Oh so sad!

[lil_mamarains13]

As I have posted before my bf broke up with me. I am so heart broken and I don't know what to do. I got a 2nd job to stay busy so I can't think about it as much, but I am still thinking about him. I called his Aunt today to wish them Happy Holidays because I knew that I wouldn't get to see them. She said she doesn't know what is wrong with that boy because I am such a good girl, and all his other gf's treated him like crap. That made me cry. I just don't understand why this is so hard for me to accept. I am staying busy, but how do I get him out of my mind while I am working. Anybody have any suggestions.

[JSHRN]

Hi.

 

I am so sorry for your pain around this holiday season. Staying busy is a good way to keep your mind occupied and help soften the blow of your break up. Still, the pain you are feeling is fresh and will take some time getting over. Make friends with people at your 2nd job. If a group is going out after work - join them. Keep your mind as occupied as possible. 2003 has been an awful year for many of here -- here's to 2004 being a better one.

 

Stay strong.

 

JSHRN

[lil_mamarains13]

Thanks for that, and I hope 2004 is a lot better because 2003 has been a living nightmare all year long. I just hope it doesn't get any worse.

[SweetypieEnlightenedOne]

Only time, Time truly does heal all wounds. Staying busy is good. Try to fight the urge to keep calling him. He knows you want him, and you dont need to explain this any more...give him space. Sometimes when a man breaks up with a woman, and she just completely goes about things her, life without him, he wakes up. You need to be patient here and give this thing time to iron itself out. I know this is so much easier said than done, but the more you pull the more he'll run.

 

I want to tell you a story my father once told me, maybe this will help you..

 

"The Wind and the Sun were having a conversation about getting a man to remove his jacket. The Wind bet the SUN a whole season that he would blow the wind so hard that eventually Paul (the man) would have to take off his jacket. The Sun warned the Wind not to do this, but the Wind persisited. The Wind Blew and Blew and Blew and Paul just held on to his jacket tighter and tighter until the Wind gave up. The Sun then came out and warmed Paul up. The warm Sun eventually made Paul remove his Jacket, and the Wind said "I don't get it, how did you do that" The SUn replied, Wind, If you try to force someone to do something they will just resist you even harder, but when you bring sunshine and warmth, they will eventually do what you wanted them to do anyway. "

 

I hope this helps you and anyone else on this forum...

 

Dont blow, he will only pull away and resist you harder. 8)

[lil_mamarains13]

Thank SweetypieEnlightened One. That was very helpful. I have not called him since that day, but I have to on Monday as he requested me to so we can finish some unfinished business. I hope to keep it short and simple unless he wants to talk, but I won't force him. I again will wear a smile on my face it is just time that I am impatiently waiting on. Thanks.

[SweetypieEnlightenedOne]

lil_mam

Dont be so hard on yourself, what you are going through and about to go through for a few days or weeks or months depending on how long it takes you to heal...is normal. Most Men and Women go through this. Especially when someone you love just slips the rug from right under your feet. But you live your life and try to be happy without him. If he comes to his senses then fine, if not then fine, your living you and not waiting on him.

[Michael2]

Hey lil,

 

I know what you are experiencing, and for that I am sorry.

 

As many have stated; time will heal.

 

One tip I have to share is that you have to deal with your pain correctly.

 

One thing that I have realized is that we shouldn't be afraid to grasp and experience the pain that comes along with breakups. Please dont hold your pain in, cry if you can, and cry whenever you feel. Let it.

 

You know how children deal with their pain, they cry instantly, they deal with their emotions. THey cry and cry, and then all of a sudden, seconds later, they are okay again. THat is the way our body heals our emotional pain.

 

Adults tend to hold their pain in. Please dont do that. Let it out, talk to others about it. If you are work, and you feel as if you about to break down, let it out, go to the bathroom, take a minture to yourself, maybe go to your car and just get it out. I promise you, after you cry, you will feel so much better.

 

And , the more you start to udnerstand this pain, and allow it to work through you, your days will slowly bring back happiness.

 

Good luck!

[Pandora]

Hey,

i know exactly how you feel right now. My ex broke up with me less then a month ago and i know all the pain and anguish you have to go through. Like what everyone around here says time will heal all wounds and i'm beginning to see what that means. Everyone heals at a different rate but what ever it is, know that there'll always be sunshine sfter the rain. One thing that have help me through this terrible odeal is music. Listening to music helps a lot. As the saying goes 'let the music heal your soul' may it help to mend your broken heart too. Stay away from pop music though its full of sappy love songs. Your situation is not as bad as mine at least he is willing to talk. All the best and happy holidays...

[Michael2]

You want something to help you through this pain.

 

Its called family and friends.

 

In addition, try some Van Morrison , his Astral Weeks. Amazimg CD.

 

Good luck . You will heal, I promise!