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Can't Even Get Rejected


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Caution, rant ahead:


Let me preface this by saying that I'm slowly finding my footing on the whole dating thing (and often losing it). I've always been introverted and shy, but overcoming it with success. When I was a child, just going up to a cashier to make a purchase made me anxious. Fortunately, I eventually grew out of it, but I was still somewhat anti-social (in the vernacular sense). Typical case: small group of friends -- fairly open and outgoing in front of them but extremely reluctant and hesitant around new people (everyone, not just girls).


Went to an all-male high school, and, as you can guess, minimal contact with the opposite sex. Like I said, I grew out of the "painful" stage of shyness during HS, and since I got to college, I've made concerted efforts to change my temperament, and with some success I'd say.


Okay, so, here's my complaint for the day: After all this, I finally managed to muster the nerve to ask some girls out and the result, with all of them, is simply being ignored! I just don't understand.


(Unnecessarily lengthy personal detail follows)

I met the only girl that I've been in something resembling a relationship with during orientation. It was some icebreaker event, and I started talking to her. We ended up pairing up and just talking to each other the whole time. So, to make an insufferably long story tolerable, we ended up going out together for about a month. We were both shy and inexperienced, so we just did things like going to the museum, getting dinner, shopping, etc., nothing physical. After about a month after we met, I called her to go on of our usual date-like activities, and she kept making excuses not to go. Eventually, she cut off all forms of contact with me -- no emails, phone calls, nothing.


About two or three months later, I received a lengthy, apologetic email from her saying how she had family issues and was very depressed during that time and was worried that I'd never talk to her again. We met again and talked about and went out for a couple of weeks, when she suddenly cut off all contact again!


Since then, I've procured a few phone numbers/email addresses. I ended up asking all of them out, and every call/email was simply ignored...no response.


Finally, (yes, it's almost over!) a couple of weeks ago, something unexpected happened. I was at a party and had enough alcohol in me to ask this girl to dance. After quite a while, she led me out of the party and asked if I wanted to go back to her room. We went back and fooled around drunkenly (just kissing and light petting, nothing serious). We were either talking or making out the entire night and we both had an amazing time. When we finally awoke and I left, she gave me her number and was very adamant about me calling her. She also said she wanted it to be more than a "one night thing." So I called her back during the week and asked her out to dinner and received the typical "I'll have to get back to you on that -- I'll call you back." And, obviously, no call back.


I'm just at wit's end, so frustrated, especially after these recent events. I would actually be happier if these girls would just say, flat out, point blank: "I'm not interested." I can take it -- I know many girls who aren't interested, adding another to the collection isn't going to hurt. I just don't know what to do, I'm tired of being led on like this.


Well, that was obnoxiously lengthy, but it felt good getting it off my chest.

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I know your high school was all male, but is your current community mostly male? I lived in a city that was only 35% female in my age range and that would happen a lot. Without some sort of said commitment between you two, it's too easy for her to hook-up with someone else in a community with those kind of figures. She probably made nothing of what you guys shared and went down the line to another guy. It happens.

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Because obviously it was supposed to be a one night stand. She doesn't want anything serious with you if she's making out with you the first night you meet her.


Just make friends who are girls and then find one you will like. It will come naturally.

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from a college dude's perspective.... when she said she wanted you to call her again, she may or may not have meant it. if she did, she probably wanted you to call her again for another night of partying and having fun. dinner is sometimes seen as too formal of a date for college age kids when you guys just met. next time you get a number, try just asking if she wants to go to a party or meet up later in the night. dinner alone together should probably be reserved till after you have something going, not to make it go. as for the other girls whose numbers you got, what did you say to them in the phone call? also, maybe you could try sending a text like hey whats up. some girls get uncomfortable easily and this is pretty nonthreatening.

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In response to the OP, I say you should call her out on it.

If a girl doesn't even have the decency to say no, you wouldn't want her anyway. Throw her out of your brain like so much mental garbage and let it go. Or get all up in her grill and be like "beyotch please." but that's just me, I like to entertain myself.

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