Husband continues to chat to ex girlfriends

[mops01]

Hi

 

I spied on my husbands emails after seeing a text on his phone by an ex-girlfriend of his. This triggered a jeolousy monster in me. Since then I have not been able to trust him. I have confronted him about it , especially after finding emails to one of his ex-girlfriends that he sent just before our marriage telling her how he misses her and how he sometimes wonders what could have happened if they continued the relationship. He also had chats with her every day and even indicated to her that they are inocently flirting with each other. They shared very personal information about our marriage, and the best of all is I never even knew she existed, but she knows everything about me. As I said I confronted him, because I was worried about what this jeolousy was turning me into. He assured me that they were just chatting and that there was nothing between them. She doesnt live close to us. I told my husband that the only way I was going to be able to trust him again was if he wrote to both ex girlfriends that were still in contact with him and told them he would end the contact and show me the letter.

 

He never has. This of course did not appease me, so last week I went on to his emails again, and found that he and the one woman was still having chats, but that he now was just deleting the conversations.(if it was so inoccent why would he act so guilty)

 

I dont know what to do, I dont trust him and I dont want to confront him again, because he always makes me feel like I did wrong by checking his emails. I also cannot continue like this, because it affects our marriage and I'm afraid also our working relationship(we work toghether).

 

I have always felt that intimacy is more than physical, is what he is doing wrong,or am I riducculous? He has alot of female friends, but I dont mind them because they more or not have become friends of mine as well.

 

I would appreciate any advise.

[seesun]

hummmmmmmm,i think your housband is wrong about this.what he is doing do harms to your marriage . he is supposed to end this.

[Aleadragonhawk]

Ask him if he's still in contact with her (without mentioning checking his email again) and see what he says.

[Dako]

He's confiding in another woman about you, a breech of privacy, and you're invading his privacy.

 

I'd apologize for spying on him and suggest he go live with her.

Nagging won't get his attention.

[Zampotne]

He's emotionally cheating on you. Not acceptable.

 

IMO anything you do that you wouldn't want your partner to know about is unacceptable.

[pinkelephant]

He's confiding in another woman about you, a breech of privacy, and you're invading his privacy.

 

I'd apologize for spying on him and suggest he go live with her.

Nagging won't get his attention.

 

Yup.

This however will.