Anger- a year later

[Bdhod1]

I will be 1 year since my divorce on July 20th. I can remember that day better than my wedding aniversary for some strange reason. It took me a long time to get to anger. I posted right after my divorce and was still trying to empathize and understand my ex husband who cheated on me, had alcohol problems and used me financially for 6 years as he was in bankrupcy. But now I don't try to empathize any more. I feel angry. I am living in a house that I never intentened to live in by myself and pay the mortgage for by myself. But in this market I am having trouble selling it. So because I still have this house I still am dealing with the the broken promises of the marriage. Im sure he thinks I have it good because I assumed the house after the divorce. The 5% that was put down in the house was done souly by me, the house was souly in my name and I had done thousands of dollars of renovations, so he agreed to let me have it. I agreed because I wanted out of the marriage once he was unfaithful and he had no desire to work on the marriage anymore.

 

So I am posting because I am still angry. Eventhough I am blessed to have a new boyfriend who is wonderful, I have a stable job and am not in financial crisis. I will be very happy when I have gotten rid of the last complication of our marriage....I house to large and too expensive for me.. I know I should count my blessings as I have to no children with him....my heart goes out to those who have had broken promises made to them who have children.

 

B.

[keenan]

Here's to finally getting to Anger! Congratulations.

 

It took me a long time to feel angry, too (why do we so often go to empathy in cases of infidelity??), but when it rushed in it was very powerful! Am still trying to channel the flood properly, lol...meaning trying not to get myself, wonderful new BF, or my friends all wet!

 

Good luck selling the house--that feels wonderful, too, even if you have to sell it for less than you'd hoped.

 

Hang in there, and stay dry!

[Bdhod1]

Thanks for the reply, I know it seems kind of petty but all I can say Is that I know I am feeling the anger. I ran 3 miles tonight because I knew I had too...I felt depression creeping in and frustration from the recent complications with my house. I have had a series of mechanical break downs above the norm. ( too boring to get into but this house has given me more than my share of grief...all since the ex has left) But I will handle it....I keep telling myself the problem will get solved.

 

My advise to anyone going through pain...run.

 

B.

[keenan]

yeah. i had major roof leaks, a furnace breakdown, a hot water heater issue, a broken clothes dryer, some nasty sewage plumbing thing, termites, and RATS...all in a pretty nice house (but an old Victorian) and all in the year after my ex left. it stinks to deal with that stuff by yourself, both financially and logistically. i'd never had to do it all alone, and so the house was a constant reminder that "it's just me, babe." kayaking is pretty good, too.