Nihowma Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 My supervisor is a beautiful woman; she has been very supportive and friendly to me. But she often hugs and kisses my cheek in the office to thank my hard work. I know she means no harassment, what should I do to response her over friendly behavior? We are both female. Link to comment
lanty3 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 Is she much older than you? Perhaps she looks upon you in a daughterly fashion. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 welcome to enotalone. have you tried saying something like, 'woah - don't get close to me, i think i'm coming down with a cold?' and see if that works? Link to comment
shikashika Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 does she do it with other people? Do you have a relaxed social work environment? i worked in one place once where people did that a lot... i liked it ... it was nice and familiar. However, if you don't like it, don't hesitate in letting her know. Link to comment
lanty3 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 does she do it with other people? Do you have a relaxed social work environment? i worked in one place once where people did that a lot... i liked it ... it was nice and familiar. However, if you don't like it, don't hesitate in letting her know. That sounds a little TOO relaxed to me. Where did you work? Link to comment
shikashika Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 That sounds a little TOO relaxed to me. Where did you work? in an office...a medical office. Depends on the culture of the country you live in. The world is not solely north american shaking-hands culture! Link to comment
Jen5283 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 How often does she do it? If it's not that much then don't worry about it. If she's doing it all the time then tell her you're not comfortable with so much PDA! (public display of affection) Link to comment
lanty3 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 in an office...a medical office. Depends on the culture of the country you live in. The world is not solely north american shaking-hands culture! Hugging and kissing in a...MEDICAL office. You must have spent alot of time washing your hands. Link to comment
Nihowma Posted June 12, 2008 Author Share Posted June 12, 2008 She does it very quick! I have no chance to reject her!!!! She actually came from a foreign country, I am thinking it maybe a culture matter! Does anyone know if it is the way for her saying “hi”? Link to comment
shikashika Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 Hugging and kissing in a...MEDICAL office. You must have spent alot of time washing your hands. oh jeez.. it was nice and familiar.. one of the best / friendliest places i've ever worked...i don't see why you have a problem with it or seem so 'shocked' about it. Don't you peck your friends on the cheek? My boss did... a guy... and it was just nice.. he was a ggreat family guy too!! Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 depending on where you live, a kiss hello on the cheek is the US equivalent of a handshake. i think in the US, people are a bit more reserved. it's tough when it's your supervisor - that's why i'd recommend saying something like you had onions for lunch or are getting sick, or are sweaty or something, and maybe then they'll get the hint... Link to comment
lanty3 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 oh jeez.. it was nice and familiar.. one of the best / friendliest places i've ever worked...i don't see why you have a problem with it or seem so 'shocked' about it. Don't you peck your friends on the cheek? My boss did... a guy... and it was just nice.. he was a ggreat family guy too!! I`m not shocked by it. A little amused, maybe. But it`s a WORK ENVIRONMENT, a medical office at that. What about germs, hygiene, what about lawsuits, harassment?? Link to comment
Nihowma Posted June 12, 2008 Author Share Posted June 12, 2008 Sometimes, I was just laughing about it! Oh, no! She did it again! Link to comment
lanty3 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 She does it very quick! I have no chance to reject her!!!! She actually came from a foreign country, I am thinking it maybe a culture matter! Does anyone know if it is the way for her saying “hi”? As soon as you see her, extend your arm as far as it will go to shake hands, and say; "Hi, how're you today?". Link to comment
Nihowma Posted June 12, 2008 Author Share Posted June 12, 2008 As soon as you see her, extend your arm as far as it will go to shake hands, and say; "Hi, how're you today?". Her arms are logner than mine. I tried it, it does not work! Link to comment
shikashika Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 I`m not shocked by it. A little amused, maybe. But it`s a WORK ENVIRONMENT, a medical office at that. What about germs, hygiene, what about lawsuits, harassment?? so huggin someone or pecking them on the cheek is going to bring harassment and lawsuits and hygiene??? why is that harassment? nobody there had a problem with it. What kind of lawsuits were you thinking of? Link to comment
lanty3 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 OK then, try to keep something between you, a desk perhaps. Keep something to drink available, when she gets close take a long swig. Learn to duck, bob and weave. Link to comment
lanty3 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 so huggin someone or pecking them on the cheek is going to bring harassment and lawsuits and hygiene??? why is that harassment? nobody there had a problem with it. What kind of lawsuits were you thinking of? Hopefully you have hygiene to begin with. As for lawsuits;better safe than sorry. How about PROFESSIONALISM, do you hug and kiss hello,goodbye, i`m going to the watercooler? Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 hey - let's not get too off topic here! it's not about lawsuits, it's about how the OP should best handle her boss. Link to comment
Nihowma Posted June 12, 2008 Author Share Posted June 12, 2008 depending on where you live, a kiss hello on the cheek is the US equivalent of a handshake. i think in the US, people are a bit more reserved. it's tough when it's your supervisor - that's why i'd recommend saying something like you had onions for lunch or are getting sick, or are sweaty or something, and maybe then they'll get the hint... Thanks for the idea! One day, I brought my lunch filled with sea food and onions. Guess what? She loved my lunch and started to share MY lunch with me and asked me to make another one for her next day! Of course, I made another one for her. Then, she brought more food for everyone few days later plus more hugs, more kisses on the cheek..... Link to comment
JadedStar Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 oh jeez.. it was nice and familiar.. one of the best / friendliest places i've ever worked...i don't see why you have a problem with it or seem so 'shocked' about it. Don't you peck your friends on the cheek? My boss did... a guy... and it was just nice.. he was a ggreat family guy too!! In the workplace this is not appropriate. Whether you were ok with it or not is not the point. People who act this way are in for a rude awakeing. You don't hug and kiss coworkers to show gratitude. Lawsuit waiting to happen. It's ignorant to do this in this day and time. Everyone should be aware of their human resource laws. Better to be aware of it by studying the company handbook then becoming aware swearing on a bible in a courtroom. The OP is a clear cut case of WHY this sort of thing is frowned upon. She obviously is not comfortable with this but because she WORKS for this person a quid pro quo scenario has been created. She feels funny saying anything since this is a superior. She shoudl NOT have to feel funny in the first place because it should NOT be happening. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 Thanks for the idea! One day, I brought my lunch filled with sea food and onions. Guess what? She loved my lunch and started to share MY lunch with me and asked me to make another one for her next day! Of course, I made another one for her. Then, she brought more food for everyone few days later plus more hugs, more kisses on the cheek..... are you good friends with her? maybe you can just tell her in the nicest way possible that you aren't a 'huggy/physical type of person' and would feel more comfortable with a 'good morning'. Link to comment
lanty3 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 hey - let's not get too off topic here! it's not about lawsuits, it's about how the OP should best handle her boss. Hi Annie, sorry for getting off topic, it`s just that threads like this leave alot of room for humor. Link to comment
Nihowma Posted June 12, 2008 Author Share Posted June 12, 2008 are you good friends with her? maybe you can just tell her in the nicest way possible that you aren't a 'huggy/physical type of person' and would feel more comfortable with a 'good morning'. No, I am a new hired employee, she is just my supervisor. Since some co-workers are doing the same way, the company looks it as a "friendly" environment. I felt it is strange, but they are really easy to work with. Link to comment
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