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After being cheated


tikkii

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Most here should know my story, if not ... search

 

I won't go into it again

 

I just want advice as to how soon is right to start dating or regularly seeing somebody after you've been deceived so much.

I thought I'd lost all faith in men, but now find I'm attracted to men again - when I wasn't that way while with him,

 

So, Am I rebound or 3 months later should I act on my impulses and have a life back at 35. I hate being 35, I'm attractive, look a lot younger but hate the dating scene. Should I just wait for a guy to 'find' me

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I went through a similar situation. (and I'm pretty much your age) My marriage ended after ten years - my ex was cheating. I did not go looking, but an old friend from highschool contacted me on facebook eight months after my ex left, we went out, started dating, and have now been together for seven months.

 

I still struggle with the insecurity that comes with having been cheated on, and have to fight the impulse to read this relationship based on what happened in my marriage. I am very insecure still and have to work desperately to keep that under check, having said that...my boyfriend is awesome, I am generally very happy and have more hope for a happy future than I have had for a long, long time...so should you? Hard to say. From my experience, it will be a struggle to feel safe...but a struggle could still be worth it.

 

I wouldn't go looking though yet. Let it come to you. Maybe the universe will deliver him up to you...on good days I feel like that...

on my insecure days I worry that it was too soon...

 

probably not too helpful...but best wishes...I've been where you are and it does get better...

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I was also worried that I would have a problem trusting after certain happenings in my life, but then I came to the conclusion that if I ever was going to find the right mate, I would have to be open and allow people in to my life. I didn't seek people out, but In being happy with myself and by myself, good people just seemed to keep popping in to my life. I say you should absolutley start dating again.

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I guess that is whenever you feel like you are ready. Everyone's different on that decision I'm sure. The only thing I can say is enjoy yourself and be careful not to rush into anything. There's plenty of time and it would be too bad if you meet someone and not give them a fair chance as well as meet someone and not be ready to see what you're getting in to. Good luck to you.

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