How does your ex:s friends treat you?

[AronSchneider]

What happened with your common friends?

 

My ex dumped me 1, 5 months ago and we were together for five years. It is little strange. Two weeks ago I got a very non-friendly (haughty) look and a hello from on of her friend’s boyfriend. The reason I think was that my ex made out with his friends just days after she dumped me. When I write hello on MSN to two of her friends, that I have knew for more then five years. One of them does not even write back to me on MSN, the other one just wrote back “Hey” and then logged out a few seconds later. This Friday I was on a party and I met two of my ex friends.

 

Well, Not friends but rather long distant friends. One of them said “Hey, what’s up with Maya” (assumed name). Well we are not together anymore and tried to look happy, I thought you knew I answered her. She went like, well I didn’t but this was maybe for the best and left me. The other friend’s friend was little more polite, she went like. I’m sorry I didn’t know and ended a good conversation fast. I told this to her when she asked ten minutes in the conversation. When I had my ex, I got some invited to parties, they was always polite and so on. Its only two people that has been nice to me and I haven’t met many sense my ex dumped me. The first on is my friends girlfriend that is a good friend to my ex, the other one is a not so close friend to my ex but hangs around rather often with us. She was very polite and talkactive.

 

My ex said to me when she dumped me that her friends hated me. She was right. How does your ex friends treat you?

[pumpkinmoon]

I have no contact with them

[Brokenhearted87]

Never knew them as only met them in passing a few times, so it's not an issue for me at all. I guess I should be glad it makes a LITTLE less complicated. I know my ex lost touch with friends he had made through his ex ex and he really hated that. Sorry I can't be of more help

[Cognitive_Canine]

My ex's best friend hates me. Then again, he never was all that nice.

 

His other best friend is still nice to me. He and I always hit it off pretty well.

 

I haven't seen them for a long, long time though.

[AronSchneider]

Never knew them as only met them in passing a few times, so it's not an issue for me at all. I guess I should be glad it makes a LITTLE less complicated. I know my ex lost touch with friends he had made through his ex ex and he really hated that. Sorry I can't be of more help

 

 

It’s a big problem for me because two of my friends are together with two of my ex: s friends. But that is not all. The main issue is that we hanged out a lot in a group. It was my friends and her friends and everybody hanged out. The last two years a lot of her friends and my friends have moved to other cities and so will I after the summer. But its still nagging me that I will be excluded from many of this parties, but then again. I have started to make new friends now and I will make 100 new friends when I start on my Master program. Still, I’m going to miss my ex and some of our common friends. But then again, I’m glad that I don’t need go to dinnerparties at her dads and his new wife’s mansion.

[mke11077]

My ex and I had an on and off relationship for almost 2 years. We decided a few months ago that although we loved spending time together it was best we forget dating and just be friends. Her and I are of different religions and could never seem to compromise on anything regarding that matter, but were great as friends.

 

As far as her friends there's no problems at all, it's her sister. She lives with her sister and she tries to control her life, always asking her who she's on the phone with and where she's going. My ex can't even talk on the phone with me if her sister is there because she always gives her s*** about talking to me. She likes to exaggerate stories and has told all kinds of lies about me, I'm assuming to get her friends to hate me as well.

 

It's getting to the point where I don't even wanna talk to my ex anymore so I don't have to deal with all this. I know how you're feeling... It sucks when people hate you and they don't even know the real story behind why they feel that way towards you.

[pumpkinmoon]

I dont really give a crap what my ex's friends think of me, most of them are sad pathetic losers anyway

[skittles811]

me and my ex broke up a few days ago.

 

all my friends really don't like her at the moment, but all of her friends really seem to like me still.

 

it's kind of odd... i thought the opposite would happen

[thejigsup]

It varies. If they were already in your social group before you started dating, they usually stay friendly. If they were his friends and then got to know you, they generally take the side of your ex. It's not a personal thing, they are just being loyal to a friend and I respect that. I would hate my friends to be all friendly to any of my exes.

[Snoopy24]

One of the hardest parts of a breakup is that you don't only break up with your ex, you also break up with most of their friends/family as well.

 

It doesn't matter how long you went out, how great you got along with them. In the end, they are still HER friends before they are yours.

 

Sure, there are exceptions, but for the most part, you shouldn't try to continue any friendship with her friends. I don't think they were trying to be mean to you, or it's not that they don't like you. They just want to respect your ex by not talking to you. That's all.

[postscript]

We're all still friends, I think majority of them are awesome people, and we can talk (only on MSN really or when we bump into eachother) and have fun like we used to. The only thing I miss is being able to hang out with them and go over to their houses all the time, I think it's a bit too awkward for that at the moment.

[EyesOnThePrize]

Some of my ex's friends have stayed friendly with me, although I'm sure they are closer to her. I was speaking with one a bit about our relationship (before the ex moved away) and stopped because I didn't want her to be in the middle and have to choose sides. This woman actually sent me a little gift the other day, which really made my day, because to me that was an act of true friendship. Others have been neutral. One in particular, who I think really encouraged my ex to go for the divorce, talked to me right after, and was constantly telling me to forget my ex. I think she's been incredibly two-faced (although I acknowledge what she's doing makes sense to her) and I no longer consider her a friend nor do I desire any contact with her.

[CrapAtNC]

Most of her friends went instantly cold - I'm guessing because of her habit of denying what was great about us and focusing on what was bad (she has a fear of intimacy). What I did hear from her friends was that I was somehow pestering her, even though it was always her who did all she could to maintain contact when I did pull back.

 

But, at the end of the day, I won't get anywhere with my life I worry what others think. And if you want to get back with your ex, you need her to not worry what her friends will think, so you should lead by example and not bother yourself with it.

[AronSchneider]

One of the hardest parts of a breakup is that you don't only break up with your ex, you also break up with most of their friends/family as well.

 

It doesn't matter how long you went out, how great you got along with them. In the end, they are still HER friends before they are yours.

 

Sure, there are exceptions, but for the most part, you shouldn't try to continue any friendship with her friends. I don't think they were trying to be mean to you, or it's not that they don't like you. They just want to respect your ex by not talking to you. That's all.

 

I know, put I think that people should me polite and those friends of her that I have meet have not been polite. I can not agree with that kind of behavior even, tough I will not hang out with them.

[Mustang]

I bumped into a friend of my ex at Christmas and she was really supportive. She told me that she had no idea what was going through my ex girlfriend's head.

 

That said, my ex girlfriend's best friend posted a comment on her Facebook before we'd broken up saying: "There's loads of hot guys in your uni pictures! Get involved!". Nice eh?

 

And as you all know, my ex did get involve. I know how close girls are. I didn't stand a chance.

[AronSchneider]

For like two hours ago I met one of my exs better friends at my University. The funny part was that she moved up to me, I sat with a friend on a stair outside in the sun. She was very nervous, gave me a short hug and started to talk about the weather. I have never seen her nervous, not like that. I did not talk about the break up; I was just cool, polite and tried to look very happy. I said that I was moving after the summer and that I was feeling good; I made some jokes and was very relaxed. I also asked her about her boyfriend, and everything was cool with him. They lived the same “couple-life” as they have been doing for years. She told me about some trip she was going to do. I was surprised; I didn’t think my exs friends (not the close one) wanted to talk to me. It went of course little uncomfortable at the end, not for me but for her because she was so nervous. I think they are more nervous then I and I don’t think they hated me so much as my ex told me. It was not I that was unfaithful and left. It was my ex

 

 

 

In any other encounter...I will keep it friendly, look happy and never talk about my ex!

[PushingDaisies]

I dont really know many of my exes friends but one of them in particular is really nice to me; whilst we were breaking up he gave me advice and once we broke up he consoled me and told me I was a great person etc, it really helped. I met him through my ex. People like that make me so happy!

[AronSchneider]

I love when my ex friends talk dirt about me behind my back. I was on a party last Friday and talk to this girl as I have written about in this thread. This friend of my ex goes to a friend’s friend and says “Hey, I meet that guy that talked ill about disabled people”.

 

I did not talk ill about disabled people. I just said like 6-8 months ago on BBQ that my Ex had that I didn’t think that it should be okay if mentally ill people hurt other people even on mental institution. I was rather drunk when I said that...I * * * * ing hate socialist sweden! The only thing that is good with not hanging out with my ex is that I do not need to hang out with left wing artists, faghags and crazy gay men!

 

I was of course drunk when I said it but in Sweden and when you are with socialists this is so nasty to say. It’s very funny that people now when my ex is gone talk * * * * about my back; I think I most get used to it more and more.

[pryda]

My and ex and I were from the same 'friendship group' before we got together...and since the break-up, no-one has really treated me any different.

 

They know she's unstable and they know fine well I don't deserve any crap, so they haven't given me any.

I appreciate it a lot.

[AronSchneider]

I meet one of my ex friends for like twenty minutes ago in the library. She was like “Hey” with a great smile. I’m so tired to I just say hey. I hate to meet her friends when I do not look my best and have been studying all night. Okay! I have always nice cloths and my looks are okay but its that thing with the smile and happy sound in my voice when Im like 10 minutes from fall asleep. Now I must sit all day and all night with my final paper and I will meet my mentor in 3 hours..

[LW4E]

My ex and I shared a lot of friends, pretty much all of our friends were equally mine as they were hers.

 

She has a bunch of internet friends (Who I introduced her to) and after the break up she's been talking to them telling them nasty things about me... even though she says she still wants to be friends. All of our real friends have noticed this and have sided with me... even her best friend of four years says she can't put up with her crap anymore and now talks more to me than she does to my ex.

 

So it's kind of mixed, I guess my ex found it easier to persuade people on the internet, probably because they found it so easy to persuade her.

[Ericka_t75]

It hasn`t been long since we broke up but most of them treat me the same as they did before. His best friends don`t talk to me but I mean I don`t think they should...at some point there should be some loyalty there.