volpe Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 It must be the hot spot for dates! (I don't mind) Cause yesterday while studying at the cafe, a guy struck up a convo after I smashed a fly on the table. We talked for an hour and a half or so, it was a good convo... and we have a lot of common interests. Very polite, respectable type of guy who liked to talk and listen, it was good. So anyways, he was about to leave and asked me if I came often and gave me his card with his info and reached out a couple of times to touch my shoulder. I really enjoyed talking to him. Anyways, does that look like a good sign or what? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 Seems fine - a little surprising that he didn't ask for your number - what if he never saw you again? Why not call him and see if he asks you out? Link to comment
hockeyplaya44 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 I think some guys give girls their number without getting one themself so the girl has to call in order for contact to be made. This takes away any doubt in the guy's mind that the girl is interested or not. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 I think some guys give girls their number without getting one themself so the girl has to call in order for contact to be made. This takes away any doubt in the guy's mind that the girl is interested or not. Most guys I know would not want to risk never seeing someone again who they clicked with, and would prioritize that over the fear of rejection (and after all she spoke to him for 1.5 hours - not a huge chance of rejection). Link to comment
volpe Posted April 28, 2008 Author Share Posted April 28, 2008 i dunno... i don't know. he made it clear he wanted me to email him about some info, which i did, so i will just see what he says in response. he mentioned a couple of times he wanted to come with me to my yoga studio. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 Great - like I said, sounds fine, just a little surprised that he didn't get your number. Keep us posted! What happened with the other guy? Link to comment
wheezy84 Posted April 28, 2008 Share Posted April 28, 2008 Is this in the US? I dunno why girls talk as if guys approach them every other day and its so easy. I have never been approached, except by sleazy guys in clubs! Link to comment
volpe Posted April 29, 2008 Author Share Posted April 29, 2008 i never saw the other guy again. i don't know batya, but i think the other poster is right. i think it's a way not to be totally vulnerable to rejection. put the ball in my court and see what i do Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 i never saw the other guy again. i don't know batya, but i think the other poster is right. i think it's a way not to be totally vulnerable to rejection. put the ball in my court and see what i do OK - Just going on my experience and others' (hundreds would be an underestimate). good luck! Link to comment
scotty77 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 OK - Just going on my experience and others' (hundreds would be an underestimate). good luck!I think Batya is right on this one.Even someone as stupid as me[when it comes to interpreting a woman's interest level] would realize that if a woman you just met is willing to talk to you for 90 minutes then there is a good chance she is interested.That doesn't mean he isn't interested[he probably is]but he should have asked for your number .However I think you should definitely pursue it. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Honestly, it would be a turn off to me if a guy couldn't even get up the courage to ask for my number - there are so many ways to do that without being transparent as in "I want to date you" - business reasons, a common interest you want to keep in touch on, etc. I've done it and if I have they can. If he was that shy after I showed interest to even get my number - he'd rather risk never seeing me again - then I doubt we'd make a great match. When I was 19 I met a boyfriend one night when I was very ill with a cold. He was the brother of my friend's friend. I showed interest and he didn't ask for my number - I was a little surprised. He also felt badly but he felt awkward because there were other people around and I think I gave the impression that i just wanted to get home (which I did, I was a vector of disease, I tell ya). Anyway, because I had pointed to my office building he was able to figure out where I worked, called the company, was lucky that I was the only one with my first name there, and reached me. I also knew he could get my number through a friend. But a guy who just meets a woman randomly and he's interested but lets his fear of her saying "no" to the number take priority? Please. Most women wouldn't be rude they'd just make up a polite excuse, anyway. Link to comment
scotty77 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Sounds like that guy was highly interested Batya! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Sounds like that guy was highly interested Batya! He was - it was something I remembered for many years. He also gave me my first dozen roses - on the second date which was valentine's day. We dated for about 8 months. It was a good relationship but ultimately not right. I am not saying that every guy has to go to those lengths but he was not the first and from all the stories I have heard - so many - when a man wants to get in touch with a woman, he does. Back then there was no internet, no cell phones, no answering machines (not for most people) and I lived with my parents of course. So that meant looking in the phone book but only if you had a last name. These days it's easier to ask for a number -because most people carry a cell phone or PDA - and you can ask for an email address which is less intrusive which couldn't happen back then. That is one reason of many I have this opinion. Link to comment
volpe Posted April 29, 2008 Author Share Posted April 29, 2008 Truth is, the only times guys have asked for my number is when I was at clubs and the dudes were creepy... and I never give my number out. So, I don't really expect it... but yeah, he mentioned a couple of times he should come with me to yoga and I didn't jump on it or respond to it at all. So maybe that's why, I don't know. ????????? Do you think because he didn't ask me for my number he wasn't all that interested? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 No, I think in this case it's fine, but if you read what I wrote twice I was slightly surprised he didn't ask for yours. Slightly. If I were in your shoes (or standing on your yoga mat) I would call with no expectations. Which is what I usually would do as far as any stranger I only met once, but I would keep slightly in the back of my mind that he didn't try to get my number. Link to comment
stella74 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 I have a story like Batya's. In those ancient pre-Internet, cell phone, answering machine days, I met a cute guy in a record store and we chatted for a while. It turned out he'd graduated from the school I was going to for college. We hit it off, but then the friend I was with interrupted us abruptly and said we had to go. I said goodbye and left. This guy remembered my first name and the dept. I was in and he called up the college to find out my last name. Then he looked me up in the phone book and got my number. A+ for effort! We were in a relationship for about a year. Moral of story - if the guy is really interested, he will make the effort to get your phone number. As Batya says, it doesn't mean he's not interested if he doesn't ask. But it's something to keep in mind in terms of your expectations. Link to comment
volpe Posted April 29, 2008 Author Share Posted April 29, 2008 Yeah, that's fine... No expectations no matter what... even if a guy shows a lot of interest I have no expectations, cause that can fade... so yeah, I don't have expectations of anything.... it's just nice to get a lead every now and then. Hah! Link to comment
stella74 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Yes, you're absolutely right! Good luck! Link to comment
shy2cool Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Say hello to your next potential boyfriend. Unless he is a cheating, lying scumbag. It's hard to tell. People in general are untrustworthy. It's very hard to be able to trust anyone these days. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 what if a guy at a club asked if he could go to yoga with you? bet that would be weird. this guy was probably sober. Link to comment
boo121 Posted April 29, 2008 Share Posted April 29, 2008 Just ask for a phone number - and arrange a date. i hate this (oh give me a call sometime) vague stuff that people do. Link to comment
volpe Posted April 30, 2008 Author Share Posted April 30, 2008 Hm... well, he gave me his card with number and email... that night I sent him an email with the info I couldn't remember when I saw him... and just said it was nice talking to you. I thought he might write back and say it was nice talking to you too, when can we hang out... Of course it's been almost two full days and all he did was send me the issue email for his organization. Which is great, I love his work and all, it's good stuff... But, I'd also like to just get to know who HE is. So, I don't know... I was thinking to write him back and just say I liked his work, but I want HIM to ask me out. I don't want to ask him. Or I suppose I could say that and just put my phone number there. And then if he calls me I know and if he doesn't I know... ??? I kinda don't want to take the risk to put myself out there. We had a good conversation and he should be man enough to ask me out, I think! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 I would take a response like that as he wanted to make sure you were on his mailing list and he wouldn't mind seeing you at one of his events and hopes you forward the e-mail concerning his organization. I would not hold out hope that he is interested in dating you but if you want to spend the time going to his events so he can see you there and get to know you, who knows (I wouldn't unless I was very interested in the event regardless of his presense there). I think it's fine to write back "thanks for sending me the information about your organization -- have a great week!" Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 stop freakin emailing. call him up. see if he wants to meet up for coffee. that's where you met him so it's a common interest and could mean anything. Link to comment
CaptainPlanet Posted April 30, 2008 Share Posted April 30, 2008 It must be the hot spot for dates! (I don't mind) Cause yesterday while studying at the cafe, a guy struck up a convo after I smashed a fly on the table. We talked for an hour and a half or so, it was a good convo... and we have a lot of common interests. Very polite, respectable type of guy who liked to talk and listen, it was good. So anyways, he was about to leave and asked me if I came often and gave me his card with his info and reached out a couple of times to touch my shoulder. I really enjoyed talking to him. Anyways, does that look like a good sign or what? He is definently not after tea and orange slice if that is what you are asking.This is definently a good sign and you should persue it further. Link to comment
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