forgiving is freedom

[dollface33]

Hi everyone. I love u all and so grateful I found this site. It's been about 4 weeks now, since he left me. Left what we had and shared and I fell from heaven. I loved him like there was no tomorrow......more than anything. thanks to him I have felt what real love is, I learned it when he left me. I get so sad when I read your storys, so much pain and still we all hope that this person who hurt us will come back. deep inside we hope that. This month has been like hell for me, and suddenly I realized that only love can raise me up again. I love him deeply, but can't express that anymore as I did. He moved on. But someone else needs all my love and care now...ME. Only way to get over this pain is through LOVE.

I tried so much to understand why it happened, searched answers, and every time I was thinking about him or what he did I hurt me more and more. U see, time may heal our pain, but it may take very long time if we constantly feed our anger and pain. he or she has already hurt us, we can't change that anymore, can't change facts, but we can forgive them cause we don't deserve more pain. Forgiving is freedom, and only a free person can heal the memory of hurt and hate. I tried to find excuses why he treated me as he did......and I ended up blaming myself. Did I felt better then? No way. There is no point to think about how to please that person who left us, how to make things better or fix something that we didn't break.. it wasn't our desicion, he or she wanted out.....no matter what the reason was. No matter what they say, don't listen and don't blame you....most important, respect their choice. Not cause of him, but because of you.

Contact or no contact.......it really doesn't matter until we feed us with false hope. Until we love that person more than we respect and love ourselves, we are not gonna get better.

And I'm amazed.....Love is most powerful tool to fix any kind of pain, after u forgive freely and from your heart, u feel it. And it doesn't matter if he or she knows, the fact is , they don't truly care......It's for you and for u only. U will find a peace and now it's up to you.....contact or no contact. Your mind is clear and you are filled with love and respect. They have no power to hurt you anymore. If they want to stay friends....whatever that means though....they should act like friends. If they can't act like friends, though they promised to be there for you....u already know what to do, u are now strong enaugh and this betrayal will not cause u more pain.

And I'm not saying this is easy, it's never easy to lose your partner, your dreams........Everything starts all over again. And maybe he will come back one day. Maybe. But U can't make him. U can't love him more or better if he doesn't want it. It's your time. All u have, give it to only person u always can count on...YOU. Respect and love YOU.

I learned once that love is give and take. But there is really more.....Try believing that love is simply giving. They say "Give until it hurts". Let's say "Love until it hurts no more".

 

And I would like to share one poem I found, so simple but true.......

 

Little Treasuresby Crystal Kniss

A forest of friendship,

A garden of love, An ocean of kisses,

A bushel of hugs A handful of wishes,

A pocket of dreams, A big box of tenderness

Busting its seams

A cozy warm blanket

Tucked up to my ears,

Made of velvet rose petals,

Love letters and tears

A chest full of promises, Drawer full of chances,

A great big red barn

Full of all of life's answers

A little red ribbon

To tie it all up, A buffalo nickel

Stuck in for good luck

This is the present I'll give to myself

The moment you put My love on the shelf

I'm not afraid of not being your pleasure

Cause I've got a little red box full of treasures

 

I love him and always will. But I can't make him love me. And for all of you who feels that just middle of the road, u are left alone with all this love and no one seems to need it anymore.......look inside, this person who desperately needs your hugs and kisses and care is always with you and will never leave you.

 

I love u all, and thank u so much for being here for all of us.

[nurofen]

nice poem.

[Sara_M]

You've got a great attitude -- you're definitely on the road to healing and I'm so glad you shared your inspirational thoughts here for others who are in pain to see.

 

I think we always tend to think that each person we're involved with is "the one." The one we'll spend our lives with forever. But not every person we're involved is meant to be that. Sometimes we have relationships just to help prepare us, so we'll be ready for "the one."

 

Best wishes to you~

 

Sara_M