AnotherBrokenDoll Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 Just Seventeen - This poem could be triggering to people who suffer from self harm, eating disorders or suicidal thoughts. Just a warning. This sweet young girl, Just seventeen, She has this smile, Kind, so innocent, never mean. To those around her, she is the glue, The one who holds them tight, Yet when she is alone, her smiles are few. Silent tears fall down, Her face looks only to the ground. She’s waiting for someone to be her glue, Wishing that some day she would be found. Yet all they see are these fake smiles, To them she is so bright, Happiness they see, Never do they understand her fight. With deep new cuts, Secret trips to the bathroom, Tears are falling, She’s out of control, she knows what looms. Trying to stop, but she can't resist, Getting rid of her food, She doesn't want to feel like this, She needs to break this mood. So she cuts, she purges, She slices and vomits, The pain killers stop working, She dreams for the numbness. 88 pills, sit in front of her face, 88 pills tempt her fate, She doesn't want to die, But it may be too late. So she takes one, And just one more, She doesn't want to do this, She falls to the floor. She’s not so sweet, Not so kind, She’s not so innocent, She’s out of her mind. Scratching her skin, Cutting away, She can still feel your touch, She begs for you to go away. "Leave me alone!" She screams in vein, For no one is around, Is she truly this insane She takes the mirror, Her face it does reflect, She can feel that man, But where and how she cannot detect. She haunted, Shes scared, Fearful, Afraid. Nothing is left for her to do; She pours some pills into her hand, How many she doesn't know, Into her mouth, she feels herself floating off the land. Her vision is blurred, She turns her back, One moment your there, The next everything is black. Will she wake up? Just seventeen? There is no chance, This ending was never foreseen. 1 Link to comment
Jeen Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 Hi I love your poems, it is always filled with sow much emotion. This one really touched my hart. Hugs Jeen Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted May 11, 2008 Author Share Posted May 11, 2008 Jeen thankyou very much, i love having your support. Im always happy when people enjoy my writing, and when it touches people. Your comments mean alot too me. allnighter i do understand what you mean. Its not a very happy poem at all. But its my way of escaping. Its the way i express myself. You do not have to like it. As long as i am not offending people and some are enjoying my writing i will continue to post. Even if it is for my own selfish reasons. Im sorry you dont enjoy it, but next time you do not have to read my work. Not trying to be rude just that most of my poetry will be like this. Link to comment
karma85 Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 Omg! Mama's That Touched Me So Much I'm Like Teary Eyed Becuzof It. I Like This Poem Omg...did This Really Happen To U Or Ur Friend?...i Liked This Poem. It Almost Made Me Cryit Was Such A Good Poem. Can You Read Mine?.... Link to comment
agburns84 Posted May 11, 2008 Share Posted May 11, 2008 Absolutely amazing, there's nothing wrong with poetry that evokes so many different emotions, that's what writing is all about. Writing from the heart is the main aim in any sort of writing, especially poetry. I loved it, great work! Keep expressing yourself, I look forward to reading some more of your poems. Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted May 11, 2008 Author Share Posted May 11, 2008 allnighter you are right it could be triggering. I have put a warning at the top. Thankyou for making me aware of that. Karma85 Thankyou for your comment im glad you liked it and am sorry that it almost made you cry. It came from a mix of things. My feelings at that moment plus some of my own behaviours. But i am still here. agburns84 Thankyou again, thats exactly why i write to simply express my emotions. Link to comment
MissPhenominal2 Posted May 12, 2008 Share Posted May 12, 2008 Wow, I like this poem is really deep Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted May 12, 2008 Author Share Posted May 12, 2008 Thankyou very much MissPhenominal2 im glad you liked it. Link to comment
sunset sun rise lover Posted May 13, 2008 Share Posted May 13, 2008 nice poem keep it up Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted May 14, 2008 Author Share Posted May 14, 2008 Thankyou Carmel Love Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted May 15, 2008 Author Share Posted May 15, 2008 Thankyou misskitty. That actually meant quite alot. I right about how i feel. And when people critise the stuff inside it its almost like they are critising me. Dont get me wrong i always want people to be honest, i like to improve where i can, just when people are so negative about it it kind of cuts deep. So thankyou. Link to comment
girl friend Posted May 26, 2008 Share Posted May 26, 2008 WOW Incredible. Awesomely written hun. Is it true about the o-ding? Any truth in it at all there? girl friend Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted May 27, 2008 Author Share Posted May 27, 2008 The o-ding wasn't true, but the fact that i had 88 pills in front of my face as i wrote it was true. It was so hard to resist them but i did in a way. Theres bits of truth through it but mainly in the emotions rather then the situations. Thanks Girlfriend. I love getting your comments Link to comment
Jacanorie Posted May 29, 2008 Share Posted May 29, 2008 I love it. Amazingly thought provoking and emotional. A resounding success in my humble opinion. I shall have to watch out for your poems. =) Just a little but of constructive criticism? Take it or leave it lol. A few of the lines were a little too long. I suffer from that problem myself, sometimes I try to revise them and it flows and feels a lot better. Regardless of what fixing you do, congratulations on a magnificent poem! Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted May 29, 2008 Author Share Posted May 29, 2008 Jacanorie, thankyou I proboly won't change this one. But i will definitely keep that in mind for next time. Thanks. Link to comment
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