Ring-a-Ding-Ding

[honeybee52]

Okay, so my bf and I have been madly in love and dating for 5 1/2 years. We are in our early 50s and were both married before, and I have two kids (one out of college, the other a sophomore), while he has no children.

 

We have finally decided to get married in 2009 after some hesitation from him that we wait for the "right time" meaning when my daughter was a little more grown up and some family issues on his end were taken care of.

 

So it was six weeks ago when we agreed that it would happen in 2009, but we aren't really "officially" engaged (ring/date) yet. I have to admit I have been looking at rings myself! I know he let his first wife pick out her own ring, so I'm starting to figure out what I would like (probably an estate ring, so if one comes up that I like, I want to go for it!).

 

Do you think I should bring it up (the part about getting engaged)? If so, what should I say? I don't want to make it into a heavy discussion. In fact, I would like to keep the whole thing very personal and low-key-- as in, eloping and going out a nice dinner, then telling people later. My sense is that he feels the same..........

 

THANKS!!!!!!!!!!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

If you get an engagement ring and start wearing it, then it will no longer be a secret...everyone will start asking you about the ring. I think you should talk to him about setting a date, certainly make sure that this is real and that he does indeed want to get married.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

Yes, good idea to talk to him about setting the date... then once the date is set, ask him about the ring! I think after 5 years you need to discuss it seriously and actually set a date and start making plans, if marriage is what you want.

[honeybee52]

Well last night he started talking about the logistics of moving in together after we get married, and we also talked about the way in which we want to get married (basically, eloping, just the two of us, followed by a romantic dinner and evening away at a b&B). We still need to work on setting a date and thinking about rings, but I feel a lot better after last night's conversation. So-- thanks, crazy & bestrong!