

I know it's off the subject, but it seems that this past year that you have

grown up a whole lot and come into your own. You are and have been the

single most ambitious person I know, and what I really admire is that you

don't just talk big, but you make things happen. It's funny, but that is

the characteristic that I look for most in people that I have relationships

with. But out of everyone, you have been my biggest motivator. Even though

we stopped talking for a while, your words have stuck with me and made me

push myself to do my best. I don't know why or how you did it, but you

influenced me when no one else could. I guess I am just trying to say thank

you for being such an amazing person. I truly feel blessed to have someone

like you be a part of my life. I am so proud of all that you have

accomplished and I know there is much more to come. I hope that this next

year will out-do the last, and that you have a wonderful holiday season.

 

Say hello to everyone for me - and tell Jeremy that I love him

Hopefully next year we will be able to find the time to see one another and

catch up.

 

Love always,

Lindsy

[just_me]

From the email, it looks to me like she is trying to come back into your life. It seems that what ever you have done has impressed her. My suggestion would be to take it slow. And before making any moves, think about why your relationship ended in the first place.

[Realitybites]

Wonderful email. I wish my ex would think of me that way (lol). It almost sounds as if she's asking for your forgiveness somehow, does she have a reason to? She's tending you the olive branch here to make sure that you are on amicable terms. And that's great! Bad break-ups are a real pain in the neck - and so utterly useless. She's trying to tell you that you really did mean a lot to her, and that she really still cares. But that doesn't mean she wants to be involved with you romantically anymore - it might, but not necessarily. She did mention her date, and that's a give-away.

 

If I were you, I would send back as grand an olive branch as she has to you - but don't get romantic. Be friendly, warm, and tell her how good it felt to read her email. And then leave it. If she wants more, I'm sure she'll let you know.

 

If nothing else, then you can at least congratulate yourself on your wise choice of (ex-) partners. She sounds like a mature and warm person. This could be the time to lay the foundation of a great friendship if that's what you want. Or more. But again let her take the lead, because you could end up scaring her off, and losing a future friend.

 

Hope this helped.

[paul475]

..to everything that's been said so far, but don't take the bait.

 

Whatever the two of you had before, it wasn't enough to keep the boat floating, for whatever reason. Things need to be pruned back if there's to be any new growth. The form of relationship you are interested in may die as a result, but that's how we find whom we are looking for.

 

And then there are times when people just want another opportunity to stick the knife in and twist it, particularly when it looks like they are hurting more than you are. They don't consciously plan to do this, generally speaking, but that's the way it turns out.

 

So don't waste whatever good will the two of you have left. Move on. If she really loves you and cares for you, she will move on, too...and then the two of you will find one another again and it will be better than it's ever been before!