cheating girlfriends

[starblubber]

Ok I posted in here a few days ago about my girlfriend breaking up with me but saying she still loves me and wants to be with me someday but doesn't know if or when. The past week I've been in limbo land cause I had no idea what I should do, if I should move on or wait. I've been so depressed and havn't eaten in 7 days basically.

 

Today I find out my ex has been cheating on me and is allready back with her ex from a year ago. She couldn't even be honest and tell me to my face or even over the phone. I had to find out from the guys mom that she's with right now. Why not just be honest? She was using me keeping me on the sidleines in case it didn't work out with him. My question is how can somebody be so heartless with my feelings? I've been nothing but a good guy to her and her daughter.

 

I just don't understand women like this. Yes she had a kid with that guy but he's never been a dad and he's been the biggest arsehole in the world to them. It takes more to being a dad than getting a girl knocked up and coming around sleeping with her every now and then. I've been there for 7 months raising that kid like she was my own and this is the thanks I get. She couldn't have even been honest? 1 week later and he's allready living with her. wow!

 

I was depressed the past week now I'm just angry.

[SwingFox]

I am sorry to hear your story, starblubber. And I am even more sorry for the hurt that she brought you. Yes, I agree that she has been very inconsiderate to you and as far as I am concerned even mean. I would suggest that you forget about her as soon as possible and start a healing process. You really do not need a woman like that.

 

As for you being played on. Please be advised that not all women are like that. If you ever get serious with a woman again, give her the full benefit of the doubt and give her full confidence. I know that this is very hard, because your feelings have been in hurt in the past. But you cannot stay in the past and dwell over it. I am telling you that THAT won't make you happy.

 

Why she wanted to be with him? What he has to offer? That you have so much more to offer? Unfortunately, starblubber, love has its funny ways. Some things are just beyond understanding. Don't worry too much over it anymore.

 

I wish you good luck with your healing process....

 

~ SwingFox ~

[sean91607306444]

i knew thats just what she was doing...whenever they say they 'need space' or time to think things out,they have already thought things out and are to much of a coward to tell you to your face,and it really wouldnt make it any better.i just got dumped before new years,and now shes moving in with some nimrod at the end of the month,she wont even talk to me,the fact is that she met this (censored) online while she was with me,but shes such a manipulating pathological liar,that she would choose a firing squad over telling the truth.and the funny thing is that she will be back,this ex of hers just comes home until he gets cold feet and doesnt want to be a dad anymore,and he knows that she will always be there for him,much like she thinks you will always be there for her....so dont worry she will get hers again and again from this joker.people like that have no right having kids.what you did was a good thing regardless of being used,because either way if you knew from the start youj would have helped with the kid,but shes no friend,dont let her manipulate you when she comes crying again...stand tall bro,,,kick that (censored) to the curb !!!!!!

[NEBO]

As for you being played on. Please be advised that not all women are like that.

 

yes they are.

forget the (censored) as quickly as u can mate.

never open up to women, never get soft to women, or you'll lose them, they won't want u anymore.

with your next woman (because you are NEVER going to talk to your old (censored) again!!!!), always prioritize yourself first. always be prepared to walk away, NEVER back down if she gives u (censored) or makes unrealistic demands of u. stand your ground, speak your mind, and be prepared to walk away from her.

i'll guarantee you she'll love you forever for it.

 

live and learn mate, you'll be alright.

unless you can learn to get another woman QUICKLY, so that you never worry too much about the one your currently with, no woman will want to stay with you. they'll leave you for a Alpha Male. "Oh, but it just happened!" my (censored) .......

 

Look on the bright side, lucky the censored) didn't get pregnant AGAIN to her Super-Dooper, then tell you that it is YOUR child to keep you roped in as a provider. Estimates are that as many as 10% of children have no genetic relationship with their alleged fathers.

 

(censored) ....ALL of them

[SwingFox]

Sean, Nebo,

 

I understand your opinions and concerns in full. But I would like to point out that this forum is not meant to spill out swear words left and right. You CANNOT call people names here.

 

As for Nebo, I also strongly recommend you to avoid generalizing. You cannot generalize entire sexes, races, religions or other groups. Please, if you would like to spill your thoughts, keep it on topic, without generalizing.

 

I am sorry to explain to either of you that I will start to moderate your postings (i.e. delete!) on sight, if I see this abuse of swear words again. We are trying to help people with specific cases here. Swearing does NOT add to that.

 

Don't get me wrong: I do hope to see more postings from you. I just hope that your next postings will be sent in an orderly manner. Thank you for your suggestions and your points of view.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[mermayd]

Thank you, swingfox. I am right there with swingfox. He is right. there is no reason to be so abusive in your language and no reason to generalize as you have. I, too, will be watching your posts. Your opinions are important to give all a more broad veiw, however, please just word them differently to avoid this problem. and I would like to add... there are caring, warm women out there.

[starblubber]

I'm going to try really hard to be able to keep my heart open and trust again, I just know if I can after being hurt like this a couple different times, I serioulsy don't think I could go through this again.

 

Yesterday my ex called me for no apparent reason other than to just say stuff to hurt me. I told her to never call me if the guy she's with now cheats on her and she said she wont cause she could never go back to me after being with him. Ouch. Then she said her daughter doesn't miss me. I don't understand why she's saying stuff to hurt me even more? I honest to god was such a good guy and gave 110% to this relationship and all my heart and soul. I can't think of one mean thing I've ever said or done to her to deserve these little cheap shots. Why is she trying to hurt me even more? Is she trying to provoke me into a fight or osmething so she won't feel guilty or soemthing? I have no idea. This is so confusing and hurts!

[knightbear]

my god boy be a man .....that why you dont have her now ...you act like a boy and ex gets the girl ...do you understand that she wanted a real man..and thats not you...but its not to late for your next lady

[joeamerican]

starblubber:

please man just let her go!. picture her as a balloon that sliped away.

be glad that your not legally tied to her (kids or marriage).

examine her story here a little bit she had a kid by this guy. birth controll and abortion are just too easy.

some women use childbirth to hold on to a man. they know we'll be around for 18 years in some form.

and her emotional behavior (calling you to bash you) sounds like her fantasy is not playing out for her.

she's striking out but she dos'nt dare strike at her fantasy man. she needed you to patch up her heart after this guy hurt her. and now all healed up and strong she ready for round 2 or 3, 4, 5. she is rapped up with this guy and wont let go. Do you know how many times shes gone back to him? if its more than twice dont get involved with any women like that. think twice about women that have kids with a man. listen to way she talks about her girlfriends boyfriends, husbands, or EXs. that talk is almost never guarded and will give you insight on how she thinks of men. women can do more to a man than just rip his heart out

child support, child custody, and divorce can and will turn a mans life into a

personal HELL!!.

[bzborow1]

I agree with the moderator's post on here. I think you need to get away from her, she obviously isn't worth your time anyways. I'm in a situation just like yours, our relationship was five years but the difference is the same. A lot of women (men too) are weak. What I mean is that they want to have their cake and eat it too. They want you to be there for emotional support while she goes out with other guys.

 

Another thing. If you decided she is worth your time, and you could even trust her enough to see her again, you gotta give her a reason to reflect on her actions. If you are okay with her going off with another guy, that is to say you just say immediately friends is ok, you haven't given her a reason NOT to do it. Thus, if you're there for her, in her mind, there's less guilt because you're accepting her behaviour.

 

In addition. If you just decide to "wait" for this girl, and not cast her away and make her come back and try for you, then be prepared for a life of "tolerance".

 

I tried to be the nice guy with my ex, but it just doesn't work. They will suck all your energy using you as a means to reduce their guilt. And if they have no guilt, why do you even care if she exists?

 

If you're not prepared to close the deal with your ex. You at the very least need some time alone from her, to regain yourself mentally. That is, delete her from your MSN Messanger, stop calling her, etc....at least for a while (or perhaps until she FINDS YOU, and tries everything in her power to make things right). If she wants you, these obstacles will not stop her.

 

Good luck.

[todempoll]

move on man. if she's cheated on you once, forget her. you and your feelings are way to important to you. she doesn't deserve you. there are plenty of women that want a man to raise their daughter. and don't ever take her back, no matter how hard she begs. you are first in your life, the only person you accommodate to is you. you should get your heart off your sleve, put it back inside of you where it belongs and don't ever give it to anyone. women can be the root of all evil, don't let it happen to you. pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get on with your life. i'm sure you're not hung up on the fact that you lost her, but more hung up on the fact that she cheated on you and betrayed you, but that's ok, you're a guy. that's how guys feel. don't see her, talk to her or have any type of contact with her for 1 month and you'll be so far past it, i assure you that.

-cheers mate

[TLS]

Sorry to hear your story starblubber. Instead of being sad and angry, you should be releived. Don't let one woman put you down. From your story; to me this lady is selfish. I think what she saw in you was an honest, loyal and supporting man she can dwell on. I've ran into tunnel vision women before. Trust me man, she added a lot of wight to your finish line. You'd be much better off without her. Hey, you live and you learn. If anything, this situation is going to make you stronger. I know it's hard but good things do happen to good people. Be patient and wise. Take care of yourself bro.

 

RULE: ONE STRIKE YOU ARE OUT.

RULE: FEAR WINS OVER LOVE (with majority).

[400blows]

starblubber, so sorry to hear about this situation. The truth is she may not even know why she does what she does, which isn't to say she shouldn't be held responsible for her actions, she definitely should realize how she hurt you and maybe she will change. But your being good and nice and kind can't change her and can't change her unhealthy pattern of being abused.

i think you are the real man in this relationship. everyone is saying how you shouldn't wear your heart on your sleeve and how you should be the alpha male, but if being a true man is being cold, and unloving, and unloveable...who would want that? I don't understand why some women do what they do. Maybe they are looking for a more aggressive men, could be true actually. I'm not sure.

but be true to yourself above all. and do not let people hurt you. you should move on and stand up for yourself but don't become too cold and hardened in the process. there is probably a good balance, where you will find happiness.

bottome line is that it sucks. it hurts. i have experienced from my girlfriend who i just found out was cheating on me three days ago. it is a terrible pain and I am struggling with knowing how to move forward

[myJoy]

reading this post makes me wonder why i'm not as mad as i should be about my ex cheating on me. when she had confessed, i didn't even show any sign of rage or defeat. we broke up after she confessed, & she's now moved in w/ her new bf. its been a month now.

 

til this day, i am still not angry at her when i know i should be. i've also met the guy couple of times in the past, as he is one of her co-worker. i know i love her more than anything, & want her back. she still calls me at least once a week.

 

could it be that i am still in shock, or denial? she's already living w/ him. what is wrong w/ me? why can't i feel the rage & anger inside me?