AshleyRae Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 So I decided to take a break from the internet all together for awhile. It actually worked to my advantage. I missed out on a lot of drama that I really didn't care to be in, but I miss enotalone.com... a lot. To start things off, I broke up with my SO. We are still "talking", and both still very strongly for eachother but I really need the space and time. He feels very hurt, and feels like he is losing me. If I would have stayed with him, I would have felt very overwhelmed and ended up ending things between us for good. Though we both have a million and one things in common, a big difference between us is that he is very dependant with me (likes to show affection all the time, spoils me, always wants to be around me, likes to kiss me a lot, etc.) but I have always been very independent with my boyfriends (like my ME time, likes to not be touching all the time, wants to be with friends a lot, too, etc.) so we butt-heads quick often. As this has been going on for a month now, I have met someone else (sort of). We aren't anything but friends right now, and I do like him... but he definitely likes me more than I like him. He is very sweet, and likes the same stuff I do. But again, he is very dependant with me. So I am trying to push away from him without trying to ruin the friendship we do have. (STRESSFUL!) I have known him for about 3 or 4 years now. I don't think he understands no matter what I tell him, which I am being very blunt saying I just want to be friends. To top things off, about a week ago me and my bestfriend hung out with some of my old friends... including my ex-boyfriend. I never imagined that when I saw him I would feel like my heart was bouncing out of my heart. The WHOLE entire night, I felt like I was floating. The thing is, he is a mystery to me. He makes me want to be more open, more affectionate... just because we both are so dependant, and keep everything in. He is so good at hiding how he feels, but for once... I want a guy to show me the attention. It's the weirdest thing! I can't get him out of my head! Just that one night has made me feel like HE is the one I want to be with. Why? I am so confused. I can't figure out what to do. If I want to be with my ex-SO, how can we fix things so I can't have my space and he isn't so dependant? If I want I just want to be friends with him, how can I finally get it in his head that even though I did like him, I can't be with him and just want to remain friends? If I want to be with my ex who I spent ONE night with and have fallen for him again, how do I get him back? Help? Link to comment
DN Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 You seem to be like the ball in a pinball machine bouncing from one guy to another and forming no lasting attachment to any of them - but in the meantime all sorts of bells and whistles and flashing lights are creating the illusion of excitement but in reality that excitement is transitory and unsatisfying. And people are getting hurt by you. Link to comment
Excalibur Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 You like being ardently pursued - it shows your value. He likes being pursuant and you accepting his pursuit in any manner - it shows his value. Link to comment
AshleyRae Posted May 15, 2008 Author Share Posted May 15, 2008 You seem to be like the ball in a pinball machine bouncing from one guy to another and forming no lasting attachment to any of them - but in the meantime all sorts of bells and whistles and flashing lights are creating the illusion of excitement but in reality that excitement is transitory and unsatisfying. And people are getting hurt by you. Yeah, no kidding. But before this past relationship, every other relationship I had been in, I had always did and felt everything for the other person and never received anything in return. I told myself this time would be different, I would do things for me... for me to be happy. I don't want to hurt my EX but like I said, his dependence to me is driving me up the walls! Link to comment
Excalibur Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 But you liked him initially because of his dependence - if you don't like the trait - cut the tie entirely. Link to comment
AshleyRae Posted May 15, 2008 Author Share Posted May 15, 2008 BTW, How am I doing something wrong? I am NOT dating anyone. My recent ex knows I still like him but I don't know what I want right now. My friend who wants to be more, knows I just want to be friends and that's it. And my other ex has NO CLUE about anything, and if I can figure things out he might never know. Link to comment
Excalibur Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 The question is why can't you date who you want, tell people how it is for you, and be okay with them having a response to your position and actions based on who they are? You're working really hard to get everybody to like you, to be an option for you...... Link to comment
AshleyRae Posted May 15, 2008 Author Share Posted May 15, 2008 How am I working for everyone to like me? My ex does, my friend does but I am CLEARLY stating that I don't want anything else, and my other ex has NO CLUE! Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 But isn't your ex the one who treated you crappy? And then you met a great guy over spring break? I could be mixing up the story with someone elses though. Link to comment
AshleyRae Posted May 15, 2008 Author Share Posted May 15, 2008 Yeah, he did treat me crappy. But I haven't had a good boyfriend till my recent ex. UGGGGH! (The reason why I have fallen back into the one that treated me crappy is because we both agreed to be just friends and talked over the phone and texted and he was genuinely sweet. But when I saw him, I saw the change he made.) Link to comment
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