james_sx11 Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 I’m a bit curious – if you asked someone on a second date and they said they were too busy so might have to raincheck how would you take that? I see it as a nice way of saying “no” LOL. Is it worth pursuing..? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeStrongBeHappy Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 People usually say 'rain check' when they want you to call later... But if you've called and been turned down a couple more times after this with no attempt to re-schedule things (i.e., they don't counter with a how about Sat. instead of Fri.), then you can take it as they are making an evasive gesture and are not that interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 If the person is really interested they won't just say they will take a raincheck...they will make sure to indicate other times that they would be free for the second date. If they don't show a clear indication of when they would like to schedule the second date, I would suggest not pursuing..the ball would be in their court. Some women (and men) like to have the person chase so they will play these "I am busy" games in the hopes the person will continue to pursue. You don't need someone who plays games like that. If they are sincerely busy and are sincerely interested, they will make sure to let you know that they definitely want to set up an alternative day to meet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james_sx11 Posted July 14, 2008 Author Share Posted July 14, 2008 Nah I just said no worries and left it at that – no contact since… Though it did all go well on the first date, there was a kiss and we did text each other a couple times after it. Her RainCheck comment came mid last week when I asked her if she wanted to do anything on Saturday – she is a teacher and said she had to teach on Saturday so might have to raincheck. My guess was she would have got in touch at some point if she was interested but nothing so I dunno wheter to send out a feeler maybe even just a “hey hows things text”. Or just forget it. I will leave it up you guys to decide LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 Nah I just said no worries and left it at that – no contact since… Though it did all go well on the first date, there was a kiss and we did text each other a couple times after it. Her RainCheck comment came mid last week when I asked her if she wanted to do anything on Saturday – she is a teacher and said she had to teach on Saturday so might have to raincheck. My guess was she would have got in touch at some point if she was interested but nothing so I dunno wheter to send out a feeler maybe even just a “hey hows things text”. Or just forget it. I will leave it up you guys to decide LOL You could try again but don't expect an enthusiastic response. If she was really interested she would have contacted you to re-schedule a second date. Why is she teaching on Saturday? Is she teaching ALL DAY and ALL EVENING! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james_sx11 Posted July 14, 2008 Author Share Posted July 14, 2008 Yeah you're right. She lives in a different city by the way – its only 30 miles away though. I had asked her to come to my city as our first date was in hers. Anyways what you sais makes sense. Shame/weird though cause we got on real well and the first one went very well. I should add the reason why I was going to ask again is cause I’m in her city on the weekend for work and thogh could ask her if she wanted to meet up after. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MushroomGod Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 There is no harm in trying again. Rules, rules, rules as in "if they don't re schedule than thet're not interested." I'm sick of that being a blanketed assumption because its not always the case. this soon into dating someone there is no harm in pursuing. I think people on here have missed out on relationships because of this advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 There is no harm in trying again. Rules, rules, rules as in "if they don't re schedule than thet're not interested." I'm sick of that being a blanketed assumption because its not always the case. this soon into dating someone there is no harm in pursuing. I think people on here have missed out on relationships because of this advice. Actually, that isn't a rule...that is called COURTESY! The so-called "rules" also known as "games" are the ones which have men and women counting the days before they respond and trying not to show too much interest even if they are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james_sx11 Posted July 14, 2008 Author Share Posted July 14, 2008 So what’s the concensus – should I or shouldn’t i? Votes please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaoticbaby Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 what if they really were just busy?? you only asked one time, so who knows? i'd say try one more time, and if you get another excuse, then give it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james_sx11 Posted July 14, 2008 Author Share Posted July 14, 2008 Well usually I can tell a brush off and I’ve given enough of them out in my time lol. It was the use of the word raincheck that confused me. Why not just say I’m busy teaching, sorry … I have nothing to lose really, my ego can take a negative response should that be the case ! I will leave it till mid week though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MushroomGod Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 No call in the raincheck right away and aske her out again. Then you'll know the answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james_sx11 Posted July 14, 2008 Author Share Posted July 14, 2008 I’m not sure whether to sound her out first today – maybe a text, and see what her response is like.. and then ask later in the week. Or just wait till Wednesday or something and say im in town on Saturday if she wants to meet up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MushroomGod Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 Naw do it right away waiting makes it harder. I've been there trust me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james_sx11 Posted July 14, 2008 Author Share Posted July 14, 2008 LOL. I can’t ask a girl out for the weekend on a Monday … it’s a bit early in the week I’d say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MushroomGod Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 Ask her out for tomorrow, an early dinner or drinks. You'll have better luck going out with her during the week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 Nah I just said no worries and left it at that – no contact since… Though it did all go well on the first date, there was a kiss and we did text each other a couple times after it. Her RainCheck comment came mid last week when I asked her if she wanted to do anything on Saturday – she is a teacher and said she had to teach on Saturday so might have to raincheck. My guess was she would have got in touch at some point if she was interested but nothing so I dunno wheter to send out a feeler maybe even just a “hey hows things text”. Or just forget it. I will leave it up you guys to decide LOL you had a specific day in mind. she was busy. you could have suggested she contact you when she will have some free time. then it's up to her to show her interest back. that's what i'd of done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james_sx11 Posted July 14, 2008 Author Share Posted July 14, 2008 As I say – she lives in a different city, so during the week what with work I can’t get through till around 8/9ish (and have to leave around 12) without thinking ahead. I’m there on Saturday anyways… which is why it would suit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james_sx11 Posted July 14, 2008 Author Share Posted July 14, 2008 you had a specific day in mind. she was busy. you could have suggested she contact you when she will have some free time. then it's up to her to show her interest back. that's what i'd of done. Very true. But i didnt! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james_sx11 Posted July 14, 2008 Author Share Posted July 14, 2008 well the bombs away guys. Lol. Ill let you know what happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingSolo Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 Don't schedule for tomorrow if you call today. Sounds way too eager. Shoot for Wed. on. I agree about the weekend though, I would usually wait until Wed. at the earliest unless you have been dating for awhile, which then I think it would be fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james_sx11 Posted July 14, 2008 Author Share Posted July 14, 2008 no. I just asked her how her weekend was, will see if she bites and i can gauge her position from there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyingSolo Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 good move. You should be able to feel it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james_sx11 Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 no reply. not looking good LOL > oh well... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
james_sx11 Posted July 15, 2008 Author Share Posted July 15, 2008 What do you know she replied. Quite a nice chatty text to... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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