What is going through his mind?

[Vi]

Well, after my ex broke up with me, he was there all the time trying to support me and get over the hurt. He'd call serveral time a day to make sure I was ok. He said he still cared very much for me. He even said that he wouldn't "see" other people until I was over him.

However, two weeks after being there for me 100% of the way, he started to break off contact. It seems that he's trying to be cold to me. He asked another girl out....just the day before he reassured me that he would not see anyone else until I had my life back togeather, and it seems so confusing.

He seems desperate, to me... I see him three times a week from afar trying to ask a different girl out, to get her number. Is this normal? It seems he's making an attempt to go out with any girl willing to go out with him.

He told me after the break up that he didn't want another relationship at all at the moment. He wanted to enjoy his freedom, his independance. He told me he would just date people for sex; no attachment and no commitments. So does that explain his behavoir? Still, why would he say something one day, and go about differently upon the next?

I'm still holding on to he hope that he'll be back one day. Is it foolish to wait?

[sayer7]

Do you really want to be with someone who wants to USE women just for physical sex-- who seems to want to have "just sex" with about anyone who shows him attention??

 

How does it make you feel knowing he'd rather just have sex with someone he'd just met than have an emotionally committed relationship with you?

 

I would start thinking, he's not really worth crying over or even thinking about. But then I'm not someone who's been in an emotional relationship with him like you have.

 

I understand your conflicts but I honestly believe you can do better than him, and you deserve a better guy. It's always great to keep ex's as friends if possible, but if an ex starts disrespecting people to benefit his own needs I start thinking "Is that really the kind of friend I want to have in my social circle?"

 

Just my thoughts on the issue... I wish you luck though.

[Vi]

I've told myself that many times, and to tell you the truth I don't know. The person he's trying to project himself as, isn't the person I knew him as. He's not the person who broke up with me, not the friend that comforted me after. That is what makes it so confusing. People do change, but not over night and thats what's seems so odd.

He is resectful to others and has many female friends.

As for not wanted a commiment and obligation, I have to say that I did a lot of things that made him feel bad, guilty, and hurt. I can understand why he doesn't want to go back into that.

We use to have a close relationship. He mentioned love, marriage, even children even before I did.

As for using women, i think he's looking for someone who shares his opinion, who want to simple have "sex" with no commitments; but as you said it's still disrespect, and I see that. But my heart still wants to wait, so I am I guess I'm staying true to myself, even if it may seem stupid.

[Archivist]

sorry double post

[Archivist]

Hi Vi,

 

Maybe your ex is feeling guilty about breaking up with you and wants to make sure that you are ok before he moves into another realtionshsip. By the sounds of things he still really cares about you. But to be honest after a break up, both you and your ex need time to adjust to your new life. Both of you will definatley feel lonely as you no longer have each other as company. Be honest with yourself here, wouldn't it be good if you had someone to fill the void or lonelyless you are experiencing? People often thinnk about themselves before anyone else, its human nature. Even tho i wouldn't jump into a relationship with someone new so soon after my recent break up, my ex quickly found someone new. I know, it hurts like hell, i'd like to think that their realtionship wont last. But to be honest, shes not my concern anymore, she knew how much it would hurt me by going out with my "friend" so soon after our break up, all she can say is sorry, she didn't mean for this to happen, but it still happenend and it was their descision. Some people are just like that, as you can see from this forum alot of people have done this. I on the other hand, would not like to jump into another realtionship so soon, not until i know i am ready. The horrible truth is, some people like to do what our ex is doing right now, i dont know what kind of person it makes them, but these things happen. We haven't done anything wrong, just be mature about this and worry about yourself look after number one. I hope what i've said to you has made some sense, don't dwell on what has already happened it wont change a thing, just worry about healing yourself ok?