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His Friends - Not Mine

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I am dealing with this problem, and this is not the first time me and my bf have fought over it. I have girlfriends, but most of them live out of town, and the rest have very busy lives, so I get together with them only 1-2 times a month. I also have a very close family that I spend time with on a weekly basis and several other groups of acquaintances, though I dont spend much of my free time with them. When I do get together with my girlfriends we usually go out, for dinner, a show, shopping, drinks, out. My BF's friends are mostly non ambitious, younger, pretty nice people. Most of them are not people that I would choose as friends. But they come over to our house pretty often anywhere from 1-5 times a week to hang out for the whole evening. Their was a point that it was becoming excessive, but it has been curtailed and is no longer an issue.

There are a few of his friends that I have gotten to know, and I hang out with. Including one of his friends Danielle and her bf Gabe. D&G used to hang out with us ALOT! but they moved out of town and we dont see them much anymore at all.


WELL thats all background. Danielle is having a party tonight for graduating high school, she called last night and invited us. My BF has to work tonight until 10:00. I was talking to him and said, well I may go ahead and go over there and you can meet me, b/c I don't want to wait until 10:00, especially when I want to be home by midnight at the latest. Well he got upset, he said that I would do what I wanted, but that he didn't like the idea. Now WTF, I hang out with your friends, become friends with them, hang out with them as a couple, but I can't by myself. What do you think of this situation?

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I see what you mean - sticky one. Well I think that it's ok for you to go and you shouldn't even need his permission to do so. The thing is - if he expects you to get along with his friends and be accepted by them - then it's shouldn't be a big deal. It's human nature to want to see them again and he shouldn't claim ownership as long as the two of you are together. He's afraid he'll lose them if something happens in your relationship. Do you see the double standard there?


The only time I don't see this as appropriate is if the two of you broke up. It's only fair that the both of you leave with what you came with out of respect.

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