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New gf, trouble getting over last relationship


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I made a post about this a few days ago while my head was still spinning. Now i have a clearer head and can probably add in more details that may help with advice.


I met a girl about a month ago, she was great i took her to a concert, she had a great time and i knew she was attracted to me right from the start. She texted me everyday for the next two weeks, she was really interested in me. We hung out the next weekend, and at the end of the night we kissed. (which was all good), the third weekend we hung out at my house and we watch a movie and snuggled and kissed, and that was about it. At the end of the night i asked her to be my girlfriend. She said yes without any hesitation. Everything was great for the next week, and the following weekend we hung out at her place all day and had a great time once again.


The week following the weekend we hung out at her house is when things started getting strange. I could tell just by her text messages something was right. She seemed a little distant and i knew something about us was bothering her.


The next weekend (this past weekend). We went out and got some food and she told me that "she is still having trouble dealing with her last relationship." She said her relationship ended 7 months ago, but it was still a little tough for her, and going into a new relationship brought back some of those old feelings and she didn't know how to deal with it. I tried to be comforting and tell her, it's ok, and that i understand. I went through a similar situation.

I suggested that we take our relationship slowly and keep the pressure off and she seemed to agree. She said she really likes me it's just she is having a tough time dealing with the old feelings. She does see her ex everyday due to school, but that is going to end in a few weeks.


The next morning (after the talk), we went out to breakfast and had a pretty good time. My head was still spinning so i may have come off as a little cold, but i tried to keep my head up. She was flirty like she was before all of this happened and at the end i gave her a hug before she left and she followed up with a kiss. Im just confused because i really don't know what to think. She is a really great girl with great morals, but this old relationship stuff has me a bit worried. She did also say that "I don't want him back, i just have all of these old feelings".


Is it normal to have old feelings come back when a new relationship is started? If so, do those feelings eventually move aside?


She said she is still really attracted to me, and i agreed to slow the pace, will that help in the long run?

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I'm dealing with a similar situation. I met my LDR ex about 4 months after she broke up with a guy who affected her negatively, and more deeply than I realized. We were together 6 months then she broke it off, commitmentphobia being one of the reasons. A few months later she told me she was still affected by her ex, even though she hadn't seen him in a year and didn't want to get back with him.


Long story short, we've been broken up for 4 months and I let her have her space. But she consistently initiated contact, we've talked, and now we're going to spend a week together in 10 days. I don't know what will happen after that, but one thing's for sure: giving her the space she needed has helped bring us closer together... at least for now.


So you're doing the right thing - don't rush things or crowd her. And as long as you're getting what you want out of the relationship, let her set the pace and try to put on a good face and not be needy. Hopefully this will put her more at ease with your relationship. Good luck.

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