New developments (its been ages)

[Crows]

It has been ages since I Have been on here!

 

That's a good thing.

 

Anyway, most of yo will forget i'm assuming.

 

She broke up with me about 7 months ago. I was torn apart... we had shaky LC.. periods of NC, off and on. SHe got a new bf, dumped him becuause he was abusive, we talked, huing out a couple times near christmas, she said she wanted to get back together with me but was afraid that there was too much mud to move aside, so she went to this other guy who askedher out.. they dated for a month.... then broke up with him. IN that time, I had talked to her a few times and said how much I felt that aftera breakup time for yourself was nmeccesary and good and it's ok to be single sometimes.

 

Well after this most recent breakup of her last bf.. shes said all that to me. She wants to be single for now, but she also said that she wants to see if we could "give our connection another chance"

 

It was the weirdest thing. We had not talked for 2 months at all.. NC.. then one night i was walking home, and i was taking a piss on the train tracks in the bushes..... this car honks at me.. i ginore thinking it's dumb kids.. I was drunk.. then this girl comes around the corner and asks if it's me? I turn around and she leaves....... she texts me later to see if it was me.. and it was. She then tells me she feels bad that we never resolved some issues and that there was animosity between us.

 

WE have talked a bit and started to re connect again... talking about hanging out again soon, etc and.. she says shes glad we have put things to the side. We can talk normally agian and it's refreshing.

 

SHe says she wants to be friends.. but she also knows that I was hurt pretty bad at how she came back to me... we got so close to getting back together, then she jnust disappeared to this new guy. Again saying she was scared that I didnt want the same thing she wanted. SHe said she wanted to kiss me the night we went out for dinner but was petrified to let her feelings known becuase she thought Iw ould flat our reject her and only want to be friends.

 

She has also said.. that when we first started dating, she feels we jumped in too fast.

 

To me... it seems that she is trying to start something fresh between us.. with no animosity and it seems that she wants to start something new... but slower this time.. and not to jump in.

 

I will keep you all updated. I would apprecaite any comments or questions on this.

 

Thank you.

[dreamguy]

I wouldn't recommend a strict approach in this case such as refusing her friendship and reinstating NC.

 

My ex did that too on Christmas. I had found the strength to say goodbye in October and I went NC. A few weeks later she broke down and said she wanted to try again. Then she hesitated, once more, and she travelled again to pursue her career abroad.

 

It's better not to ask your ex what her intentions are in a direct way. Sooner or later, her behavior will unveil her true intentions. Just go with the flow and give it a month or two.

Let her do most (if not ALL) the contacting at first because you need to be sure that she is coming after you since she has already faltered in the past and left when you guys were so close to getting back together.

[EyesOnThePrize]

dreamguy - There are times I want to say to my ex "So, are we totally done forever?" just so I can get a better idea where she stands. And then I say to myself "Well, that's an unfair question for her. How can she possibly know that right now? Does she have a crystal ball?" I think that your suggestions for Crows make sense in light of her past behavior.

[Crows]

She is a girl of confusion.. she is a girl who can't make up her mind about many things in life. She has told me how strong she felt when we hung out in february... and that she still feels a big connection with me.

 

We talked the other night and she agreed that we should hang out or go for dinner sometime soon.. now it's only been 2-3 days, but she hasn't repsonded to my text messages asking her. She's done another disappearing act. I guess I will now just take your advice and let her contact me again.