Did my response to the NC-breaking ex send him away?

[Suzanne1281]

The guy I was dating and doing no NC with texted me out of the blue Tuesday saying "Sorry about the distance. I hope you are doing well."

 

I responded saying "Thank you. I am doing alright." He didn't text back after that.

 

We haven't been in much contact the past 3 weeks. I told him I'd give him space and he told me he needed to put aside our issues so he could move on from his feelings for his ex. We left the door open. No goodbyes. I told him to clear his head and if we both want to be together at some point he should call. I have done VERY well with the NC and kept my promise to let him have space.

 

Text messages can suck because you don't know the tone of what the person is saying sometimes. I didn't text back "I'm doing good!" because, face it, I'm not. I didn't text back, "I'm sad and I miss you" because.. come on who wants to hear that? I figured "alright" was safe enough. But now I haven't heard from him after that. What's this dude's deal?

[Cognitive_Canine]

If it did send him away. GOOD!

 

Now you can heal. Stop thinking about him.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I agree with debaser. I bet his text was not so much concern about you but more that he is keeping you on the back burner and wants to make sure you don't completely disappear while he is sorting himself out...in other words that was a kind of "remember me, I'm still here". It doesn't matter that you wrote you are alright...in his mind you responded which means you are still waiting for him. That's the way people think when they are trying to have the best of both worlds. Hopefully he doesn't contact you again unless he is completely over his ex and wants to make an honest effort with you.

[Suzanne1281]

debaser and crazyaboutdogs-thank you for keeping me in line with this idiot. If only I had the willpower to not respond at all when he texted.

[Cognitive_Canine]

^^^

it comes with time. The fact you respond only shows that you are human and once cared about him (and probably still do). However, once you break up, remember self preservation. This is YOUR time now. You need to do what you want and need to feel better and BE better. Don't let him gunk it up. He had his chance, he messed it up. Good riddance!

[Daria_Lane]

Read this thread. It explains exactly what he did

 

 

[Suzanne1281]

Read this thread. It explains exactly what he did

 

]

 

 

Wow! Thank you! I am one in a lot of people having this issue! The only issue is that we have mutual friends. For example I am hanging out with his roommate on Saturday (he asked me to hang). So basically, we do have to keep a level of politeness with each other so I guess I just want to keep being the bigger person but I see how dangerous this LC thing is. Anyway, I am not going to contact the ex at all-I have no desire to initiate any contact with him. I'm going out tomorrow night with my friend who is going to introduce me to some of her male friends AND I"m going swing dancing with a guy I met last weekend. So if he calls again, I'll be having too much of a good time to respond.

[Daria_Lane]

Good. Have fun

 

How's Buffalo btw. I hope it's no longer snowing

[Suzanne1281]

Good. Have fun

 

How's Buffalo btw. I hope it's no longer snowing

 

 

Whoops I need to change that. I live in NYC now. And it's no longer snowing there as far as I know, but I have seen it snow it April many a time there. Honestly, it only snowed 2 times in NYC this winter, and I was so sad! I miss the snow!

[nickbroken]

Yeah NC is the only way to go, I'm about a month in of breakup/NC and it's a lot easier then lasttime when I heard from her all the time, haha thankfully I never will again.