Trying to Understand why she did what she did

[YukiMissYou]

Hi Everybody at enotalone,

 

I was hoping you guys can help me understand why my girlfriend did what she did. I asked her and it seems she doesn't know or can't answer me.

Our realtionship is fine and great, there was no big problems or issues between us except it is a long distance realtionship.

She cheated on me with her classmate. She told me she was cheating, doesn't really know why. Says he reminds her of me. He acts really nice to her and gives her things and talks to her. I asked her if she wanted to go out with him, yet she says no. They do couple things like holding hands, kissing, and hugging. She says she wants to be with me though, she even sleeps with that guy like twice. She told me. I asked her do you love him and she says she doesn't know. Then today she said that she does, but not enough to want to be his girlfriend. What does this all mean? How could you love two people at the same time. She isn't his girlfriend, she doesn't want to go out with him. She told me when she is with me, she wants to be with me, but when she is with him, she wants to be with him. Why is that? Please help me sort this out. I just want to understand why she is doing this. She wants to be with me, but I can't get it out of my mind that she slept with someone else.

[arcadefire]

I think she is confusing love with lust. She is definitely lusting after him.

 

Firstly though you must consider that she is CHEATING ON YOU. At least she has the integrity (or guilt) to tell you. She wants you to be her "backup" because she knows you love her enough to put yourself in that position.

 

Thing is, don't. Ask yourself if you can forgive her for cheating on you and if this is the kind of relationship you want to prolong.

[Pegasus]

She doesn't have the guts to tell you that she's dumping you until she enters new relationship - that is pretty expected from females, at least in my own experiences.

 

On another hand, she cheated on you...why are you waiting for her to dump you? Do you have any self respect?

[Mavis VDSande]

I think you have answered your question already when you say "I can't understand why she can love me but sleep with him". Well then... does she really love you?

 

Perhaps she's not understanding the situation fully - she is openly cheating on you. Her excuses mean nothing.

 

You need to end things because she's taking advantage of you. If I told my bf I slept with a guy who looked and reminded me of him (we are LDR as well) he would flip.

[flyjfly]

You need to end things because she's taking advantage of you. If I told my bf I slept with a guy who looked and reminded me of him (we are LDR as well) he would flip.

I fully agree. As if thats supposed to be some kind of complement coming from her. To be honest, I think that a lot of people just don't have any real shame. They live there life from one moment to the next doing one thing or another. Going for the quick high and instant gratification rather than solid foundation. If she really cared I feel she wouldn't do that to you.

 

I was in a LDR for a few months not too long ago. I finally realized that it wouldn't be fair for a relationship of this level to continue. I didn't find anyone else before ending it, but knew what I had to do.

[justkeepon]

Dawg, she is blatantly taking advantage of you. If it was me I'd end the relationship and give her time to think about what she really wants..... Moreover, you two should talk and try to compromise; figure out what she wants and want you want, and be able to come to an agreement.

 

 

=)

[comfyshoes]

never try to understand why people cheat. you will only end up driving yourself round the bend. just know that if they have done it once,they WILL do it again

[justkeepon]

^ Well Said ;-)

[Pegasus]

...oh yeah, that's a female thing. It's not like any man has ever done that, lol!

I guess you never met my ex.

 

In that case, your ex does not deserve to wear pants.