Rokuma Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Hello, I have been with my girl about a year 1/2 and its been great but some issues have occurred such as i am not doing so well in the sack, At first i was a god to her now its died down. Then today i tried oral for the first time on her and some how she got hurt . NOw i did not bite here or nibble both no no's, she even started to cry, i did too i felt so bad. Me and my girl talked and she said there was not enough foreplay and for a while i thought i was doing good then last night she came out and told me she is not sexually attracted to me any more because i have been doing so bad, witch scares me because i dont want to lose her She means every thing to me, we have had some scares and i am plain out worried that she will lose entrist in me. She says i am a good bf and that she would never leave but how long can we last with no sex? PLEASE HELP ME I WANT TO IMPROVE SO BAD, I ] don't (*,) want to lose her. She said she even wonder if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. PLEASE REPLY to the post below darkpumpkin understand it but then why is she saying that she loves me and still wants to be with me , wait last night she said " i am trying to figure out if i love u as a brother, bf , best friend or what not", I see now i guese me and her need to have a long talk But why would she let sex get in the way I am a awsome guy or so she says and she complains that she cant find a good guy, out there like me as a bf but, if he is good in the sack he might not be a good bf she doesnt understand Though i am new to sex she was and has been my only one so, do i need to learn more by expearance? She was my first. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 uh oh. i'm not sure sex is going to save this. sounds to me like she is ready to move on. Link to comment
Rokuma Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 uh oh. i'm not sure sex is going to save this. sounds to me like she is ready to move on. WHen i said greener she wonder what sex would feel like if i was a different person she says she is not fantasying about any one or thinking of any one but is that a matter time before it happens ? I have tried my best and she some time's is not open because she want me to go and want to know and wants me to ask or that kinda stuff, i am just confused Link to comment
xXPusHedAsiDeXx Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 I can only put it to you bluntly based on what you've told us: The fact of the matter is, it sounds like she's bored and wants more sexual experience with someone else, there isn't much you can do but just ask her to be open and honest with you. Sorry buddy. I've been there done that, I think it's time for you to move on. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 WHen i said greener she wonder what sex would feel like if i was a different person she says she is not fantasying about any one or thinking of any one but is that a matter time before it happens ? I have tried my best and she some time's is not open because she want me to go and want to know and wants me to ask or that kinda stuff, i am just confused exactly my point. she pretty much told you she is having 2nd thoughts about you being her bf. you have to ask and she sometimes just wants you to go? i don't follow. Link to comment
darkpumpkin Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 WHen i said greener she wonder what sex would feel like if i was a different person she says she is not fantasying about any one or thinking of any one but is that a matter time before it happens ? I have tried my best and she some time's is not open because she want me to go and want to know and wants me to ask or that kinda stuff, i am just confused Two options in my opinion. Either get her to work with you about the sex issue or this may just be a case of calling it a day. Unless you both agree to work on it she will just find someone who fits her needs without having to "open up". Which may or may not happen, she may never find someone who "does it right" for her. Link to comment
EQD Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 if you are searching for a bright and sunshiney answer that is going to say 'oh you two are fine' then i dont think you are going to get it. when people start thinking about greener pastures its bad.. when they start talking to the SO's about them.. you are in trouble. no two ways about it. work on it together, or you two are most likely finished. Link to comment
Satsuma Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 Everything she is saying is pointing out that maybe she is done with the relationship such as saying she doesnt know if she loves you as a brother of a boyfriend is a big sign of this. All you can really do is talk to her about this and come to a understanding of the situation, it will really help both of you see what you want from eachother and the future. It will really benefit if you are both on the same level. I know you obviously dont want to hear people say that you should leave her or let her leave you but im afraid this might be the only options available. I hope it works out. Link to comment
oggief Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 It might not be the sex. Sex isn't everything. Your gal might not be happy and responsive in the bedroom because she's not pleased with other aspects of the relationship. A lot of the time disagreements in other areas basically spill over into disinterest in sex. Sex isn't just about the mechanics of bodies and orgasms, its about feeling close. So... talk to her, find out if there's life stuff you can do to make her happy. Buy her some flowers, take her to a movie. Do nice things for her. If she still acts weird, and disinterested then its not you, its her... and you'd be better off with someone else. Link to comment
darkpumpkin Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 That right there is the problem. No matter how you get around it she doesn't even know if she is sexually attracted to you. Those are harsh words and I bet you that when you first got together it was how great of a guy you were that caught her up. Sex is not something that can just "get in the way" if its not there then there is no way to get into. I have never found someone who sexually knew the right moves for me. Probably main reason I could never and have never done a one night stand. For me its about practicing to get better, but I have to want to put that effort in there. If I wasn't sure I cared for you as a brother, best friend, lover I sure couldn't even think of putting effort into a sexual relationship. Personally if she said that I think she's trying to sort out how she really feels about you, and the sex issue is the excuse. Link to comment
Rokuma Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 It might not be the sex. Sex isn't everything. Your gal might not be happy and responsive in the bedroom because she's not pleased with other aspects of the relationship. A lot of the time disagreements in other areas basically spill over into disinterest in sex. Sex isn't just about the mechanics of bodies and orgasms, its about feeling close. So... talk to her, find out if there's life stuff you can do to make her happy. Buy her some flowers, take her to a movie. Do nice things for her. If she still acts weird, and disinterested then its not you, its her... and you'd be better off with someone else. I agree, and we don't have sex much because she doesn't have a high sex drive now i do and i am wanting it all the time my thing is she is complaining about some thing that happens about 5 8 times a month the rest its up to me, so i don't understand how i could get better if i don't have the chance to what's up with that. Is she just being rediculuse> as for other aspecs i have really turned around i stoped playing games working harder and kicking ass she is proud of me so how can it be some thing else i mean just last friday it was all good same on sat and sun, now its like ?/wriest Link to comment
Rokuma Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 On top of that i see that issue that it has to be some thing else and she dosn't want to hurt me GOD SPAIR MY FEELING TELL ME THE TRUTH AM I RIGHT Link to comment
EQD Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 why dont you ask the one person who knows for sure? man up and get in there. Link to comment
Rokuma Posted June 4, 2008 Author Share Posted June 4, 2008 um i am confused what is it you are trying to say? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 um i am confused what is it you are trying to say? you are not serious? ask the person you have all these questions about. Link to comment
knightNshiningarmor Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 one bit of advice....for some women they need more warm up more getting in the mood with kissing touching and all that before oral...its not always the means to the end sometimes with a lot of women they need a warm up even before then...do you have facial hair...if so you need to becareful around the clit...its super sensitive and even to rough of oral sucking licking to hard can hurt...for my girl she really prefers a majority of the stimulation to come from the hood of her clit rubbing against it rather then direct contact and ive found this true with a majority of women i have been with and maybe just a little tickle here and there. i think too many guys go porno on girls yank the hood back and go direct all day and it just doesnt work that way...and remember there are other parts to then the clit thats sensitive really play around with the whole things a little nibble on the thighs but i think the trick is really working your way to there...to refrain from going in toooo much detail what really gets my girl going is before hand i do a little tickle tease...with one finger i gently drag my finger all over her body using a little nail like a light scratch...i know all her sensitive spots and ill hit them slowly but not dwell on them and then keep moving keeping her guessing and slowly ill move down she seems to be really sensitive right below the belt line...its things like this we'll do to get both of us warmed up...although im warmed up by the time our greeting at the door is finished lol. Link to comment
knightNshiningarmor Posted June 4, 2008 Share Posted June 4, 2008 hey rok another good idea is to communicate and have her tell you when something feels good or bad and commit them to memory. Link to comment
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