Keyman Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Okay so I am over her, am out of contact with her and don't want to be. I'm dating again, starting to enjoy the single life and all that jazz, but... For the past three nights I have had dreams about her. I don't really remember what they were about, well except for yesterdays one, but they have all been different. I very rarely remember dreaming, but I have for the past three days. What's my subconscious trying to tell me? Is anyone else dreaming about their ex? More than just once? Link to comment
hers Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 I posted about this today--I've been having recurring dreams about my ex lately, even though I'm with someone else now. The dreams are all the same and they are coming nearly every night. Dreaming about your ex is normal, but someone suggested on my thread that perhaps your subconscious is telling you you're not fully over your ex. Link to comment
moto_rider Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 please dont read too much into it. you had a dream means you had a dream. so your ex was in it. so what? when's the last time u had a deep thought of why you dreamed a tiger, mouse, plane, etc. dont worry about it. stay strong! Link to comment
hers Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 Dreams actually mean a lot. Don't discount them. Some dreams have more meaning than others, but they do mean something. Link to comment
Keyman Posted May 21, 2008 Author Share Posted May 21, 2008 I've had the suggestion that there is unfinished business to be resolved. Perhaps I'm not as over her as I would like to be. I guess only time will tell... Link to comment
moto_rider Posted May 21, 2008 Share Posted May 21, 2008 i have this theory. you want some sort of closure with your ex. but to get closure is to not get it. i hope im making sense. time heals what reason cannot. dunno where i heard it but i think it makes sense. Link to comment
musashi Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 It is weird but I have never had a dream about my ex. I find it strange but I guess I am lucky in that regard. Link to comment
caro33 Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 I have been happily married for over 18 months, to a wonderful man who is better than the ex in every way. The relationship with the ex ended at the end of 2001. And yet I dream about him all the time; I think it is nightly sometimes. The reasons have varied: in the year after it ended I dreamed all the time about why he left, in the years since I always dream he is back and I have no idea why I took him back and I get really upset that I did. More recently he kind morphs into my husband and I am shocked and appalled that I somehow married the guy who up and left me and I never heard from again. I dream about the ex's family, the dreams are constant. It's not because I am not over the ex, I just think over ten years I was with him my brain kind of hard wired him into it as "the partner". Link to comment
solariseclipse Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 In many cases, analysis of dreams is metaphorical. The intepretations of dreams are also often ambiguous that any meaning derived from it can be constituted as either multiple meanings or meaningless. Consider the facts that all of us have different mentalities caused by varying psychoanalytic interpretation over the same objects. Take for example that in the conscious world, I see a money as an evil object that corrupts people - whereas another person would view money as the foundation of life and a necessity for survival. So in our subconscious, we are thereforeeee possibly dreaming of of "money" literally, in which case it should be more or less the same meaning to us, or metaphorically which would make our dreams differing. Now, based on my judgement - you are NOT over her. The reason being? You couldn't shake off the thought of dreaming about your ex. If you were absolutely over your ex, then you would not have had the urge to come onto eNotAlone and post a topic to discuss it. I believe that based on the fact you seem so concerned about this, is that you and her broke up on somewhat bad terms? If so you might want to try and find her to conclude on whatever differences you had - just to wrap up that section of your life. Of course, by doing so you risk more exposure to the past memories resurfacing and affecting you even more. If I'm wrong about you guys breaking up on bad terms, then it's maybe got something to do with how recently your relationship with your ex ended? Or maybe it's just your subconscious affiliating your previous moments of "love" with your current moments of "love". To sum it up, it could be anything and you shouldn't look too deep into it. Unless you begin either thinking of her sexually in your dreams all the time, or mumbling her name in your sleep - you should just leave it be. I'm sure your future memories will help erode away the past. Link to comment
Keyman Posted May 22, 2008 Author Share Posted May 22, 2008 Thanks Solareclipse. You are right that I am no over her. I wish I was, but I'm not. The break up/on and off behaviour that happened between us has caused me a lot of pain and it became final only a few weeks ago. I want to move on and forget, find someone new and get the life and love that I desire. ut I find I am fighting myself for an opportunity to run into her, to spend time with her and all that kind of thing. But the other half of me wants to put her behind me, not speak with her and ignore her. I was actually doing fine until Tuesday, when everything began to feel very intense and I started thinking about her. Now some don't believe in the astrological cycle, but the full moon in my sign causes intense emotional response and it started on tuesday. So I am working as best as I can to wait this out. I know that seeing her is only going to make things worse and make me want to spend more time with her, but at the moment, I'm feeling compulsed to do this. Talking on here of course is making things better. So thanks everyone for being honest. Link to comment
Bob3000 Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 Yeah, been dreaming a lot about my ex a lot. She broke up with me three weeks ago after three years together. Some of the dreams are memorable: like the one where there were two of her and they were both breaking up with me! Some are just images: I can remember speaking to her in my dreams last night (probably about our relationship) but can't remember the details. But then I know I'm not over her. But I am finally starting to heal... Link to comment
hamsalad Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 Strange how the mind works, eh, Keyman? I, too, dream of my ex on and off, just like our relationship had been. Now, it's off, but the brain thinks it's...sorta...on. Curse this mind! It'll happen. When? I have no idea, but one day you'll be free. Link to comment
allypally Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 I had a nightmare about him when he was sleeping beside me last Sunday! I thought he was holding me down, strangling me whilst saying that he was seeing other people. Quite vivid and I think what my gut is telling me. He is off on a lads weekend this weekend and I don't trust him not to go off with other women. Link to comment
xtiarax Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 I keep dreaming on my ex and it makes me upset in the morning. Link to comment
hamsalad Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 I keep dreaming on my ex and it makes me upset in the morning. Makes ya wonder when it will fade, huh? Link to comment
xtiarax Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 I do want it to stop though but i think its becuase he is always on my mind and then comes into my dreams lool Link to comment
hamsalad Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 I do want it to stop though but i think its becuase he is always on my mind and then comes into my dreams lool I think that's the way the brain works. Heavy or intense thought permeate into our subconscious and into our dreams. I guess we are all alike. Link to comment
MrMango Posted May 22, 2008 Share Posted May 22, 2008 Crazy! I just had my first dream about my most recent ex last night. It felt so realistic. We were just hanging out outside and there was a weird awkwardness between us, but it felt like despite that awkwardness we still just wanted each others company. Ahhh the good ol' days lol Link to comment
Keyman Posted May 22, 2008 Author Share Posted May 22, 2008 Crazy! I just had my first dream about my most recent ex last night. It felt so realistic. We were just hanging out outside and there was a weird awkwardness between us, but it felt like despite that awkwardness we still just wanted each others company. Ahhh the good ol' days lol Yes that's how mine have been. Awkward but we both wanted each others company. Although the shower one was a little different, as you can imagine... Link to comment
Keyman Posted May 22, 2008 Author Share Posted May 22, 2008 Well I'm pleased to say that I did not dream about her last night (that I can remember). I feel like the intense few days have come to an end and I am more capable of controlling my thoughts about her. There's this pretty girl in another department here at work, who for ages always had this sharp look on her face and would avoid eye contact with me. For the past few days, something's changed. She's actively seeking my eyes and smiling, even said helo yesterday. So when I woke this morning thinking of the ex, as is typical, I tried to think of her instead. I'm hoping the universe will manifest an opportunity for me to ask her for a coffee. It's putting a smile on my face and if nothing comes of it, at least it's been a distraction! Link to comment
hamsalad Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 Well I'm pleased to say that I did not dream about her last night (that I can remember). I feel like the intense few days have come to an end and I am more capable of controlling my thoughts about her. There's this pretty girl in another department here at work, who for ages always had this sharp look on her face and would avoid eye contact with me. For the past few days, something's changed. She's actively seeking my eyes and smiling, even said helo yesterday. So when I woke this morning thinking of the ex, as is typical, I tried to think of her instead. I'm hoping the universe will manifest an opportunity for me to ask her for a coffee. It's putting a smile on my face and if nothing comes of it, at least it's been a distraction! Go get her, buddy You deserve it. Link to comment
jazzykat Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 ^^^I agree! -ask her out! Like you said, at the very least you'll make a new friend! Link to comment
Loris Posted May 23, 2008 Share Posted May 23, 2008 Just reading your post I've started dreaming of my ex and it's weird because I hardly used to dream about her at all. Yes it's a closure-thing and until you have that or replace those feelings with someone else, you'll always dream about them on and off. It helped me last time I broke up with my ex but I asked someone out and we were great together. That seriously got me over my ex and I could move on. Go ask her out Keyman - This could be your ticket out of Dumpsville! Link to comment
Keyman Posted May 23, 2008 Author Share Posted May 23, 2008 Go ask her out Keyman - This could be your ticket out of Dumpsville! I actually have to be honest with myself, and understanding the rebound thing (which I think my ex was from the previous ex), I am looking for my way out of singledom. I've only been properly single for just over a month, had been in limbo for the 6 months before. I think I'm looking for someone to get involved with long term again. I can manage being single and being alone, sometimes easier than others, but I think that I blossum when I'm in a relationship. Life seems better when I have someone to work in with. Link to comment
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