missing that initial stage already

[mazzy1212]

so i have been (officially) with my bf since october. everything is great. i love him. he loves me. the thing is i feel like we've been dating a lot longer than we have, which could be good and bad i guess.

 

when we first starting dating, and even before, he would walk me to my car at night, open my side of the car door, say sweet things, compliment me everytime i came over, and just be excited to see me in general. now i know that doesnt all last forever, nor was i expecting it to as he was courting me at the time, but the lack of that stuff (and the fact it stopped so soon) makes me feel sorta, well... blah.

 

dont get me wrong, he does other stuff to show he cares. he holds my hand, tells me he loves me, is very affectionate, includes me in everything in his life, calls me (or i call him) everyday at lunch and before bed.

 

the thing is, im still doing the stuff i did for him (and i plan to continue to do so). i tell him how handsome he is, how lucky i am to have him, always picking up little (and big) gifts for him, and just doing sweet things. i never want to take him for granted... i dont want to assume he knows how i feel, so i make it known.

 

i guess what i miss most is the sweet words. him telling me that he always wants to be with me, how lucky he is, and how he wouldnt trade me for anything. the other night when we were out partying he said he loved me and that he didnt think he told me enough. which is weird bc he says it all the time. maybe he meant to say he doesnt tell me how much he's happy to have me or something like that but he was drunk and maybe it came out wrong. at any rate, what am i to do? i don't want to nag on something pretty insignifcant in the big picture, but why live with this little hole in my heart when maybe i don't have to if i discussed it with him?

[redhearts]

Everything is going good, so don't mess a good thing up, but don't keep things bottled up inside either. Just keep at what your doing and be happy for what you got, he still holds your hand, calls you and all that good stuff!!!!

 

Its always good to talk about things. I'm sure hes not like you are that you want to keep the things going, he probably just doesn't know that its important to you, so if you explain to him by starting it off good. Not in a negative way, such as you are such a wonderful bf, I love how you do this and that, I just miss those small things you used to do when we first when out, it meant a lot to me.

 

^^^^ thats without using the word but because it seems like its a bad thing coming or something.

[_Asti_]

I would just reinforce it when he actually does do those things. Like when he says something sweet that you haven't heard in a while, say "I love when you say things like that..I miss those things.." etc etc

 

Sometimes, and its very common, that those things do go away because they don't feel the need to say those things anymore.

 

And certainly asking him to do it, won't yield anything except him doing it out of obligation, which to me..those things should come from him because he wants to do them, not because you asked.

[redhearts]

^^ Thats true, just let it be. Think of it this way, the times he does say or do things that he hasn't in a while are more special because he doesn't always do it.

[JeckyllNHyde]

Funny, b/c I think you and me are (or I was) feeling this way.

Me and my bf have also been together the same amount of time kinda. We went out in Oct and in Dec made it official.

But now things started feeling diffrent. (Just picture every single thing you just mentioned haha). Just that I also sometimes feel like he isn't as excited to see me. And just like you, I knew it would come, but when it did blah. To make it worse I haven't had many LTR so I never went thru the "things dying down" fase.

 

Newho.. My and my bf had some probs the last few days, not talking b/c I was sad/mad etc. We talked it out today finally.

And I feel so bad for feeling the way I did. He told me how he has truly been doing his best and that now he would try harder. Gawd I felt like a monster for even thinking that he was losing interest.

I think this may be the case with you and your bf too?

 

I noticed that really sillyyyyyyyy stuff was bothering me and me misunderstanding. E.g.: he said he was gonna hang out with his cousins instead of come to see me. And I got sad thinking he must be getting bored with me (he sees his cousins everyday as it is..)

Today he tells me how hard he worked that day (man labor) and how pooped he was.

As you can see: a misunderstanding.

 

I also think your bf truly means it when he says that he feels he doesn't say it enough.

 

M advice: continue doing all those sweet things you did in the beginning. Things may not be new but over time things will be even better! then the beginning, just in a diffrent way. A more deeper way I guess you can call it.

 

I never want to make the mistake of having given 150% in the beginning and 40% after the newness has worn, and I always remind myself this.

 

Try telling your bf that you don't want things to change just b/c time passes, like doing and saying sweet things "just because."

I'm very sure he will understand.

Good luck.

 

[ghost69]

try a romantic dinner. women need that sometimes. but yeah, i wouldn't try and ruin the good thing you have going.

 

see, some of you ladies have a good thing and STILL have to question it. *shakes head*

[Taylor527]

you have to take the good with the bad...

 

new love fades - true loves arises.

 

 

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years and we still go on a date every monthly anniversary just to get out and have a romantic night... maybe try doing something like that.