Jump to content

I'm a Mess, Is It Worth It Anymore?

Recommended Posts

I was cheated on recently by my ex g/f for three years. I couldn't believe it and I never saw it coming. She says it was only that one night that I caught her in the act making out with and and hugging on him. I was depressed and in deep despair. I claimed myself as single and I started moving on with my life. She would call, she would cry, and she would do whatever it took to get me back in touch with her. I decided to communicate with her and see her again b/c some of the things she told me really felt like she wanted to work things out. I knew she was cheating on me, I could tell by her changes and how she acted, she was a complete different person. The next week things just didn't seem right so I gave up and did NC for a whole week. She would call 20 times a night, cry, say she couldn't go on without me, everything I pretty much wanted to hear. Fact is, the guy she cheated on me with is out of town until the summer and she works with him. During NC she told me she would change everything her job, her apt, her life, and her friends.. im not so sure.


The day before I caught her cheating on me I was at a bar/club making out with another girl. Difference was, I didn't know her, didn't get to know her, and did it because she was pushing me away (cheating). I know it was wrong but I was so unhappy and I felt like this was a way to move on because I knew I was cheated on. After I broke up (after I caught her), I started dating one of my co-workers, inwhich i told my ex, which she didn't take lightly.


After the NC she made some changes, she called me more, asked me to do things more, asked me to stay over more, she told me she would quit her job and start teaching so we could be together more and work things out. Fact is, I think she is waiting for the other guy to get back in town. She says she wants things to work out but doesn't know if it will, I believe she is thinking that when he gets back she doesn't know what she is going to do and who to decide on and which way to take her life.


I peeked at her phone and I saw a text from that guy before he left claiming he will tell his friends overseas they are b/f and g/f. She says she never responded to it and i didn't have time to check it. She says he messaged her on myspace about it and why she didn't respond but she never responded back. He took her off the top friends list so maybe she is telling the truth, I guess I don't have that trust there to back me up.


In conclusion I have deep feelings for this girl but I realize I have been cheated on and it could happen again I also found out that it wasn't just that one night because I saw pics of them together while searching her computer (on her friends private profiles, i did some hacking). I don't know if i should just move or face her with it. Fact is, it will only make things worse. I just don't want to make a mistake.. I don't want to give up on her if she really means what she says b/c she is in fact getting things together to teach, however I don't want to be left on the backburner to be cheated on and lied to again. Any Advice?

Link to comment

I think you need to tell her everything you know, everything you are feeling and every doubt about her that you have. If she cannot reassure you then move on. That will be very difficult for her to do but she should be given the chance.

Link to comment

Okay well I have been finding out that she has been giving her numbers to some random guys. She has plans to date them too. I'm extremley hurt because I wanted to believe that she was being truthful when she said that she wanted to work things out. Just the other day I stayed the night and she acted like a real g/f. She was open and honest with me and everything. We made love and it was good, I felt like things could be salvaged. Then I see the text of how her g/f gave some guy her number who works at another bar in downtown than her. He asked her out and I saw on the call log they have been talking. I called her yesterday after I stayed the night and I have not heard back from her. I know its time to move on. She ditched me.. I know she has and it hurts b/c now my pride is hit hard and I feel dumped.. which I am. This is absolutley the worst feeling in the world. I know I have to be a man and be strong but in all honesty I'm sensitive.. I just learn to fake things well.

Link to comment

You should move on, do extreme NC. Don't take any form of contact from her. This is just a bad toxic relationship. And NoPain is right, she tainted the relationship and she obviously doesn't feel bad enough about it to stop seeing other guys.


You should cut this tumor from your life.

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...