STD check

[watupgangsta]

so i had random sex with this girl a couple nights ago at a party i hosted. not only that but it was unprotected sex and i even came inside her. she told me (after, yes i know) that shes on the pill. that was a relief. but i also don't know if she has std's. i have a feeling she's clean, but thats really just a feeling, so im gotta get checked. what i want to know is, should i wait a few weeks first? i heard that if you get something, it might not show up on a test right away.

[hers]

yes wait a few weeks. even if you do it now, your doctor will tell you to come back in a few weeks or months for another check just to be sure.

[Batya33]

You should get checked now and again in 6 months. And also check with her as to whether she is pregnant. The pill is effective only if taken properly and since you are not her boyfriend nor do you know her well, you don't know if she takes it consistently.

[jengh]

i'm going to save you my lecture about STDs and knocking up a girl from a one night stand...

 

it can take MONTHS for something to come up. if you have sex again before you get tested, (i'd get tested now, then i'd wait three months to get tested and then get tested again three months after that) USE a CONDOM!!!

[CallingAllAngels]

I would discuss with my doctor when the best time to get tested is, and, I would also be in contact with this girl.

 

You don't really KNOW if she is on the pill, or if she takes it at the same time every day, so there is the possiblity she could be pregnant. Perhaps you could ask her to get tested for STD's to ease your mind?

 

For HIV you will have to have your test repeated in 6 months I believe. After that, you are okay.

 

But for for the love of God, why in this day in age would you have a one night stand without a condom????

 

I don't want to beat you up....but please don't sleep with ANYONE else now without a condom, because you COULD have something, and not know it for months.

 

You say you don't "think" she has anything. You can't tell my looking.

 

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that she doesn't. But since she she had sex with you at your party without a condom, don't ya wonder how many other guys she's done that with?

 

My best to you,

 

~Allie

[DJG]

allie2064, "But for for the love of God, why in this day in age would you have a one night stand without a condom???? "

Because he's nineteen, was drunk, would prefer doing it without a condom.Pick your answer .When you're younger and hosting your party then sex might be happening everywhere.More often than not people tend to let go of their boundaries when under influence of "stuff".Believe it or not, enough of us would try not to use a condom at all, they love unprotected sex.

[Batya33]

I look at it more of the decision to have unprotected sex starts with the decision to get drunk -- nothing passive about it.

 

Look, as long as he is willing to risk STDs and being a daddy at a young age, it's his choice to get drunk and have unprotected sex with a stranger as long as he is not giving someone else an STD that is or forcing someone to have sex.

[JadedStar]

allie2064, "But for for the love of God, why in this day in age would you have a one night stand without a condom???? "

Because he's nineteen, was drunk, would prefer doing it without a condom.Pick your answer .When you're younger and hosting your party then sex might be happening everywhere.More often than not people tend to let go of their boundaries when under influence of "stuff".Believe it or not, enough of us would try not to use a condom at all, they love unprotected sex.

 

And then they flip out when they contract an STD.

 

Youth, drunkeness and not wanting to "do it with a condom" are all poor excuses for having unprotected sex. In this day and age there is far too much education EVERYWHERE for people to be clueless.

[mke11077]

I know when testing for HIV it's recommended to test 6 months after the first test, but you should also test 6 months after the second to be completely sure.

 

As for the one night stand thing without a condom... He never made any excuses in his post as to why he didn't wear one. He simply made a decision not to, I agree with everyone else that a condom should have been worn no matter what, but he chose not to. It's a done deal, hopefully he'll learn a lesson and not make the same mistake again.

 

I know I learned!!! That's how I know about the HIV test, luckily all of them came back negative...

[DJG]

JadedStar, *with a smile* Always easier for me and you to put a blame on somebody when it's not two of us to blame.

I can hardly call myself sexually educated even now.Maybe information is available but average nineteen year old, i'm sure, still doesn't know much on this matter.Watching anti AIDS commercial or even hearing a course won't make you do everything right all the time.

Negative peer pressure is stronger than, still, quite basic media influence.

[CallingAllAngels]

allie2064, "But for for the love of God, why in this day in age would you have a one night stand without a condom???? "

Because he's nineteen, was drunk, would prefer doing it without a condom.Pick your answer .When you're younger and hosting your party then sex might be happening everywhere.More often than not people tend to let go of their boundaries when under influence of "stuff".Believe it or not, enough of us would try not to use a condom at all, they love unprotected sex.

 

Well, I just hope when the Dr. tells you that you have an STD, or, God forbid, HIV, that you can chalk it up to going off your "boundries", and it was worth that one drunken night of preferring to do it without a condom.

 

Yeah...I can "see" where the risk out ways the consequences...

[Batya33]

JadedStar, *with a smile* Always easier for me and you to put a blame on somebody when it's not two of us to blame.

I can hardly call myself sexually educated even now.Maybe information is available but average nineteen year old, i'm sure, still doesn't know much on this matter.Watching anti AIDS commercial or even hearing a course won't make you do everything right all the time.

Negative peer pressure is stronger than, still, quite basic media influence.

 

That's an extremely passive statement (and likely inaccurate, at least it was when I was 19 and we'd only really known about AIDs as a general threat for a few years. I was educated by my parents and other adults. And I cared enough to look for information on my own despite having no Internet access (or anyone) back then. The OP for example most certainly knows what he did was dangerous, other than being under the misimpression that he is safe as far as pregnancy.

[CallingAllAngels]

That's an extremely passive statement (and likely inaccurate, at least it was when I was 19 and we'd only really known about AIDs as a general threat for a few years. I was educated by my parents and other adults. And I cared enough to look for information on my own despite having no Internet access (or anyone) back then. The OP for example most certainly knows what he did was dangerous, other than being under the misimpression that he is safe as far as pregnancy.

 

As always, Bayta is spot on.

 

The OP knows what he did was not very smart, that's why he posted.

[watupgangsta]

yeah well i agree with you guys. i really haven't been sexually active and it wasnt due to negative peer pressure or lack of education... i was just stupid. anyway i do know this girl, we went to high school together. i just haven't really seen her the past couple years so it was random in that respect. but thanks to those who addressed my question. i suppose i'll go get checked in a couple months. i'll be using a condom from here on out. and i know im not safe as far as pregnancy is concerned, its just kinda outta my hands at this point, i asked her if shes on the pill and she said yes what else can i do?

[teknoise]

You already know it wasn't a smart thing to do, so I'll spare all the lectures. However, don't beat yourself up over it.

 

Its a risk, not a guarantee, that you'll come out of this with an STD and a child. Provided you don't do it again, and learn from this, its most likely going to remain a distant memory and have no impact on your life. We all mess up, especially when we are young and foolish, and not everybody winds up with HIV. God knows I did some dumb things, such as this, on more than a few occasions when I was younger and nothing ever happened to me.

[Batya33]

Just because a woman says she is on the Pill it is not out of your hands. You are responsible for insisting on a condom unless you are in a relationship with her and know she takes it regularly. Also she may not know that antibiotics interfere with the pill's effectiveness so she might think she is safe but she's not.

[watupgangsta]

Just because a woman says she is on the Pill it is not out of your hands. You are responsible for insisting on a condom unless you are in a relationship with her and know she takes it regularly. Also she may not know that antibiotics interfere with the pill's effectiveness so she might think she is safe but she's not.

 

i understand that. jeez, i feel like im being treated like a damn 3rd grader. i know what i did was stupid. im saying, it already happened... its out of my hands NOW.

[Batya33]

No, it's not out of your hands now. I don't mean to be condescending but your attitude is fairly passive all around. Whether she is pregnant or you have an STD is out of your hands. but to do the right thing, you call her in a month or so, just check in, you get tested and if you test positive, you tell her that.

[mke11077]

i understand that. jeez, i feel like im being treated like a damn 3rd grader. i know what i did was stupid. im saying, it already happened... its out of my hands NOW.

 

Some are treating you like a 3rd grader! I understand what you mean by it's out of your hands; the incident itself has happened so there is nothing you can do to change it. All you can do regarding this is make sure you get tested and keep in touch with the girl about pregnancy.

[watupgangsta]

Some are treating you like a 3rd grader! I understand what you mean by it's out of your hands; the incident itself has happened so there is nothing you can do to change it. All you can do regarding this is make sure you get tested and keep in touch with the girl about pregnancy.

 

yes thank you. some people here are so quick to preach.

[Batya33]

yes thank you. some people here are so quick to preach.

 

I'm not preaching in the least- I'm giving input on how to protect yourself and this woman and advising that your passive approach is not a healthy, safe or good way to go. In your very first post you assumed that just because your one night stand was on the Pill you were safe as far as pregnancy. That is alarming that you thought that and a real sign to you I hope to get yourself better educated on this topic and your health.

[watupgangsta]

I'm not preaching in the least- I'm giving input on how to protect yourself and this woman and advising that your passive approach is not a healthy, safe or good way to go. In your very first post you assumed that just because your one night stand was on the Pill you were safe as far as pregnancy. That is alarming that you thought that and a real sign to you I hope to get yourself better educated on this topic and your health.

 

again, i never said that. i just said that it was a relief that she is on the pill (because it is, lets face it, thats big. ) and the fact is, i can't prevent her from getting pregnant now. it is preaching, or maybe you just like to feel like you're more responsible and intelligent than other people, if i helped you in this endeavor, you're welcome. i don't think i said anything that implied im not educated about the subject, but that i made a bad decision, which i have acknowledged.

[GypsyMuse]

i have a feeling she's clean, but thats really just a feeling, so im gotta get checked.

 

Anyone can catch a cold and anyone who's sexually active can catch an STD. Germs are germs—they are indiscriminate. A girl who had a one-night stand at a party with you without protection is MORE likely to have STDs than one who didn't. I'm glad you're getting checked. Hopefully you got lucky and didn't pick up anything.

[watupgangsta]

Anyone can catch a cold and anyone who's sexually active can catch an STD. Germs are germs—they are indiscriminate. A girl who had a one-night stand at a party with you without protection is MORE likely to have STDs than one who didn't. I'm glad you're getting checked. Hopefully you got lucky and didn't pick up anything.

 

the only reason i say that is because, up until recently, she'd been going out with a guy i know who i'm positive has had very few partners. but like i said, i don't really know anything thats why im getting checked.

[Batya33]

My comment about you not being educated about this issue was from your comment that you were safe from her - someone you are not in a relationship with - getting pregnant because she is on the pill. It's not big in the least. You're not in a relationship with her so you have no idea if she takes it regularly, if she is taking something that interferes with it like antibiotics, or if she is even on it in the first place.

 

In that sense, yes, from your comment I am more knowledgeable than you are about the effectiveness of the Pill and about whether it is safe to have sex with a stranger without other protection just because the stranger is on the pill. If that wasn't helpful information, I'm sorry and I'm sorry if you took it the wrong way.