How do I get over her fast..

[blaat_r]

Yesterday my girlfriend of 18 months suddenly broke up with me, because she said she just doesn't feel what she used to feel for me anymore.. I'm absolutely devastated. She wasn't only my girlfriend, but my best friend too. I can honestly say that I don't have many friends, and I definitely don't have a 'best friend' besides from my brother, but he's almost never home. I rarely meet new people so it's going to be very hard to find someone new..

 

She was my first girlfriend, and I have no idea how I'm ever going to get over her. She had plenty of flaws, but the positives way outweighed the negatives. That's what making this so hard, I was madly in love with her at the time of our break-up!

 

We agreed that we could still be friends, but she's ignoring all my calls and texts completely. I'm not sending her sad texts or begging her for stuff, I just wanted the answers to some questions so I can move on, but it seems as if she absolutely hates me all of a sudden.

 

To make matters worse, she's going to a party tomorrow and next month she's going on a vacation with her friends, to a place where TONS of students come. So basically, she will find a replacement instantly.

 

I also have my final exams next week, but I can't learn at all in this state, please tell me what I have to do to get her out of my head and heart..

[Litgirl01]

Sorry you are going through this..I know it is painful! One thing you should learn from this is that you should never make a girl the center of your universe! You should have plenty of friends/etc. outside of the relationship! Your exams are VERY important! You are going to have to get yourself together and do what needs to be done...that's just life! We have to still take care of our responsibilities even when disaster hits!! Now is the time for you to start going out...make more friends, go to the gym, and get yourself back together! You can do!!! ;-)

[shell80]

I'm really sorry matey....it is one of the most awful feelings in the world....it really is, but I promise that it will not last....it really won't.

 

There is no quick fix....except some good old fashioned venting (on here helps), talking to people who understand (only people who have had their heart broken do....), and lookgin after yourself, even if that requires you to be selfish for a while.

 

I know you want answers.....I have been there done that, but honestly - she wont be able to give them to you. You can and will be able to find closure within yourself, not from the person who broke your heart.

 

I know it seems like she hates you - she doesn't but is feeling too guilty to give you any sort of respect adn kindness right now..... this is typical dumpee behaviour.

 

Hang in there.....you will get thru this (trust me..).

[blaat_r]

It seem as if I can only think of the good memories.. I can't find any bad memories.. and even when I do think of one I laugh about it because it seemed so trivial.. I even miss the negative parts about her!

 

I'm trying to think of new girls I can start dating now but even the thought of being near a girl other than her sickens me. My head is fighting my heart, but it feels like my heart has already won.

 

I'm checking her facebook every 5 minutes, not just for messages but I'm looking at our old pictures. She seems as happy as ever even though she just broke up with me. It's like shetotally erased me from her mind yesterday.

 

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[Litgirl01]

Stay off the facebook! You will drive yourself nuts!!!

[blaat_r]

I just sent her another text asking if she's sure her feelings didn't simply fade a bit because we hadn't seen eachother for a while.. I can't believe I'm acting so weak. I know she doesn't want me anymore but my heart won't listen!

[EyesOnThePrize]

I get that you think you're acting weak right now and that you believe she doesn't want you anymore. I think that's pretty normal at this stage of the game. I think it may even be magnified because its your first gf. I think you could find this a great place to come for to get support through this transition.

[floating_away]

I went through something similar just recently. My first relationship as well, although it was quite a bit shorter than yours. I assure you it will get better. You are going to go through a lot of different feelings in the coming months, and it'll seem like a huge rollercoaster ride, with highs and very deep lows. I can only tell you to hold it together. Take some time to grieve. Unfortunately this is a bad time for you because of exams, but it's possible you can use studying to help you get your mind off of it. There are lots of things you can do to help yourself, such as start a diary to track your thought and emotions over time. As well, make two lists. One list of all the bad traits of your ex. The other you can make later, and is a list of things that you fondly remember about the relationship. Trust me, you'll want to keep both. Look at the list of bad traits when you're feeling down to bring you up a little. And don't contact your ex! Every time you do, you'll feel terrible. If you feel you need some closure, and you can get it, then do that first before going NC. Also, Facebook is a no-no. Take this as an opportunity to cut back on Facebook, and don't check her profile. If you have photos or songs on your computer that remind you of her, quarantine them for a while. Put them somewhere where you can't easily get them in a moment of weakness. Rearrange your living space if it reminds you of her.

 

Also when you've stopped grieving, don't listen to any sad songs. They'll just keep the negative feelings flowing. Don't worry about finding another girl right now, that will come when you're ready.

 

I hate to see other people going through this. But you'll pull through, and you'll eventually realize you're the better person and you'll have learned a lot about yourself that you didn't know before. The experiences you've just had will serve you well in future relationships if you deal with them properly. There are a lot of better people out there, and you'll find them.

 

Best of luck.

[coco31]

I agree that you shouldn't look at facebook or myspace....I'm trying to do the same exact thing and I KNOW its tough... but its gonna make you feel worse if you keep looking.

[lifeiscash]

Also turn off your phone and erase her from it compleltey, old messages, texts, whatever. You need distance. The way I look at it, "Your mind is telling you something is NOT right, thereforeeee you need to believe that something IS NOT right and you need to make the changes to MAKE them right." I turn off my phone during the day so it wont tempt me to call or text her. And when I feel like I want to call my friends I do it on my time. I never check my myspace or facebook anymore. I'm thinking about deleting it actually. I don't want her to know what is going on in my life. She lost that opportunity and respect a long time ago by basically dumping me.

[Hope_Springs_Eternal]

blaat, you should sign up IMMEDIATELY for the NO CONTACT CHALLENGE started by superdave71.

 

The reasons for you going NC are explained there, and your only increasing your sense of panic when you text and get no reply. Stay calm, and trust in the psychological theory behind NO contact, and most of all Stop texting!

 

she asked for space so give it to her, and let he see what life is really like without you. she might hate it! but if you dont let her miss you, how will she know?

[blaat_r]

Oh great, she just removed every single picture of us together off her facebook.. it's like she's not bothered by this in the least bit.

[Portage]

I'm sorry but you really need to cut contact completely. The only way to get over it is to not be around it.

[Brokenhearted87]

I Know it's hard to believe (I know that personally I'm pretty adamant that my ex doesn't give a crap that we're done and I'm a mess), but I'm sure she does care! It's going to affect her in some way. Maybe she just doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve. I don't know why she took down the pictures, but I doubt it was an act of spite intended to hurt you. Maybe it's to help her cope? Maybe it's too hard for her (at the moment) to have reminders of the two of you together. I know my ex asked me to take all my stuff from his house "To make this easier for me" That really hurt, but I guess it was kinda inevitable. That's why I'm so glad he doesn't have any of those internet social networking accounts, cos I know I'd be even worse if he did. I think it would be better for you to try and avoid looking at her page. Feel better!