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Hi my name is scott...

I am currently in a relationship for about eleven months with a friend of about seven years. We have made plans to move in together, start a family and eventually get married. About four months ago I started finding emails and messages to and from her ex boyfriend. In the emails she sent him a picture (in underwear and bra), talked about taking off work to go to lunch with him, and talks about how he was so hard to get over. I called her on it and her response was 1) the picture was to let him know he is missing out on a good thing, tease him, but not to at all rekindle anything. 2) She said she thought about going to lunch with him but didn't because she loves me. 3) and also said it was hard getting over a boyfriend of 5 years and that she never wants to get back into that again. This makes me jealous everytime he calls or any time the phone rings in fear it is him or any other man trying to call her. I can't even take her talking to co working guys because I know they flirt with her. I want her to have friends both male and female, but ever since i started finding these emails I find myself thinking about the past and find it extremely hard to believe anything she says. Please Help me!! I want to reach our plans, which by the way are plans she has brought up to me, but I feel my jealousy, and my trust issues are killing this relationship.

is it me?? Am I overreacting?? Help!!!!

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The relationship might already be gone. Try to remove your emotional response from it and look at it logically - why would she email him out of nowhere and send him pictures just to show him at he's "missing out?"


She sounds like an A.W. and you'd be better off not wondering for the rest of your life whether or not she is being faithful.

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Better to leave now. I mean you can't say a girl loves you if shes going around sending a picture of her nearly naked to an ex-- so how many other guys has she sent it to?


She may just see you as this good guy who will take care of her.. yeh, you can do better. You two nneed a real serious talk.

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i'm sorry but if i had found out my boyfriend was sending half naked pictures to exes to show them "what they're m missing out" i would've broken up with him.

I just find that as inappropriate behavior and that of what a cheater would do.

my trust for him would be gone, and i just couldn't be in a relationship where i don't trust someone.

also all respect towards that person would have gone down the drain.

but this is just my standards, people are different..


p.s. you have every right to be jealous

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Yeah this sounds like a high risk situation to me my friend. You have every right to be concerned. Removing all your talk look at factually what you just said above in your thread: She sent him a picture of her in undies and bra to show him what he's missing out on, she was thinking of going for lunch with him, she admitted that it is hard getting over that guy. That doesn't sound right. Also, "thought about going to lunch with him but didn't because she loves me", this is not as good as it sounds because by implying she changed her mind about lunch with him because of you she kind of admits that the whole purpose of the lunch with him was with more than casual intentions. Even if you talk to her about this she may not give you a straight answer as she already seems like she's lying about feelings for him, so what I would do is for the time being play dumb to this but watch her and observe what's going on.

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Yeah I can understand how you have trouble trusting. Naked pictures to her ex? That would get to me alright and I'd find her explanation very hard to believe. I wouldn't jump to conclusions just yet but I would definitely keep an eye on her about it... Besides even if she is genuine she should be considering your feelings on the matter. I wouldn't advise you to marry her for a while anyway

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