"A lid for every jar"?

[Stephanie JB]

Hey guys, I've just joined this site so I'm apologizing beforehand if this is in the wrong forum. Anywho, I've got a question. I think we've all heard that saying that there's a "lid for every jar", or basically that there's a true love out there for all of us. But I'm at this point in my life where I can honestly look into my future and see no hopeful little hearts. Because of some experiences in my life, I have a very hard time opening up to people, or I'm just shy.

 

I don't know, sorry if that was a bit confusing.

 

I mean, when you first met your loved one, how did you know? Were you in the same position I'm in?

 

Thank you!

[danilala]

Well, you can never tell what'll happen in the future so I wouldn't get down about it. When it's meant to happen, it'll happen! =)

[rocio]

Welcome to ENA, Stephanie.

 

I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 24. I enjoyed my single life too much to sacrifice it for some guy.

 

Some girls might feel sorry for me, especially the ones who think you're not complete unless you have a boyfriend. But now we are married and have a beautiful daughter and I'm glad to have had those single years.

 

I think that you're young and you shouldn't worry about what's going to happen in 1 or 5 or 10 years from now. Just focus on enjoying the phase that you're in now, and always growing as a person so that, when you do find someone special, you will have lots to give.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I don't think there is just one person out there for us.

 

If two people tried hard enough, they could be happy together.

[renaissancewoman101]

Like the others, I do think there are more than one person we can be happy with, not like there is just ONE person out there.

 

But as one gets older and one doesn't seem to meet that "someone", it does seem like there aren't that many out there for them.

[RayKay]

I know this comes off as kind of "dismissive" but sweetie, you are incredibly young. I almost guarantee that you will likely not only meet a few people you date in the next years...you will probably have few heartbreaks too. All part of growth.

 

I don't agree with the idea there is a "lid for every jar" though as if there is a "perfect" fit....no one is perfect by any means. Plus it kind of gives the impression the jar sits around waiting for the lid, or is needed to make the jar complete...and well, you should honestly both be "complete" as you are! Besides, anyone who has a tupperware container knows matching jars and lids is not such an easy thing when you are in a rush...lol.

 

However, what you can find is a partner with whom you find compatibilities, acceptance, respect and love for one another. To really get there, you also really need to have love, acceptance and respect for yourself first....and that is why being single and taking the time to learn yourself and not rush is so important. Don't be in a rush....there is certainly more than one person out there with whom you can develop this with...so don't panic.

[Excalibur]

There's no one right person for anybody - there's alot of right persons for everybody.

 

As you constantly grow and expand your self-awareness - you'll want a different type of person.

[Stephanie JB]

Thank you, all of these posts really helped me a lot.

 

I guess with society today and the things on the media I feel like I have to rush into a relationship in order to feel better about myself. But I see now that that's not necessarily true... what a relief.

[NoPainNoGain]

Do your thing,live life to the fullest and when you least expect it they will pop in.

[Loltastic]

Hey guys, I've just joined this site so I'm apologizing beforehand if this is in the wrong forum. Anywho, I've got a question. I think we've all heard that saying that there's a "lid for every jar", or basically that there's a true love out there for all of us. But I'm at this point in my life where I can honestly look into my future and see no hopeful little hearts. Because of some experiences in my life, I have a very hard time opening up to people, or I'm just shy.

 

I don't know, sorry if that was a bit confusing.

 

I mean, when you first met your loved one, how did you know? Were you in the same position I'm in?

 

Thank you!

 

A bit shy? I had to go through months of behavioral cognitive therapy to get myself to go to a job interview, I am more "shy" than any person I have ever met... on top of that I have never really crushed on any girls, I thought I was gay or something cos it just never happened I had been out with a few girls in highschool but just didnt want to be with anyone and usually dumped them very fast. A year a go I thought I would ALWAYS be alone and I accepted it.

 

Then one day this girl I had never really paid attention to at work came up to me blushing and asked for my msn... lol, I thought she was planning some sort of office joke on me (paranoia much?) but I started chatting to her on msn and she was really interesting, to the point where I confronted my biggest fear in life (social situations lawl) and asked her out to a movie. For about 2 weeks we never held hands, kissed or even acted like we liked each other because we were too shy to admit it, we were both afraid the other just wanted to be friends

 

So for her birthday I had a dozen roses delivered to her at work, after work she came up and held my hand and we have been in love since lol.

 

One thing she has shown me is that every jar has its lid

[Aleadragonhawk]

One day when I was in the ceramics studio I saw a woman with a set of jars, maybe five or six. They were from a friend of hers who had young children who had broken the lids. Now that the children were older her friend wanted to get lids for the jars. So the woman worked very hard to make the lids, throwing three or four lids for each jar and having to discard many batches.

 

Why? Because the clay shrinks as it dries. Even when you know the percent that it shrinks, it's very very hard to get something to come out precisely the right size and shape - then you have the lids that break as greenware, crack in the bisque, or are ruined in the highfire.

 

Finding a perfect fit is nearly impossible, both in pottery and in love.

[ladyblue07]

Yep, just give it time. Almost nobody finds their lifelong love at the age of 18, or even early 20s. Those years are just for figuring out who you are, and only then once you're done with that will you be ready for someone else to be part of your life for keeps.

It'll happen when the time is right. Trust me, I used to think I'd end up all alone, but I'm with an amazing man now who is better than I ever dreamed.

[NoPainNoGain]

One day when I was in the ceramics studio I saw a woman with a set of jars, maybe five or six. .

 

 

I remember ceramics in high school. I made a cool bong and threw it in the kilm . Teacher gave me an A+

[shadowdreamz]

I mean, when you first met your loved one, how did you know? Were you in the same position I'm in?

 

Thank you!

 

Hmmm... well when I met my SO for the first time it was in an online game and I wasn't really looking. He scared me so much cause I felt that he was someone who could really break my heart. Meaning that we clicked immediately and I knew that he could hurt me if I ever fell for him. Good news is he hasn't hurt me yet. Dunno if that makes sense.