ex gf's mom going for surgery tomorrow, should i get her flowers?

[moto_rider]

so my gf of 3 yr dumped me heartlessly a week ago. i was crushed but i saw the light and i'm fine now. on the night of the breakup her mom came out and gave me some words of encouragement. technically she didnt really need to be nice to me anymore but she did anyway.

 

i've always liked her, single mom with 3 kids aint easy. she will go in for surgery tomorrow to take out her uterus . will be back home the next day.

 

i want to drop by with flowers to see how she's going. I'm 100% not doing it to impress my ex gf nor to try to get her back cuz after getting my head straight from the sadness i realized it's not entirely my fault.

 

what do you guys think? i like her mom, sister and brother and i think they like me. i also want to give her a card thanking her for being nice to me for 3 yrs.

 

thanks for reading.

[Zampotne]

I would send a card, but not flowers. Even if you're not doing it to impress your ex, it will come off that way if you go overboard.

[riley123]

I think it’s fine to send flowers and a nice note, but stopping by is over the line.

 

You may be doing fine right now, but your ex was the one who ended things and now you need to respect that.

[Mythical_Suicide]

flowers would be nice and maybe a simple card wishing her a great recovery I think would be sweet. Especially if you two were close. I wouldn't "stop by" I would have them sent to her

[eatingsnow]

flower would be nice.. and that is for the mom not for the ex.. if your ex wants to think too much, that would be her problem.

[headunderwater]

I agree have the flowers delivered and if you like, you can drop a personal note to the florist to include. I wouldn't address your ex in any way. Wish her a speedy recovery and thank her for her words of encouragement.

[moto_rider]

thnx for the advice. i'm gonna send the flowers then. just one thing though, i really dont care what my ex thinks of me anymore. her sister, brother and mom all like me and they actually asked me to visit them sometime and not disappear even though i'm not dating my ex anymore.

[Donster]

I agree with previous poster, perhaps deliver flowers rather than swing by. You may end up running into your ex!

 

As an aside, however, I would say that you should be able to maintain your own relationship with your ex's mom independent of your ex...I assume after three years you guys know each other pretty well. But that should occur only if your ex is OK with it. (I am still very good friends with my ex's family, and after 14 years, they treat me as one of their own. In fact, I've actually spoken more with the ex's mom than with my ex ever since we broke up!)

[Mythical_Suicide]

thnx for the advice. i'm gonna send the flowers then. just one thing though, i really dont care what my ex thinks of me anymore. her sister, brother and mom all like me and they actually asked me to visit them sometime and not disappear even though i'm not dating my ex anymore.

 

 

 

that is something you don't need to do, not right now anyway.. even though they ask you too. It really isn't fair to your ex for you to be stopping by and hanging around her family. If you see them out then speak but I think for now it's best left without contact with them. If you do continue speaking with and visiting her family you need to give it more time than it's been.

[moto_rider]

You may end up running into your ex!

 

i think i will def. run into the her if i visit her mom. the thing is even if i run into to her i wouldnt really care anymore. she's like a total stranger to me now. my ex has somewhat alienated herself from her family ever since her mom found out she started to smoke weed.

 

does that matter?

[moto_rider]

It really isn't fair to your ex for you to be stopping by and hanging around her family.

 

i dont want to come off as being immature and selfish but why would i still consider her feelings afterall she wouldnt to it to me.

[Mythical_Suicide]

i dont want to come off as being immature and selfish but why would i still consider her feelings afterall she wouldnt to it to me.

 

Because its her family! Do you really want to cause rifts between her and her family just because you want to hang onto a part of her family? Like I said, give it time and in the future if she is fine with you visiting her family then do it but otherwise be the bigger person here.

[moto_rider]

Because its her family!

 

so if my ex loves her family and her family enjoys my friendship shouldnt my ex be ok with it anyway?

[Mythical_Suicide]

so if my ex loves her family and her family enjoys my friendship shouldnt my ex be ok with it anyway?

 

Oh geez you're taking this way into something more than it should be.

It's only been a week, in reality everything is still very fresh GIVE IT TIME! and more than likely this wanting to visit her family thing will pass. Right now,it just wouldn't be the best thing to do.