Should I call or not?

[Justaguy21]

Okay some people may remember my old posts about me and my ex and the problems we have had. Let me try to sum it up quickly for people who don't know about my problems.

 

-Girlfriend broke up with me in March of 03'

-We dated several times in Summer but I became to aggressive so she stopped

-She eventually told me she dosnt know what she wants

-Still wants me in her life

-Says my opinion of her means more than anyone elses

-Is still attracted to me

-Can't tell me that she dosnt love me anymore

-I would question her about her love life

 

The last time I talked to her was about a month and half ago with her telling me that she dosnt know what will happen with us but she doubts we will get back together, and finally told me she will have to date other people to finally find out what she wants. Well I got fed up because I've been trying to reastablish our relationship numerous times over the 8-9 month period.

 

I ended our last conversation (over a month ago) telling her I'm fed up with her leaving me on the back burner and how when she wants to talk to me, to call me but I'm not calling her or anything because I want her to grow and figure what she wants. She cried like mad when I told her this questioning why and when she can call me and I said whenever but only if she needs advice or someone to vent to. It hurts me to much to call her because it reminds me of all we went through and she wants this friendship which is something I can't give her since my love for her is immense.

 

I have dated a lot of women since our breakup but alas, known have compared to her. Well anyways, Ill get to my question. She's down from school. She lives about 2 hours away and shes down here in my local town for christmas break. I havnt contacted her in a month and she has made no effort to contact me but she's only going to be down for a few weeks and then go back for the summer and the next quarter.

 

In my heart I know this may be my last chance to actually see her in person and show her how much I've changed but the time is so little and I felt that she has moved on and is dating someone new. What should I do? Should I call her and get together with her and try talking to her? I really need some advice since I'm like 1 step away from calling her tonight and setting something up. I may have to call since I'm the one that told her I didnt like really talking to her anymore.

Thanks,

-Me

 

Added: I'm a lot stronger of a person since we have broken up and have really changed and improved my self being, yet, it sucks since the only women I want, dosnt want me....

[raider5]

First of all it wouldn't hurt to read the guide Morrigan posted. "So you want your ex back...."

 

Since you were the one that sorta got frustrated and flew of the handle about her being so wishy-washy about your relationship you're right that you might need to be the one to reconcile. But take your current feelings to heart. She WILL NOT respond to excessive emotion, only to confidence and assurance and level-headedness. But you should know that women are capacious by nature. I know it's really frustrating, but many times they don't come back to you all at once. It may take months of getting closer and closer, little by little,taking back steps, and then finally one day just realizing that your together again.

 

Is there anyway you can just leave or send a card to her. Something that says I'm sorry, but you don't have to actually be the one that breaks down and calls her. There are lots of romantic "I'm really sorry, I'll always love you" cards at your local grocery store. I gave one to my ex with better than mixed results. If she's not seeing anyone you MIGHT bundle it with a non-red rose (or red I don't know).

 

Either way I would wait for a few more opinions before you make your move. There are books on the subject and you do have a little time.

 

Good luck!

 

James

[Justaguy21]

Thanks for your response James. I have read the post by Morrigan and I believe all of it and I'm passed the groveling and interogation stage. I just want to talk to her one last time. She is extremely and I mean EXtremely stubborn and prideful so I may have to light the fuse on this one. I don't know her current address and so I may just have to call her. I really don't know what to say but in the back of my mind I know that if things don't work out with us that I will move on and meet someone new it's just I rather try with her over anyone else at the current time.

 

I hope to take her out to dinner and just talk to her without asking questions about her love life, about us or anything and see how it goes. I know I'm going to have to take things slow but it's been almost a year now and I've been really patient with her so I'm afraid I may blurt out something stupid and foul up the situation for good. I'll try to not be emotional since she responded to me best when I wasn't but it's hard since I feel like I'm just this toy she plays with and has others on the side. I'm not back-up material and I don't like to think that she thinks I'm and maybe that's one of the main reasons I broke contact from her.

-Me

[Boromir]

I almost want to say don't take her out and save your money. I think if she came back she'd just end up doing this again. I have learned that when you through a big breakup like this that it is over. Even when you get back together it isn't the same.

 

Best of luck though with whatever happens!