One month since break up : (, the pain is worse..

[Pharm11]

When will it stop. Today is so sad. This week has been so hectic for me, on monday was our last goodbye...we are both separated!!! with our hearts and by distance.

 

Sometimes I wonder even if he told me he didnt love me,...did he ever love but was he too scared to say it...

 

Oh gosh, he is back home with his ex. i cant stop thinking about all the stupid possibilities. One month....I wonder if he will remember...

[surfjon]

Of course he remembers, you will not be as easy to forget as your ego allows you to think you will be. Be assured that when a relationship ends, the other party thinks of you. If you were the one "dumped", it makes it harder to accept the end has come, but acceptance is key!!

 

The "A" word is your friend, A C C E P T things and you'll find there is another world out there, one in which YOU ARE THE CAPTAIN!!

 

There is more out there to love you, many more and you will eventually go forth and experience what fate has yet in store for you.

 

My marriage of 20 years ended yesterday with two signatures, one by her and the other by me.

 

The last 10 months have been ones which I would not wish on anyone, a bizarre rollercoaster of good and bad emotions, a string of women and a couple "girlfriends", none of which panned out. But I did start living again and feel like I have a new start.

 

Use this time in a good way and you'll be pleased with the future!!

 

surf........

[Pharm11]

Thank you.

I bet a marriage of 20 years was hard. But I am glad you are strong, and you are able to help me out.

 

Acceptance is so hard. I had been going to a counsler and he said I totally went through the 5 stages of grief when I went to him. I HAVE accepted it, that we both need time. But its so scary to forget....then I feel guilty...but its actually up to him since he let me go. Because i begged for him back, and now all I cud do is NC.

 

Accept, but the memories....the thoughts so hard to forget. I guess if it is meant to be me forgetting now will be good for later, then we both could have a fresh start if there is one....

[Pharm11]

Thanks kitty,

 

I want to cry so much...my heart is hurting piercing..i am at my parents house and unfourtunately i cant cry!!!!

 

I keep on listening to breakup songs, and I feel so sad and cant believe its been one month and still he doesnt want me back. He doesnt miss me? Has he forgotten. Was the last goodbye on monday ...was that it....Y did he turn around and look as i colsed the door. I dont get it...these memories keep flashing...

 

HELP!!

[riley123]

Hi,

 

Don’t freak out. Try hard to block out any thoughts of what you ex may be doing. You have no control over that, so don’t force yourself to bear any unnecessary pain.

 

Literally, think of something (that does not have to do with him) that makes you smile and every time you have a thought or feeling about him try and go to that place.

 

The worst (and easiest) thing to do is mope and wallow. You said your home now? Why not go visit friends that you haven’t seen since you’ve been away in school? Go for a walk or run? Talk to your parents about the situation? Don’t isolate yourself – it only makes the pain and emptiness worse.

 

What I try and do is spend a specific amount of time feeling bad per day. So, if a thought or memory gets me down about my ex early in the morning, then I allow myself 5 or 10 minutes to think about her and then no more. Life’s too short to be sad.

 

Cheer up. You’ll feel much better as the summer goes on. Live your life – don’t wait for someone else to start it.

[Pharm11]

You are right aswell, give some time but not the whole day lol. Its tough at home, i cant talk to my parents about this, not even allowed to date.

 

Being in situations like this, where ones heart is broken by someone else, its like you never ever want to love again.

 

Time heals as they say, but why does it take so long, and as someone quoted from the movie on a thread the swingers, they never seem to come back until you have forgotten about them and healed. Why is that, why such tests?

[riley123]

Yea, you’re right; there are not many tougher tests than battling through a broken heart. But think about it, if love was easy – to find and get over – would it be something that we would desire? These tests or challenges are just part of the package.

 

I think you’re over thinking the situation. Of course you will love again – but only when your ready and your heart has healed. Don’t focus on that right now, it’s too early. Focus on you and make a promise to be good to yourself.

 

Remember, if he truly loves you then he will come back, so take some solace in that.

 

You don’t want to be with anyone unless they truly love you.

[Pharm11]

You know the funny thing is, I was in a loveless realtionship. It was one way, me falling for him, where he was just "feeling me out." It makes me mad that we went to mexico together for spring break, and he said he felt no different after the trip, where I fell more deep into it. Then two weeks later , bam he broke my heart.

 

For him I dont think its as bad since he didnt love me...but then I wonder if he was just confused and he didnt know if he did or not?....I guess I will never know...its over now and no call from him since the goodbye on monday...: (. It is good and bad, good where I could move on a little bit more without hearing his voice, but bad because he got back home and possibly forgot or doesnt care enough to call and see how I am...

[Pharm11]

Thanks kitty, you guys all care so much. It is nice to know that we can all help eachother out.

 

So is it key to keep conversations short....if your ex calls, does this catch them off guard, like they think she/he doesnt want to talk to me and that they are not a priority anymore... or do they think she/he is still hurting thats why she wants to keep the talk short?

[hamsalad]

Thanks kitty, you guys all care so much. It is nice to know that we can all help eachother out.

 

So is it key to keep conversations short....if your ex calls, does this catch them off guard, like they think she/he doesnt want to talk to me and that they are not a priority anymore... or do they think she/he is still hurting thats why she wants to keep the talk short?

 

Good question. I always wonder how I would sound if she called me. I would hope I could remain neutral and just sound as if I was talking to an operator or something like that.