MsBear Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 It's been a long time since I last post here... I started to look at this site 1 year and 3 months ago, it helped me a lot after my break-up... I came here everytime I had a set back and thanks to everyone's advice I got back on track again... Now, I'm here again, the memories are killing me, I do not know what to do ??? I and my ex no longer talk to each other, the last time was in Jan when he wished me Happy New Year so it's not like I have something to hold me back from my healing process... Suddenly these days, the memories keep flooding back in my head and they are driving me crazy... I walked pass the sticker booth, I remember him and his friend taking funny pics, I sat on the bus, I remember times when we travelled around ...how come good memories came back so vigorously ??? It's been nearly 1 and a half year !!! And despite all the horrible cheating, using me of his !!! I am in a mess of my revision and my exams coming soon ...and I can't get my head around my books =(( I don't know what it is now ??? I just don't get it...oh I even dreamt of him yesterday ... do I still love him or so ??? I saw him online and nearly wanted to ask him how he's been but I knew it'd be boring conversation so I didnt do anything. BUT My life is very good at the moment, I have lots of friends, I travelled and had lot of fun, I am in good shape and healthy... Has anyone had this kind of moment and how to overcome it ??? Link to comment
i_win Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 What you are experiencing is very normal. I had a big relapse about 5 months out and it was almost like being back to square one...but once I got through this...it seemed like I was fully healed and rarely thought about them. Just stay strong and do what you know is right. Realize that contacting that person will get you no where. Good job and stay strong. I would also agree that you should feel free to get out there and start meeting others and find something else to focus your time on. It will help. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 memories are no reason to hold on to a realtionship hun. you need to learn how to let go of those. sure, you aren't going to forget them ... but you need to let them go so that you can move on and heal. thinking about the past and all the memories is only a set back, obviously as you have been set back. yes, i've had these moments ... im going through it now. it's hard not to think of the happy times ... but happy memories are no reason to stay in a relationship or in your case to dwell on one. Link to comment
MsBear Posted April 30, 2008 Author Share Posted April 30, 2008 At the moment, I am very okay with myself, I go out with my housemates, friends, people from societies... It's very weird that I used to get lots of attention when I was at highschool but now I have only friends to hang out with, they love me as a friend and none of them has a particular interest in me.. I am not desperate for a boyfriend or anything at the moment. And now the memories are killing me and I've asked myself "what ifs" million times =(( it's just horrible ! I even thought about his ex before me, and the thinking of me being the rebound girl drove me mad =((... God bless me, I want these moments to go away.. Link to comment
barbielovesmac Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 God bless me, I want these moments to go away.. I am in the middle of a very messy, painful breakup as most of us are on this site. So we do know what you are going through. You just have to believe that yes, in time these moments WILL go away. Read up on some of my posts. I just posted one yesterday ... take a look at it. Read that thread and the thread within it ... Link to comment
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