Funniest Sex Stories

[AP Arianna]

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Hi guys! This is my first self-proposed topic in this forum. I just thought you might want to share some funny sex stories (maybe they weren't so funny when they happened, right?). Have you been caught by your parents? Had an "accident" happen while having sex? Please share your stories!!

[S4il]

Hmm, well i have not yet had sex, so i'll have to get back to you on this one.

 

But i can share a story that one of my friends told me, it has to do with a Dog, a really strange Dog, You see the dog had a problem with my friend and is G/F having sex together, inside there apartment they were allowed to have pets, so they got this puppy, a huskie (looks like mar's Icon exactly) *don't they all* any ways..this dog growing up was really cute, friendly, and notorious for getting himself into trouble, (dogs name is ENOK)

 

to continue ENOK would always have a problem with the B/F and G/F having sex, i didn't understand this becase i never heard fo this before. the dog would literly RUN into the DOOR of the room they were having sex in. it was like he KNEW, or he could SMELL/SENSE it whatever the reason was, ENOK wanted in, and trust me it gets worse....so when they were having sex they had to put up with this ......BANG.............BANG Scratch Scratch Scratch...(silence for a couple of sec's)............BANG! BANG! BANG! he would Throw himself into the DOOR, (I laughed so hard when i heard this) but still why ENOK did this i'm not sure, but he would only do this while they were having sex..no other time would he start this sort of behavior.

 

one time they let him in...Ok this is were it get worse, while they were in bed together ENOK would sit on the side of the bed and watch, waiting for any type of movement, and the slighetest motion under the covers, ENOK would jump on the the bed and begin to BIT whatever he could grab with his TEETH, well this was the last time that happened, then soon learned that ENOK had to Go, ENOK was a problem and it had to be taken care of....either they had to get a ride of him, or continue to deal with that annoying behavior, (yes they tried to tie him up) but he would bark and wake up everyone else in the aparment, And the people above/below would complain..so it was the only solution they had, find another home for ENOK, WELL guess what......

 

 

ENOK IS LAYING NEXT TO ME...in MY ROOM, and is on cloud 9..having a new home, no problems so far (been about 6 months) and is the perfect malumute husky. only bad thing i can think of he has to much winter fur, and it get everywhere, other than that ENOK, now called "CRACKERJAXS" (long story) is happpy and content with me, and i'm glad to have taken him in..to save him from being put down.

 

 

Thats my Stroy Hope you liked it.

[Juniebug]

LOL! S4il, I am guessing you are single? Nice story.

 

Imagine being a guy and you are about to make love to your gf. You start kissing her softly and making your way down... you suck her neck and make her moan.... moving down to kiss her breasts but as you are kissing them, you hear her stomach making unflattering noises along with the moan, but you manage to let it go.... you move further down to kiss her stomach, concentrating to make your way down town and give your gf the ulitimate bliss... just when you are about to kiss her other soft lips... you hear her belch out the biggest burp you have ever heard! Needless to say the mood was killed.

 

hehe, excuse me, I had a heavy dinner that day. I cracked up right after wards and so did he. What a romantic story heh?

[S4il]

Well it's a good thing the GAS came out on the top rather than *well I'm not going to say* you know what I'm talking about...

 

Crackerjacks keeps me company, he is mans best friend....really I'm starting to think my dog has a Human personality, he does some pretty off the wall things when he is around. lets just hope he doesn't repeat what he did in the past, or there will be consequences and repercussions.

 

*punishment* (That being no scobby snacks for "Crackerjacks")

[buffalosoldier]

My boyfriends cat seems to have a problem with me

 

Whenever we are getting a bit frisky,in she comes and just starts headbutting the pair of us and purring right in our ear holes lol.Its quite hard when your trying to be intimate and all you can see is a cats butt in your face trying desperately to get some attention!!! Trouble is im really really allergic to cats aswell,and sneezing all over my bf doesnt help matters either!

 

Im looking forward to reading more funny stories,im glad someone posted this topic!!

[akatoro]

Euh, let's see.

 

Was it the time my stupid father came knocking at the door and refused to leave, or when we were outlandish in a hotelroom and she nearly beat me up once she came.

 

I'll go with the hotelroom story I s'pose. It's not long, so don't worry.

Well we had wonderful sex and she was on top. Then when she came she just pushed down on my chest for a couple of seconds and then she raised one hand and beat my chest with it. I had three large red marks, almost bruises, for two days afterwards. Looked kinda strange at the beach and all.. It was kinda fun anyways

[lil_mamarains13]

I guess the funny thing I have is when I hooked up with my new boyfriend. The first day we started to talk we had sex in my car. We both acted like virgins shaking and being nervous. Then one time at his mom's house we had sex, and then I got dressed, and went to the bathroom to clean up. He sat in the bedroom naked, and I met his brother as I was going to the bathroom, and I told him not to go in there, but he did anyway. I laugh about that still because I know that had to be embarrasing for both of them. I went back in there and my bf had my bag of clothes next to him covering himself. HA HA! Okay so maybe it wasn't that great of a story for ya'll, but I thought it was hilarious.

[The Morrigan]

LMAO - good we can find humor in awkward situations!

 

Well, this is another animal one... My ex and I were taking a "lunch break" at his house between college classes, and he'd just acquired a new kitten. Well, we were watching TV in the living room on the floor, and one thing started to lead to another... we forgot the kitten. Next thing I know he jumps off me with a shriek - seems the kitten was looking from an err, interesting viewpoint, and just saw a couple things bouncing that looked like they'd be fun to pounce on!!! Needless to say, we ended up with one terrified kitten, one affronted bf who was no longer in the mood - and me, who couldn't stop giggling hysterically! He didn't appreciate that... but the look on his face was priceless...

[SweetypieEnlightenedOne]

The funniest sex story I have doesnt even really involved me, it involves my boyfriend and his hand. In lack of better words, i caught him "RED HANDED" and he was just about to climax and I walked in opened the shower and saw his face. I fell over laughing, it was so funny. He was mortified.

[taria]

ok well this started ages ago me and this fella were having a real nice time we went out to the pictures and after wards we went for a walk down town well we found a spot that was deadly silent and things got a bit heavy i was in the middle on a bj wen a police car came around the corner sirens blearin well i laffing my hewad of at the guy who was wi me he had to drop to the floor to pull pants back on and then the police got out of the car and told us to carry on for the free peep show and then 1 ofn the male officers told the lad i was with to get in there and handed him a rubber i laffed my head of the guy who was with me had gravel stuck to his but from where he had to roll on the floor for hios trousers and hung hid head in shame all the way home

[ForAnother]

I was having sex with my gf in her bed, and her headboard squeaked like a *bleep*. Well it was loose and it would bang against the wall a little. So I grabbed the headboard and pulled it towards me to keep it away from the wall. Right as I came, I pulled really hard on the head board and it broke and fell over with a huge thud. lol made more noise than I thought it would. I just layed there ontop of her laughing my butt off.

 

For another

[sisterlynch]

The teenage girl is having sex with her boyfriend for the first time, only to be interrupted by her father coming home unexpectedly! Later she calls her girlfriend to let her know what had happened. So girl #2 says to girl #1, what did you think about sex, did you like it? Girl #1 says it was fine -- until my father came! Girl #2 says, your father Came?! then #1 says yeah he came home while we were doing it. I laughed so hard the first time I heard that!!

[AP Arianna]

Oh God!

I don't know if this has ever happened to you before... I used to think it wasn't normal but now I know it's pretty common. But still.. don't you hate it when you're having sex and airt comes in and out of you? It's like a gas sound, but it's not. It just totally kills the mood!

It happened to me once and I just couldn't stop laughing, so we ended up watching TV

[Mobi0]

we were there goin for it when the head boared was hittin the wall behind it we were round at hers and i didnt want her dad to hear so i had the same idea as foranother well at that time her dad came up the stars i didnt hear and she jumped a mile movin me backwards and breakin the head board witch landed on her head knockin her unconious (dont know how to spell it like asleep) and it was pretty funney when her dad came in wonderin what the noise was just to find me ontop of her and her with the boared on fer he was ok but she didnt really like it but he made us split up and if he didnt he would tell her mum and mine..........lol

 

Adam