Mustang Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Yet more texts to one another saying very little. I know that I prefer LC to NC but it just seems like we're hiding behind the pointless chit chat sort of texts. I know why I still speak to her. I still care about her and want her back. It just seems a bit strange that she's still open to us talking about mundane things. What I mean is, if I had the same sort of text convos with a friend of mine, I'd have stopped long ago. Don't get me wrong, I am happy that we do text each other, but it just feels like there's a deeper reason behind it. Do you think that maybe on some level, her texting me is her way of keeping me around? Maybe as LC progresses, eventually the reasons for our break up will seem like less of an issue to her. I personally believe that things would be different if we were to get back together but obviously she has to see the changes herself. Then again, she could most probably have a new boyfriend for all I know. She'd certainly not tell me. But at the same time, I know if I had a new girlfriend, I'd not be bothering to exchange text messages with my ex with "how's it going?" kind of texts. Plus there's no signs of it on her Facebook page and she was pretty happy to hang around with me on Saturday when we bumped into each other. I dunno, clutching at straws again perhaps? Link to comment
AngryHeart Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 Hmm, it may be the guilt factor. I too have those same kind of contact with my ex. It seems like it doesn't go anywhere, and it does make you wonder why they keep it up (and us for that matter) I do think guilt may play a role in it. They know they really hurt us (I'm guessing she broke it with you?), they know they broke our hearts, and they probably know we still want them back to be fair. So maybe they feel too guilty to end all contact? I dunno. I get the feeling it could be a thing where they ease their guilt. Like "if I ask how they are, small chat, that kind of thing...I'm doing my part and don't need to feel guilty" That's just my 2 cents...but of course we can't read their minds, so who knoowws. Link to comment
Addicus Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 What do you want to get out of LC? From your post LC makes you think too much and try to read into everything...maybe stopping you from moving forward? Have you done NC? If so for how long? Does contact make you feel good but then a big let down after when all the texting was about is small chit chat? Sometime the ex has to not be able to talk to you to miss you.....I gave my ex 37 days...I have no idea if she missed me..most likely not as I ams ure she moved on...we exchanged emails today..... I am not sure where to go from here but I kow that the less i talk to her the better for me (most importantly) and maybe by opening the door she will make more effort to contact..if not then I will continue to move forward.... Just be carful that you don;t forget what your needs are....it's amazing what you discover when you remove the source of pain from your life! You find that you do have a life! Link to comment
Mustang Posted March 13, 2008 Author Share Posted March 13, 2008 Hmm, it may be the guilt factor. I too have those same kind of contact with my ex. It seems like it doesn't go anywhere, and it does make you wonder why they keep it up (and us for that matter) I do think guilt may play a role in it. They know they really hurt us (I'm guessing she broke it with you?), they know they broke our hearts, and they probably know we still want them back to be fair. So maybe they feel too guilty to end all contact? I dunno. I get the feeling it could be a thing where they ease their guilt. Like "if I ask how they are, small chat, that kind of thing...I'm doing my part and don't need to feel guilty" That's just my 2 cents...but of course we can't read their minds, so who knoowws. That makes a lot of sense actually. I think we can all admit that we tend to over analyse things when we want something so badly. I'm sure if I looked closely at an apple for long enough I'd start to see images of me and my ex skipping through a meadow on a summer's day. Why an apple I hear you ask? Why not? Link to comment
AngryHeart Posted March 13, 2008 Share Posted March 13, 2008 LMAO, why ever not an apple? And yeah, you're totally right...we do way over analyse when we want someone back. But just remember, you dunno what's going on in her head -- it might not be guilt, it could be that she wants you back, it could be a mixture of everything! That doesn't really help, but... Link to comment
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