bubbamackdaddy69 Posted December 2, 2003 Share Posted December 2, 2003 Hello everyone and thanks for reading. Well a little background on my realtionship with the ex. We went out for about 2 years and 8 months and lived together for a bit over 2 years. We had our ups and downs like every other relationship but she decided to end it alomost 4 months ago. At first I was begging her back and such but then after a month did the no contact thing. After that she would contact me about once a week to talk or go for coffee but I would never contact her at that point because I was trying my hardest to keep the no contact rule in effect. I have to admit though that during the relationship I was the one that never gave it my fullest. She was the one that wanted to marry me and have my children and such but I was always scared of commitment and never truly showed her how much I loved her. Like people say ..you don't know what you have until it's gone. Well anyways she started going out with someone that she met on-line a couple of weeks before we broke up and after we broke up she started dating him and to this day she still is I think. She would still contact me about once a week or 2 until 2 weeks ago her new boyfriend gave her an ultimatum.Either she stops seeing and talking to me or they are finished. this post is about it.. link removed Well her birthday was last friday and I sent her a e-card and left her a message on her cell phone to wish her happy birthday but she never replied with a thank you, that kind of hurt a bit because a "Thank You" would have been nice. So the question is should I even bother sending her a Xmas card and her family as well. I mean I truly love her and I'm sorry for the fact that I never really showed her how much I loved her, but deep down something tells me to not give up at the chance of getting back with her sometime in the future. I'm actually dating someone new now for the past 2 months and she's really nice and I'm respecting the no contact rule with the ex but as much as I am slowly getting over her and moving on , there is something that keeps telling me that we were meant to be together and things will fall into place. Sorry about all that rambling there but does anyone think I should send her and her family a XMAS card? It's gonna feel weird this XMAS not being with her as we spent the last 2 together with my family. Any suggestions would be appreciated..thanks Link to comment
confused33 Posted December 2, 2003 Share Posted December 2, 2003 I know after dating someone that long, that you get used to the family. So if you want to show the family that you still care a Card would be a nice thing to send. Just dont let this card be above and beyond what the new boyfriend would do. Dont start any conflicts, because the family might influence the daughter and say why didnt your new boyfriend send us a card (if he doesnt) then she might turn on you and say that you made he boyfriend look bad. If you want to make him look bad then send a card and make it really touch their hearts. But for the most part a card would not be a bad thing to send to show them how much you care. Link to comment
bubbamackdaddy69 Posted December 2, 2003 Author Share Posted December 2, 2003 Yeah I was really close to her family and she was really close to mine. I'm thinking I should send them a card and her sister as well. They were really nice to me for the 3 years we went out and liked me alot especially her little sister. I've sent them a letter a couple of months ago telling them how much I miss them and they sent me one back saying the same.. It was a nicec letter. As for the new boyfriend I don't think they met, if they did I think it was only once. Her parents live an hours drive away and neither my ex or the new guy have a car so I don't think they went up to see them at all. I agree though the letter would be nicee to send her parents... they were nice and liked me alot. Link to comment
WomackC706 Posted December 2, 2003 Share Posted December 2, 2003 I think that you shouldn't.... I mean she ended it, right? It has been 4 months. It wouldn't be bad if you did. I just wouldn't. It seems to me that every time I tried (keyword being tried) to do something, like this, that was nice or thoughtful, they would toy with my emotions and head by saying stuff like " well, I think that we have a good chance of getting back together after the holidays." And it never works out that way. She might enjoy it though. If you did get her something, don't get anything too big or expensive or anything. Get her something that you would by a friend. Link to comment
bubbamackdaddy69 Posted December 2, 2003 Author Share Posted December 2, 2003 Yeah I wasn't going to send her anything big or expensive.. I was just going to get her a card and maybe the new Dixie Chicks or DIDO cd because I know those are her 2 favorite bands. But the thing is I don't wanna feel like a chump sending her stuff like that and not getting a thank you back. I have honestly pretty much moved on with my life but there is still a part of me that loves her and hopes to rekindle our love. Maybe it's just because of the holiday season is here and I'm becoming emotional not having her with me.. Link to comment
bubbamackdaddy69 Posted December 2, 2003 Author Share Posted December 2, 2003 Another question... Since we last spoke 10 days ago regarding her ultimatum that her new boyfriend gave her"Stop talking to me or they are finished" and I told her that maybe it would be best if we stopped talking.The thing is she still has some of her stuff at my apartment. Should I call her one last time to tell her to get it? Or should I wait until later or send some stuff to her.?? Link to comment
mahlina Posted December 3, 2003 Share Posted December 3, 2003 No, I think that you should just bury it somewhere for the time being. The point is, you want as much space and distance for now. Contacting her will only open the door, and will slow up the process of moving on. Link to comment
bubbamackdaddy69 Posted December 3, 2003 Author Share Posted December 3, 2003 So you honestly think I should put her stuff aside? What do you guys think of getting one of her friends or soemthing to pick up the stuff? Having some of her stuff here just reminds me of her... Another question...Since we last spoke about 10 days ago after I told her that maybe we shouldn't speak because of her new boyfriend, I asked her if she still had the 2 huge 3 foot high stuffed animals that I gave her and she said yes, that they are on her bed.. I just found that weird that she would have it on her bed still? What does the new guy think of that? If she really wants to move on with her life why wuold she still have them, especially on her bed still? I don't know just another weird unimportant question.. Link to comment
mahlina Posted December 3, 2003 Share Posted December 3, 2003 That's cute! But, try not to overanalyze it too much. Yeah, it is a sign that she still cherishes you for the things that you've given her. It's her comfort in knowing that you wll always be there for her. Meanwhile, don't even bother contacting her friend to pick up her stuff. Your ex will come through and get it, if she really needs it. If I were you, dump it in a box, and throw it in your garage or tool shed or something. Keep it as far away as you can. Put a crucifix on it! Hehe! J/K. You don't need to be reminded of her for now! (On the side note: you can throw a bonfire, and trash some of her stuff in there... just to feel a little relieved. But, keep the important things, so that you can dig it up later on and reminisce! =) Link to comment
bubbamackdaddy69 Posted December 3, 2003 Author Share Posted December 3, 2003 Yeah I know what you mean.. But we shared a 2 bedroom apartment together and there is not much space to really store it away. The apartment is kind of full as it is and no place to really hide it.. Maybe I should give it to her parents or something.. Link to comment
mahlina Posted December 3, 2003 Share Posted December 3, 2003 No, no, no! Whatever you do, you don't want to have any contacts with her, even her parents. Actually, at most, don't contact her parents. It shows that you're willing to be there for her, even if she's taken. It puts you in a position which makes you look like her subordinate. Don't do that Bubba! If your apartment is small, then throw it in the attick! Hide it behind a pile of clothes. Or, hide it in luggages that you won't be using for the time being. That's a good idea... Link to comment
bubbamackdaddy69 Posted December 3, 2003 Author Share Posted December 3, 2003 Lol... so I guess giving it to her parents is not a good idea right? I guess you're right..I should just shove somewhere in the back for now... Link to comment
Senna Posted December 3, 2003 Share Posted December 3, 2003 I really think you should try and get on with your life it comes to a point where you really have to let go. l really understand where your coming from but if she wanted you back she'd be with you now right? sooner or later it will start to become unhealthy, for your own sake start to get strong. l wish you luck Link to comment
bubbamackdaddy69 Posted December 3, 2003 Author Share Posted December 3, 2003 I agree with you Senna, it's just sometimes harder than it seems. I mostly have good days that I am healing and moving on and then there are some days that are just tough, especially around this time of the year, the first time without that special someone you were with for 3 years..... Just gotta keep looking forward and not look back I guess Link to comment
Senna Posted December 3, 2003 Share Posted December 3, 2003 l know this time of year is hard, it's been 4 months since l saw or heard from my ex and we were together for 5 years, but the no contact did work for me in the end and l think it could work for you as well. l've met a lovley girl now..never thought l would and l'm falling for her and now my ex is at the back of my mind and not the front. lt can be done l never thought it could but sometimes we can surprise ourselves with our inner-strength. During the bad times your real character shines through and your real strength comes out. l wish you well Link to comment
bubbamackdaddy69 Posted December 3, 2003 Author Share Posted December 3, 2003 Thanks Senna.. I appreciate that.. So far she's keeping the no contact rule..10 days now... I have met someone new as well and been datingher for the past 2 months but unfortunetly I do not have those feelings for her.. But like you said..we gotta keep strong.. I wish us all luck in these circumstances Link to comment
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