My ex is a cutter, and doesn't seem to want to stop

[KaylaJoy]

My ex, also known as the love of my life still, is a cutter. He has been for several years. He and I have talked extensively, I have seen all his hidden scars, and it scares me because he wears them like badges of valor. He's explained all his reasons, and I understand why HE does it, but I don't understand why he feels like this is OK. He basically says that he's not hurting anyone but himself so why should it bother anyone else. We are still very close friends, even though we are no longer in a relationship, and we talked about this last weekend, and he honestly doesn't think there's anything wrong with cutting himself. He is college educated, works hard, is smart, handsome, and very well spoken. He also suffers from depression but he would never admit it. He could out talk any therapist in the country, but instead of seeking help, he chooses to cut himself. Just this past weekend he basically said that he wishes I would quit trying to talk to him about it period. I usually ask him about it, if he's had any recent episodes, thinking maybe that would help him just by talking about the issues at stake. But he says basically that there are certain things he doesn't wish to talk about, and he wants me to leave him alone about it.

His family is not aware of this issue, his scars are well hid, and I think only a few friends know, but none currently check in with him about it except for me.

I'm worried that if becomes solely his burden, it will get worse, but I'm afraid that if I keep bringing it up, he will close up completely.

Anybody got any suggestions? I understand his reasonings, but I don't understand his lack of desire to seek help. He thinks this is an acceptable method of letting go of things, and gets upset if I say anything to the contrary.

[annie24]

is this the ex who isn't writing back to you?

[HeartGoesOn]

I'm confused, Is this the guy that just texted you to tell you he was engaged?

[KaylaJoy]

This is the ex who ignores me, not the one who won't stop texting me and who recently got engaged. This is the ex that I have been friends with for about 12 years. I'm not sure how long he's been cutting, maybe about 6 or 7 of those years.

I'm one of about 3 or 4 people I think who even realize he does it, and the only person who ever asks him about it or tries to talk to him about it. I've tried to talk to him about therapy, but he scoffs at me. It's really sad, and it's made even worse because this is the same guy who ignores my calls or texts and so I always have in the back of mind that perhaps something has happened to him.