how to handle break ups during the holidays?

[thatboy_e]

Its been 3 incredible lonely weeks since the break up. It seems as if she has moved on and I am stuck in this sadness.

I find myself thinking about the past Holidays that we spent together everyday. Things I normally never thought of, all of a sudden come into my mind. The best time to have someone you love is during the Holidays. Everything I wanted her to be apart of, now she is not. The Holidays and my college graduation.

My ex hasn't called once, and it seems like she is having so much fun without me. She is dating other guys, and I find myself thinking about what she is doing with these other people. I'm going crazy thinking about what she's doing and who shes with. I find myself locked in my apartment because i don't want to take the chance of seeing her at a bar or anything. that would knock me out of the healing process. I usually look forward to Christmas, but now I just want it to be over already. How do I handle this breakup through the Holidays? The happiest time of year is now my saddest.

[akatoro]

hey there.

I am in the exact same situation as you are.

My ex didn't even call me when I got surgery - instead she sent me a short sms at 01.00 in the night when she saw I had been into a game. You feel overlooked, forgotten and perhaps even left behind. I know that's how I feel.

 

And I cannot offer you any real advice on how to get through with it. If I had, I would follow it myself. I really do hope that you can feel happy again soon.. These situations really do suck.

 

Good luck, pal.

[latinstyle]

Thatboy E, to be honest, there isn't much you or anyone can do to make you feel better. I was going through the same thing. I pleaded, tried to make her feel guilty and even proposed because I thought that's what she wanted. Boy I was an idiot. No matter what there is always hope of getting her back. It killed me when I heard she was moving on but I told myself she would never find someone like me.

 

My situation is a little different because we have been together 6 years and I have supported her financially and emotionally and I don't think we can just say goodbye to eachother like that and never talk again. For about a month though we didn't talk. Just recently we started talking and hanging out and it feels great, however, we don't really talk about the relationship.

 

I don't know if you are religious but just put your faith in GOD. I understand nothing right now is going to make you happy but remember this "It's always darkest before the dawn".

 

-Eibarra

[sayer7]

First off, remember your other friendships and relationships.

 

The holiday season revolves around love... and you're right: You have the best times during the holiday season when you're with people you love and love you back. But remember, this means not only romantic love, but also the love you share with family and friends. There are people you know out there that you care about and care about you in return... there are people out there that may want to be closer to you. Find them and reconnect with them. You are truly blessed in life when you have more than one close friend.

 

The Holiday season is also a great time to reconnect and make new friends. Go to a holiday party, meet new people. Life is about experiencing new things and there's nothing like starting at the turn of a new year. Make this Holiday Season and New Year as much of a new experience as possible and find new ways to enjoy yourself and experience life to the fullest. Wallowing in the past, what could have been, what shoulda been probably will only make you feel more depressed and that's not what life is all about. Life is ever changing... and sometimes change can be good for you- not just for other people.

 

As for your ex.... if she is growing as a person and is happy, then be happy for her while you go out and find happiness yourself. That is what love is all about... the willingness to let go and let the people we care about grow and seek happiness in their lives while we seek our own happiness as well.

 

Please remember that you are the one that lives your life, you are in control of our life, and you are in control of your happiness. Do not relinquish this control to someone else. Having a Happy Holiday Season is not up to your ex-- it is up to you.

 

Remember, there are people who care about you and want to be closer to you. There are new friends to be made, and new girlfriends to meet! Happiness is within your grasp as long as you reach out for it.

 

Happy New Year and Make the most of it!!