I probably should have known he wasnt looking for anything serious, right??

[confuzed25]

I broke up with my ex 3 days ago because i just wasnt getting what i wanted out of a relationship, and im almost positive he was pursuing another girl. We were only together for 2 and a half months. Basically 2 weeks ago he suddenly became distant with me, and started hanging out a lot with another girl. Well we got into a big fight about it 3 days ago and I walked out without saying goodbye. We havent spoken since. Now the more I think back, the more things I see that I *think* were signs that he wasnt looking for anything serious.

 

1. First off he is only 23 and goes out drinking alot...seems like he is still in play mode.

2. He just got out of a year and a half long relationship 2 months before I met him so he might have just been lonely or looking for a rebound.

3. He has had a 3 year relationship and a 1 and a half year relationship but he has told me that he has never met a girl he felt like he ever wanted to marry or settle down with

4. He has told me that he doesnt even know if he ever wants to get married or have kids

5. I met him through a dating site and his profile said that hes "looking for a fun time and to try new things." Also, when it asked what kind of person he was looking for he said "I am too young and have not dated enough to know what i want."

6. He used to tell me about a couple girls that he felt fell in love with him way too quickly...he said they told him they loved him after like 4-6 months and he broke up with them because it freaked him out

 

I was starting to blame myself for him losing interest and feeling like he wanted someone else...i thought maybe i wasnt good enough, pretty enough, or fun enough. He was really crazy about me in the beginning and treated me so great...i felt like i did something to ruin it. Now Im starting to wonder, because of all the things i mentioned above, if i was just a rebound or maybe he used me because he was lonely. Or maybe he thought he wanted a relationship but then realized he didnt. What do you think??

[arcadefire]

This guy is not what you're looking for. Good thing you broke it off with him before it got too serious. If he was hanging out with another girl without telling you about it, it looks like he's not interested in you.

 

Don't blame yourself for what he was looking for. You can't change this guy's mind if he's looking for fun and nothing serious. Him telling you that some girls that fell in love with him freaked him out is a big red flag that he's looking for something casual.

 

Don't spend any more time thinking about him. Ignore him, he's not worth your time anymore! He wasn't looking for a serious relationship to begin with.

[annie24]

hey - i think you were right in breaking up with him. from what you posted, i agree, doesn't sound like he is looking for a serious relationship right now, and if you are, then he's really not the right guy for you. i also think him spending all that time with that other girl, that wouldn't sit right with me either. hugs. hang in there.

 

look, if i, or your best friend, told you that story, what would you tell me or your best friend to do? you'd say, 'girl, you can do better, find a better guy.' right?

[confuzed25]

right....im just upset i wasted my time. I was doing so well just being single. Right before I met him I remember thinking to myself that I was actually enjoying it. Now I feel so lonely being single and I just miss him so much. I saw SO much potential in him and thats the hardest part. I think once he settles down he will be an amazing husband and father and I feel like I met him at the wrong time, and I will never get another chance with him.

[dream83]

Sounds to me like he's too buys playing around with people and is much more driven by his pants than he is by his "heart". Two months isn't that much of a waste. I wasted 2.5 years with my current ex, and there are others who have remained in the wrong relationship for much, much longer than that. But, I understand how you feel.

 

Look at it this way...lots and lots of guys "would be" good husbands if they didn't have their one or two bad qualities, so you didn't miss out on some great chance. Besides, by the time he's "ready to settle down" there's no telling where he will have been Or, maybe he will have gained 700 pounds and developed chronic foot odor. You never know! I think you'll soon be long past and over this guy and onto someone new...or maybe just happy being single again.