Question on my girlfriend's behalf...

[HellFrost666]

My girlfriend got herself in the middle of a situation with four friends of ours and she is wondering what to do. So, I thought I would ask for her...

 

A year ago, two friends of ours, Mary and Will, got engaged. The wedding is next month. My girlfriend is one of the bridesmaids. Well, after they set the date Mary called my girlfriend to ask her if she knew the address of two other friends of ours, Allen and Emily (so she knew where to send the invitation.) Well, Allen and Emily had just moved, so my girlfriend didn't know it. She didn't know the address as in the number, but knew where their place was located, so she told Mary where they lived. Well, now it's a year later. Emily and Allen never got an invitation, and they were wondering if they are still invited. And my girlfriend told them she knows they are invited because Mary was trying to find their address to send an invitation. And then my girlfriend offered Allen and Emily a ride up there with us, since the wedding is an hour away. So they tried to call Mary and couldn't get ahold of her. And Emily got online here at our place and sent Mary and email.

 

Then, the other night Mary called here to tell my girlfriend when and where the batchelorette party is. And my girlfriend asked her if Allen and Emily were still invited to the wedding. Mary said no because they "didn't have room for two more people" (which personally I think is a BS reason, but that's just me.) And then Mary said Allen and Emily haven't tried to get ahold of her so she never bothered. But I know Emily just sent them an email because she did it from my computer.

 

So now, my girlfriend is scolding herself for opening her big mouth (which I don't think she did anything wrong personally.) And she is wondering how to break the news to Allen and Emily. It's pretty obvious that Mary and Will aren't going to just tell them they aren't invited.

 

We don't know of any falling out these two couples ever had with eachother. Obviously Mary and Will are pissed off at them about something, but we have no idea what.

 

So what do you guys think?

[Snoopy24]

Well even though I'm sure your girlfriend had no bad intentions. It wasn't her place to tell them they were invited. I am sure if they were, they would have known they were invited before now.

 

It was a mistake. They happen. But now this is going to hurt the bride and groom, and the two that weren't invited.....

[HellFrost666]

Yea well... she only told them because they were invited at one point. She didn't know Mary changed her mind.

[Snoopy24]

If it were me personally I wouldn't tell them they were invited. (Even if at some point I knew they were.) I would assume they weren't anymore if they weren't noticed a month before..

 

I think your gf should call them and apologize and tell them they were invited but the funds were too much so they had to make the wedding a bit smaller.

[melrich]

Yeah, having been married twice I know that you go through many drafts of the guest list before you settle on the final one.

 

Your g/f shouldn't have said anything but I don't think it should be such a big deal. If I were her I'd just tell them like it is, exactly what happened.

[greensleeves]

Your girlfriend meant well and she shouldn't feel too bad about it. It was a very honest mistake. She probably should tell Allan and Emily that she was mistaken though, especially since she's a bridesmaid (making things easier for the bride goes with the territory) She can just explain that they they had contacted her for their address at one point so she assumed they had been invited, but that Mary and Will had to cut back on the guest list (she could throw in something like "maybe their parent's wanted to invite more guests than originally expected"). Beyond that, it's out of her hands, if it ends up that there are bad feeling between the two couples, they'll have to sort that out themselves and she shouldn't be the go between.