is it possible?.............

[musicguy]

I was wondering, is it possible for one to be truly in love with their significant other and still have feelings for their ex, be friends with them, but not want to get back with them? Does it make his/her feelings confusing especially if you are currently with that person and what can one do about it?

I really do hope this makes sense.

 

 

Musicguy

[Swit_Lilyan]

Yes, one can have feeling for their ex does not want to get back with them. That feeling however is not love but it is just caring.

[kdreger]

I was wondering, is it possible for one to be truly in love with their significant other and still have feelings for their ex, be friends with them, but not want to get back with them? Does it make his/her feelings confusing especially if you are currently with that person and what can one do about it?

I really do hope this makes sense.

 

 

Musicguy

 

I still care about my ex-wife but I sure as hell wouldn't get with her again.

 

Just because you break up and move on doesn't turn off your feelings. Sometimes the reason you leave isn't because you hate the person. Besides, more time passes and the more you remember the good things about past relationships, forgetting the grief and hell the ?@?$@?# put you through.

 

So, yes, it's possible. The important thing is to understand this and keep those things separate. Don't let one cause conflict with the other.

 

What can you do about it? Try to keep your contact with your ex to a minimum and MAKE SURE you never compare one against he other.

[Cid]

yes, it's possible. And I think that it is a good thing.

[The Morrigan]

Yep, perfectly possible - a lot of splits aren't hateful or involve really harsh feelings, you can still like or love the person you were once with without being in love with them, or have any desire to resume more than a friendly relationship. In some of the "best case" scenarios, exes become good friends, and since they're already comfortable talking, tend to turn to the ex when something comes up.

 

The only problems are if one of the two still wants more out of the relationship, or if it interferes with one of them being able to develop a deeper relationship with a new partner.

 

It CAN be confusing, especially for the new interests in their lives, I think because that "comfortable" bond of talking about almost anything is already in place, and unlike someone who was only ever just a friend, it's hard to see as just friendship when it's someone your gf or bf was previously involved with. If you think it's too comfortable, ie, your gf or bf is turning to them first with problems and not you, sit down and have a gentle talk and explain you feel kind of left out of the loop, and a bit hurt they don't try to come to you first - they may be surprised and not even realize they're doing it out of habit.

[icehouse]

It is possible....i still have feelings for my ex...though i would burn in hell before ever getting back with her....i think its mainly cause she is the mother of my child....so that creates a conn.

[neva_black_n_white]

hey musicguy.

 

im great mates with one of my ex's and trust me they dont get in the way just ensure they dont start interfeering.

other than that it tends to work. and if it does you will feel even better knowing that your lover isnt tempted.

 

good luck.

kel