segor56 Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 Not having that excited voice on the other end of the phone to share stories or random thoughts with.... he still hasn't responded and I miss the 'him' that was awesome tonight. Link to comment
EyesOnThePrize Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 segor - Yeah, that's the toughest part for me. Thankfully I have my housemate, but I've known him for 6 months...I've known her 10 years and I'm just used to sharing everything with her. Link to comment
hers Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 I found this thread very helpful: Cheer up, buttercup. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 Segor, I know how you feel. I miss having someone in my life, to share in the happiness and sadnesses. Good times and bad. And to be there for them too. It's tough. Link to comment
segor56 Posted April 19, 2008 Author Share Posted April 19, 2008 I just can't stop the tears from welling in my eyes... Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 why did you break up? Link to comment
hers Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 I know what you're going through, Segor. It is one of the worst feelings in the world, enough to make you stop trying to get through it. Everything else seems worse in comparison. Your whole world is raining and you can't get dry. No one can tell you anything to bring you out of it. The crying doesn't stop. I want to give you a computer hug (e-hug?) right now b/c I know exactly what you're going through Link to comment
segor56 Posted April 19, 2008 Author Share Posted April 19, 2008 why did you break up? I loved him. He loved her. She loved someone else. Link to comment
segor56 Posted April 19, 2008 Author Share Posted April 19, 2008 But- he tried to love me.. he did... I just knew that deep down he loved her... and it broke my heart. I waited for him for years and years. I met him and knew he was enough for me.... And now he's gone.. and he's not coming back. For real. Link to comment
kuiks8 Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 My husband moved out last wednesday...and it has been way harder then I ever thought..i dread coming home to this empty house and knowing that he won't be there at all. I thought I did alone well but now i am scared that I did alone well b/c i had someone available... Like Eyesontheprizes ex I pushed for my husband and i to separate b/c i want to find myself and be independent on my own but one week in i feel so alone and vulnerable its hard not to try and find someone to be with... Link to comment
segor56 Posted April 19, 2008 Author Share Posted April 19, 2008 and then i think- he wanted to keep me in his life.. and advice from so many people on here was to go NC. So, I did. If I wouldn't have I would still be meeting with him.. seeing his daughter.. still able to call... but, now I can't b/c he is respecting what I asked for.. and it's over forever. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 and then i think- he wanted to keep me in his life.. and advice from so many people on here was to go NC. So, I did. If I wouldn't have I would still be meeting with him.. seeing his daughter.. still able to call... but, now I can't b/c he is respecting what I asked for.. and it's over forever. Segor, do you ever regret doing NC??? Just curious. And it's not over forever. If you think it can help you, you can contact him. I know people always advocate NC, but if you, in your heart, truly think it is not the right thing to do, then reach out to him. Link to comment
segor56 Posted April 19, 2008 Author Share Posted April 19, 2008 Segor, do you ever regret doing NC??? Just curious. yes- tonight I regret it so much. Link to comment
segor56 Posted April 19, 2008 Author Share Posted April 19, 2008 Segor, do you ever regret doing NC??? Just curious. And it's not over forever. If you think it can help you, you can contact him. I know people always advocate NC, but if you, in your heart, truly think it is not the right thing to do, then reach out to him. I did on Tuesday night.. and I haven't heard back a thing. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 I did on Tuesday night.. and I haven't heard back a thing. I'm sorry to hear that Link to comment
tazthecat Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 and then i think- he wanted to keep me in his life.. and advice from so many people on here was to go NC. So, I did. If I wouldn't have I would still be meeting with him.. seeing his daughter.. still able to call... but, now I can't b/c he is respecting what I asked for.. and it's over forever. And what would of changed, Segor? Would he miraculously decided to love you? Would he take away your pain? Would you both live on fluffy white clouds? NC was never the problem. The problem is he didn't love you. He would of felt this way, wheter you did NC or not..NC didn't keep him from you. HE kept himself from you.. NC is a way to make YOU move on from a relationship that had expired...He already did move on.. You need to come to terms with this..You deserve someone that WILL love you. And you will find that. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 Times like this is sometimes why I don't always agree with people here suggesting NC as a "blanket" solution to every situation. Sometimes NC is not always the best thing. And this could be an example of that. And Segor, I am not in any way trying to negate what you did. I feel for you and think that your ex is crummy for treating you like this. Link to comment
segor56 Posted April 19, 2008 Author Share Posted April 19, 2008 And what would of changed, Segor? Would he miraculously decided to love you? Would he take away your pain? Would you both live on fluffy white clouds? NC was never the problem. The problem is he didn't love you. He would of felt this way, wheter you did NC or not..NC didn't keep him from you. HE kept himself from you.. NC is a way to make YOU move on from a relationship that had expired...He already did move on.. You need to come to terms with this..You deserve someone that WILL love you. And you will find that. I know Taz. I'm just having a hard night. See- even when people go NC, they think that they have to upper hand and that there is somewhere still hope. Reality is that 9 times out of 10- it's the end. I miss the good that he and I had. But, you are right- it wouldn't be white clouds... he didn't love me. And, that isn't going to change. Link to comment
segor56 Posted April 19, 2008 Author Share Posted April 19, 2008 My husband moved out last wednesday...and it has been way harder then I ever thought..i dread coming home to this empty house and knowing that he won't be there at all. I thought I did alone well but now i am scared that I did alone well b/c i had someone available... Like Eyesontheprizes ex I pushed for my husband and i to separate b/c i want to find myself and be independent on my own but one week in i feel so alone and vulnerable its hard not to try and find someone to be with... Vancouver....... Link to comment
segor56 Posted April 19, 2008 Author Share Posted April 19, 2008 Times like this is sometimes why I don't always agree with people here suggesting NC as a "blanket" solution to every situation. Sometimes NC is not always the best thing. And this could be an example of that. And Segor, I am not in any way trying to negate what you did. I feel for you and think that your ex is crummy for treating you like this. Thank you. You know.... having contacted him earlier this week and to hear nothing at all back is pretty c* appy. I mean.... to hear nothing at all.... it's a control thing he's throwing at me... which was one of my concerns in the first place. Ok... thank you for saying he was treating me badly. To be lonely is one thing... I can get through lonely.. I have before... I can again... Link to comment
tazthecat Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 Segor, I know tonight must be hard for you..So many others on here seem to be going through the same thing..But know we are all here for you..You can always count on us to stick by you.. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 Segor, I agree it is pretty crappy. Maybe your ex is too "fraidy-cat" to face you. I dunno. Although I am not a big advocate of doing NC, I DO admire those who can pull it off. Shows a lot of self-control. I've never been able to pull off NC successfully. Link to comment
annie24 Posted April 19, 2008 Share Posted April 19, 2008 big cyber hug!!!!!! call up your girlfriends tomorrow and meet them up for dinner or drinks. get the book 'it's called a breakup because it's broken.' go to the gym. rent funny movies. this too shall pass. you'll be ok. this is the worst stage. you'll get through it. Link to comment
segor56 Posted April 19, 2008 Author Share Posted April 19, 2008 big cyber hug!!!!!! call up your friends tomorrow and meet them up for dinner or drinks. get the book 'it's called a breakup because it's broken.' go to the gym. rent funny movies. this too shall pass. you'll be ok. this is the worst stage. you'll get through it. Thanks Annie... I'm doing all of those things... my support system of people in my life has once again been amazing.. I'll look into that book tomorrow-- thank you for that suggestion.. I think sometimes it's good to cry it out.... you know? Link to comment
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