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i love him but.....

sammy girl

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i'm so confused. i'm not sure if i want to break up with him. i'm very busy trying to establish myself after my marriage broke up etc.


now that i have a reg. boyfriend...... i just don't want any boyfriend.


i know i'm hurting him. i just feel crazy because i don't understand myself.


is it true that if he were "the one"...... i wouldn't really be having confusion. i have not spent any real time with him... (like over 45 min) in over a month now. he asks me every day to see him.... and i make up excuses. i don't like how i feel around him, like he doesn't understand me... which is strange because we were such great friends before we started this relationship.


it feels like we have become more uptight with one another....etc.


when i told him the reasons that i felt we weren't right for one another, he said.... "that's not good enough.... your stuck with me".... and kind of giggled... he didn't mean it in a controlling way.... it was him sort of being sad and trying to hang on...


anyway.... i'm confused and don't understand what is going on with me....


any insight?

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i know it's true...


but i love him as person. it's hard to end it, esp. when he is such a kind caring person. i guess it seems pretty simple, but i am agonizing over what to do.... i don't want to lose such a great guy, but at the same time i don't want to be around him much.


just end it?

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i feel the same way but when i try he says that he wants to be patient and wait for me...


the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.


i just don't know if it's gonna change. i've never gone through this in any relationship. he is so patient.

my marriage was extremely abusive and my x was very controlling and dominant.


that is why i want to be with my new guy, i love how sweet he is and really don't want to lose him....


i know i am not making sense....

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i dont think the new guy is the problem. When you make up these excuses not to hangout with him what do you do instead. Is it because you don't want him to turn out like your ex in the long run, because im sure your ex was nice in the beggining too.

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It would suck to waste something that could have been really good. I feel like I just want everyone to leave me alone when I have a lot of stuff going on. But if these feelings stay longer than a week or 2 then it might be time to end things. Unless you really feel like he just isn't the guy for you of course.

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Tell him it is fine if he wants to be patient and wait for you - but for now and until you say otherwise, you're not accepting his calls or seeing him socially or in bed.


He'll move on..when you're not an option.


That's why you're moving on - you're sure there are other options.

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