please, help me I am freaking out

[lrw301jl]

Hello everyone,

 

I am freaking out right now because I think the girl that I am kind of dating might be pregant. I don't know what to do. We had unprotected sex last Thursday and I came inside of her. I really didn't mean to. I was just caught in the moment. I know that is not excuse for having unprotected sex. I know that is mostly this is my fault, but I think she should have some of the responsibility on this. She told me that she suppose to have her period like last Friday or Saturday. She still hasn't had it yet. We went to the clinic to get the morning after pill called Plan B on Saturday. Just to make sure that she doesn't get pregant. She is not talking to me right now because she is really mad at me. I understand why she is mad at me. I didn't mean it at all. She says that sometimes she is two or three days late on her period. I hope she is not pregant. I just can't take this right now. Is really driving me crazy and plus in fact that she doesn't want to talk to me. She told me that she doesn't know that wants to talk to me anymore. How do I salavge this relationship with her, if everything ends being alright. I really hope so because I can't be father right now. I want to hear everyone's input on this and please be honest. Thanks,

 

lrw301jl

[avman]

Well, there lies the moral for using protection. I hope you will use condoms from now on since you see how easy it is to get caught "in the moment" Also, withdrawal is a terrible form of birth control so do not count on that either.

 

You'll have to wait and see on the pregnancy. If she is indeed pregnant then you will have to own up to your responsibilities as a father. If not, treat this as a strong lesson learned. I would imagine she is as terrified as you are - if not more so. You'll have to do a lot of apologizing, begging, and groveling - but I suspect once the anxiety dies down your relationship will get better (IF she's not pregnant).

 

For now, I think giving her a little bit of space might be a good idea. Also you should let her know that you are there for her 100% regardless of whether she is pregnant or not. At least then she will realize she is not facing this all alone. Maybe that will ease her mind enough to talk to you more.

 

avman

[ameliamolly]

My opinion...You already know that you should have been using a condom but she is as responsible for this possible pregnancy as you are. She could have told you "no condom-no sex" but she didn't.

 

She might be mad at you now, but it also could be that she is worried about being pregnant and having thoughts about that.

 

"I hope she is not pregant. I just can't take this right now. Is really driving me crazy and plus in fact that she doesn't want to talk to me. She told me that she doesn't know that wants to talk to me anymore. How do I salavge this relationship with her, if everything ends being alright. I really hope so because I can't be father right now."

 

Did you tell her the above words? If so that could mae her angry with you and make her not want to pursue the relationship any further. If she is pregnant will you be sticking by her for it? If not, then you need to question if this relationship is really important to you. If you will be sticking by her you might make her feel better by telling her that you will be there for her no matter what and see where it goes from there.

[Beec]

Well, if you want to salvage your relationship the absolute wrong thing to do is tell her you do not want to be a father right now. The girl is possibly pregnant and you are the guy, you are supposed to be the man: the one who will stand by her side and take care of everything; the guy who teaches and is an example for tohers on how to be responsible for his acts. Yes, she knows how you feel, but she also needs to know that if she is pregnant that you will be a man who is ready to step up and be a father and love the baby, if she has one. I know plenty of pro-choice women who could never make that choice and some who have regretted choosing not to have a baby. I also know a guy or two who paid for one and that ended the relationship each time. She is mad at you for cumming inside her, but pulling out is no guarantee she won't get pregnant, but she may also be ready to run away because you are not being the man you should be, even if she has since had her period. Be a man, if you want to save the relationship.

[The Morrigan]

Ok hon, I'll spare you the lecture a bit here.

 

At least you had the sense to go and get the morning after pill with her (you did go with her, right?)

 

So there's a good chance she isn't pregnant - this time.

 

You want to salvage anything with her - give her a little time to cool off herself, since I'm sure she also feels she just had a narrow escape and is doing some heavy thinking herself. She just got herself in a position to get pregnant by a guy (you) who she doesn't even have a firm relationship with, I'm sure she's not in the best frame of mind to hear your fears at the moment. She's likely angry with herself as well as you right now - similar to what you should be going through. A harsh reality check. When you sit down and talk, make sure you take your share of the responsibility, and talk about what you've learned from this. And seriously consider other types of sexual intimacy with someone you're not in an actual relationship with - a child is a tie that can't be broken, not what you want with someone you're not certain enough of to be in a committed relationship with.

 

If it turns out she is pregnant despite the morning after pill - you're going to have to sit down with her and talk as well - and not about how little you want to be a father, either. She shouldn't have to handle this on her own, whether or not you had deeper intentions towards her or not, she at least needs to know you'll be up for handling your end of the decision making, and should she choose to have the child, you're not going to bail on her. That doesn't mean a child is a reason to jump into getting married - but she should be able to count on your support as far as going through the pregnancy and being actively involved in your child's life. For better or worse, there's no such thing as "can't" be a father if you've managed to get her pregnant - if it comes down to it, you can and you will. Panicking at this point is NOT going to help your situation any. Get a grip, don't bring yourself to the point of hysteria before you have to, right now, deal with it as it comes, since at the moment you don't even know what you're dealing with.

 

For now, tell her regardless of what happens, you'll be available to talk to her about what she's going through, and what she wants to do, when she's ready to talk it through with you. Be interested, be responsible, and available, but don't pressure her; just make it apparent you do want to know what happens, and want to talk things through with her, either way.

[lrw301jl]

Hello all,

 

I just want to thank everyone for your response. I think everyone kind of mistaken me for not wanted to be responsible for my action. I totally understand the actions that I have taken and I will step up whatever the outcome of the situation. I am just saying that I should known better having unprotected sex. I am just mad at myself, although there is nothing I could do now or say to her that make her feel better. I told her that everything will be alright. We are talking right now because I like I said before she is really mad at me and probably really mad at herself. I just thinking that if I am this freakout about it. I am just try to imagine what is she going through right now. She doesn't want to talk to me right now. We talk last Saturday when we went to the clinic together. I think just needs me to leave her alone for a little bit. I told her that if she has period, please call me immediately. Although, she hasn't call yet and that is why I am so emotionaly and mentally beat up. I care lot about her and that I want to be with her. No matter what the outcome is. I just hope that she is not pregant because I think that she and I are just not ready to be parents. I am going to do best I can to be there for her. I will respect her wishes whatever they are. I just wondering since she is worried about being pregant could all this worrying and stress cause her period to be late.

 

Thanks,

lrw301jl

[swift44]

The fact that she might be pregnant is alot for her so thats probally why she is mad. Im not going to lecture you because you know your mistake. all i can say is if she is pregnant take care of the child the best you can , if she isnt pregnant than next time you have sex use a CONDOM. but try to talk to your gf after giving her a little space. good luck with your problems and i wish you the best.

good luck.